Happy New Year our dear readers, get ready for a new country to explore. Once we pass Siberia and go further east, we end up in the Governorate of Yakutia - a cold, cruel, underdeveloped place, that nonetheless has all the potential needed to become a second Klondike. Now, where do we start?

BRIEF HISTORY

Yakutia was subjugated by Muscovite Tsardom by the second half of XVII century, however not even at the eve of XX century was it explored well enough to be considered an integral part of Russia proper. Rich with metal deposits, as well as other resources, but lacking in infrastructure and really distant from the capital, this region, organized as Yakut Oblast’, was only transformed into a full Governorate when in July 1912, as a part of Stolypin’s reforms as a prime minister for Emperor Alexei II, governor Ivan Kraft conducted reorganization of Yakut Oblast’ into Yakut Governorate. Those reforms however remained largely superficial; in 1913, Kraft was replaced by Rudolf Witte as a governor, which changed literally nothing for Yakutia’s inhabitants. In 1919, administration of the Governorate supported the revolution, as governor Witte oversaw the incorporation of Yakutia into Far East General-Governorate (in place of old Cisamur General-Governorate) while Irkutsk General-Governorate (to which Yakutia previously belonged) remained divided over whether to support the revolution or not; however, the course of civil war (and shock among the Russian establishment after governor Witte was assassinated by a Yakut nationalist early in 1925) caused the administration, led by a respectable admiral Georgiy Stark, to switch sides and swear fealty to Kolchak less than a month after Rudolf Witte’s assassination.
Georgiy Stark since then was forever branded a traitor by Zheltorossiyans, but Yakut Governorate remained under the Russian Empire. With much of the Far East General-Governorate occupied by Russian Republic and Semyonov’s troops, Yakutia remained a de facto successor of the General-Governorate, not to mention a naval base for whatever remained of Russian Imperial Fleet in the Pacific. After the results of the civil war were acknowledged, Yakutia returned to sluggish existence. Many things might change soon though...

STARTING SITUATION

Stark’s regime is pretty autocratic yet paradoxically rather passive. Advisors of the old admiral are overwhelmingly of military background, as the Governorate’s administration remains centered around two things - navy and management of prison camps for dissidents from European parts of Russia. Suppressing the nationalist resistance of ethnic Yakuts is also a priority, as is containing any excessive foreign influence. However, with the effects of November 1935 Strike felt throughout the Empire, Yakutia is no exception. Once winter becomes a bit less cold than usual, the streets of Yakutsk might once again welcome a half-forgotten sight - demonstrations, mass meetings, and police crackdowns.
Yakut nationalists have two ways to turn this surge of anger directed at the Kolchakocracy’s representatives into something productive - either they rely only on themselves when organizing the mass protests, unifying around a group of ambitious democratic intellectuals led by Pavel Ksenofontov, or they accept the Japanese aid - even though it means accepting the fact that a newly “independent” Yakutia would be a Japanese satellite in all but name.
Stark, who could negotiate with the protesters (so that he remains in command of Yakutia’s navy upon being removed from the Governor’s office) regardless whether they make a deal with the Japanese or not, also could just barely get an edge over his opponents by deploying the police and the coastal guard in the epicentres of protests, preventing an overthrow of his regime.
How would the winter end for Yakutia? With independence? With a surprise coup from the Japanese? Or with the continued rule of a statesman who could only offer more of the same?

KSENOFONTOV’S ROUTE: FREE INDEPENDENT YAKUTIA

With Yakut demonstrators prevailing entirely on their own, and Stark relocated to Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky for him to train a new generation of naval officers there, the governance of Yakutia is now in hands of republican intellectuals, chief among them - Pavel Ksenofontov, a longtime leader of a Yakut Confederalist movement, who believes that Yakutia in order to be independent should be a democratic republic with representation given to all peoples of this diverse nation - not just Yakuts and Russians, but Chukchi, Koryaks, Yukagirs, Itelmens, Evenks, Evens, Kamchadals, and many other indigenous tribes (as well as minorities among the European settlers, such as whatever few Ukrainians, Germans, Jews, Poles and even some Belarusians that could be found in Yakutia). Reforms of this new government would go beyond merely promising various reforms to both the people and the navy, as Ksenofontov genuinely wishes for the Constitution to work as intended, and for the people’s prosperity to be guaranteed. Which is why, to counter the fading Japanese influence, a free Yakutia would trade with the USA as well as British Commonwealth, securing free trade deals that would help to fund the growing welfare state. Finally, in the field of foreign policy, the Republic of Yakutia would have some interesting opportunities. In case Siberia is led by the Black Hundreds carrying out reprisals against the Asian natives, Yakutia would be able to protect them (or at least try to). In case Siberia is led by the Autonomists, Yakutia would find many benefits in modernizing the Yakut culture to assert the Yakut nation’s position as being Asian ethnically, but European culturally, which would especially useful if Siberia goes down the “Europe of our Own” route. Finally, regardless who rules Siberia, Yakutia could assert a Swiss-like neutrality or seek some additional prestige and security at the cost of letting unemployed British and Anglo-Canadian fishermen and labourers to settle in a couple of dozen of new settlements near Okhotsk Sea, reward for that being Yakutia’s membership in the Commonwealth of Nations.
(Full tree for Ksenofontov’s path is here)
But what if Yakutia remains under Stark’s rule?

STARK’S ROUTE: STATUS QUO

With the admiral’s position as the Yakutia’s governor being cemented, he would embark upon doing three things - improving the situation somewhat for his subjects, improving the situation greatly for the Pacific Fleet, and continuing Russian Imperial attempts at modernization by attracting more Russians to this part of the country - whether they be technical specialists, gold prospectors or convicted criminals. Like most other warlords who rule their own petty fiefdoms on the ruins of Imperial Russia, admiral Stark would be observing the situation in Central Russia carefully, with any decisions about Yakutia’s fate postponed until the Summer Coup would end with either side’s victory.
Reunification with Russia or any other legitimate polity claiming to be Russia?
Reluctant press conference in which Yakutia would be proclaimed an independent nation, even though Yakuts would have de facto less rights than Russians under such regime?
Same as before but with a more moderate, less autocratic rhetoric, aiming to secure the Autonomist Siberia’s favor?
Or maybe Stark, in case Boldyrev would have his victory, could voluntarily let Yakutia reunify with the Far East General-Governorate, since there would be no reason to postpone the inevitable?
(Full tree for Stark's path is here)
Sure, there are nationalists, there’s a pro-Russian path, but...pro-Japanese path? Well, you’ll see:

AIZAWA’S ROUTE: SURPRISE FROM MANTETSU

Situation in Yakutia interested many factions within the Japanese establishment for a long time (especially those that favored an expansion in the northern direction). Which is why governor Kishi of Mantetsu offered full support to colonel Saburo Aizawa
in his bid for securing these troublesome outskirts of Russian Empire for Japan. Enough gullible nationalists, as well as some carefully placed special agents in the provincial capital of Yakutsk and key port cities, can bring Yakutia under the Greater East Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere. While nominally independent, Yakutia would become a resource colony for Japan as well as its northern naval station in practice, receiving a significant stream of Japanese, Chinese and Korean newcomers in the first months of Aizawa’s takeover. (Side note - Aizawa IRL was the one who assassinated Tetsuzan Nagata, but in this timeline they both remained more or less neutral to each other, and Aizawa functions as Nobusuke Kishi’s protege.)
However, soon after Japan acquires this Klondike, it inevitably collapses upon itself in the civil war, which is apocalyptic news for everyone that hoped to avoid the Japanese Empire’s demise. How does the government of Yakutia respond to it?
Proclaim neutrality and hope that none would notice Yakutia after that?
Or maybe Yakutia becomes an official dominion of Japan, should the Imperial side win the war.
Or, in case the Revolutionaries win, the remnants of Imperial establishment, most of which flee to Korea and/or Mantetsu, might end up in Yakutia, proclaiming a new Empire in exile led by a relatively moderate emperor. Otherwise, if Revolutionaries win, there is also an option for Yakutia’s regime to fail spectacularly - with agents sent by Revolutionary Japan to sabotage Aizawa’s regime so that the far-left Zheltorossiya might be able to annex Yakutia without much bloodshed.
(Full tree for the pro-Japanese path is here)

YAKUTIA IS A NAVY WITH THE STATE

Regardless which path for Yakutia you pick, there is a matter which constitutes a shared concern for any government that might rule Yakutia - namely, the navy and the ways it might impact the rest of the country.
Much of Yakutia’s infrastructure is geared towards supplying whatever remains of the Russian Imperial Pacific Fleet after more than half of it was lost in the Civil War or defected to Zheltorossiya. Taking the navy focus tree helps Yakutia to modify its starting “Remnants of the Pacific Fleet” national spirit so that it only has beneficial effects for the state, not to mention that the research of new naval tech is what drives the evolution of Yakut armed forces, with army being composed mainly out of coastal guard and the air force still constituting primarily recon and auxiliary units. Focus tree helps improve the navy, not to mention it allows for a flexible composition of the fleet.
Should everything go as intended, Yakutia might be a very useful support nation in any major conflict, with its gameplay being more navy-oriented than that of any other Russian warlord state.
And that’s all, full focus tree for Yakutia is here, travel log number 6 is over, Happy New Year everyone, stay tuned for next progress reports!
For those interested, here are links for our Discord and TvTropes.

Hello everyone, and welcome back to the Rap Battle Royale! 37 civs entered, only 1 can leave. Which one will it be?
Before we start, I would just like to point out that I've been travelling quite a lot, and also the internet went down for me, so I havn't been able to reply to many comments. Unfortunately, I'm going to be spending 2 days going back to London tomorrow and the day after, so sorry bout that.
After this, each rapper must respond to their enemies verses with a second verse, which will be due in on Sunday, 11am brit time, swearing and insults are allowed but no rascism or clear hatred. PM me the raps once they're done. A few people didn't message me their raps, and most have explained to me why they havn't. When we get both verses the Judges will commence deciding who progresses and who will be doomed to cry to themselves for the rest of their lives. Thanks to everyone for the support!
A reminder of the battles:

• Chile(Atlas_Schmatlas) vs Incans (gagging4gags)
  
• Mayans (thetimelyspoon) vs Buccaneers (MillinerJones)
  
• Mexico (scully645)vs Texas (SabyZ)
  
• Blackfoot (Gresskarpai) vs France (ImperialismHo)
  
• Inuit (IAMA_MadEngineer_AMA) vs Iceland (Wigmaster999)
  
• Ireland (Blaiz1T) vs England (admiral_ifan)
  
• Norway (Nestourai) vs Sweden (Copse_Of_Trees)
  
• Germany (Lumen0602) vs Rome (TFCAliarcy)
  
• Poland (MaggotInBikini)vs Finland (twinsizewest)
  
• Sparta (CAPSSMOCK) vs Byzantium (Flarezap)
  
• USSR (not_enough_characte) vs Ayyubids (Luigiatl)
  
• Carthage (lol0star) vs Ethiopia (riskyrolf)
  
• Persia (JCPoly) vs Mughals (radster_x)
  
• Yakutia (Funhau5) vs Japan (Albinoredguard)
  
• Mongolia (wasgoodlilma) vs Tibet (Ossmosse)
  
• China (Protroid) vs Vietnam (SpookyWagons)
  
• Burma (EmeraldRange) vs Philipines (daniel14253)
  
• Kimberly (Steve_McKinnon)vs Australia (DecJ21)
  
• babylons(Mista_Ginger) get a week 1 bye
  

JUDGES:Mob_cleaner , Night_Man_ , TPangolin , silence_in_samarkand , Kropenfuer
Onwards to the show! oh wait, it seems the babylonians want to rap, even though they have a bye.
BABYLONS "DONT FUCK WITH ME" RAP:
Even though I got a week one bye, Thought I might spit verse for fun. Let all the others know not to try, Rap against Nebby, you're done. Lyrics be nuclear like our subs, Under ice we see you fight. While you still fighting with spears and clubs, Be too simple for rhymes I write. Watch me win Babylon this battle, I'll be king, call me Royale. While you all sit and prattle, I'll be chillin' at Nassau Canal.
CHILE VS INCA: Your name is gagging4gags, so here's a joke: Who's only got 6 cities, and a pop that's broke? Unlike your username suggests, here's to hoping you don't choke-- Until the Chilean Renaissance when you're still livin' in Baroque! No need to serve you, Pachacuti, You're self-servin' like Tutti Frutti Snipe your terrace farms for booty O'Higgins, no scope, Call of Duty Valparaiso should've been ominous, Prepare for the red white and blue apocalypse Fuck off Remus, this is Romulus With failure you've become synonymous First in military on the continent, Wreaking havoc on your confidence Combined with Eva and Brazil's incompetence The only way we play is dominance.
Hey Chile nice start there - very mountainous, I guess it's easy to defend but where's your growth? Well we've got terrace farms but an annoying blot of blue, So when we've finished feasting we'll grow off you. Our expansions lookin' better no Colombia in game, But your position with Argentina is looking quite the same. Only this time they're lookin' angry and more strong, I think they'll take your cities, doubt you'll prove me wrong. Oh look what's that? Do I see Part 5? Looks like we're gonna eat Brazil alive. Generating more spots for our UI, By the time we get to you you'll quickly die.
MAYANS VS BUCCANEERS
You think you got the high seas? I’ll put on your fuckin’ knees You think you’ve got the land lead? I only see a desperate need To spread your seed Make you into a gentile And then I’ll defile Your precious canal We’ll see who’s banal Build your terracotta army But it ain’t gonna help Cuz Pacal is getting smarmy You motha-buccin’ whelp When things are getting heady Got atlatls ready We gunnin’ for ya Henry
Coming straight from the Port of my plundering spree We are the 12 sail terror of the Caribbean Sea We do what we want because a pirate is free The world's gonna fall to the b u double C We gonna make the world crunk with our rum and distilleries Gonna make the world burn with our ships and artillery Gonna make it rain gold with our treasurer so glittery Gonna make our opposition walk the plank-- literally Well rattle your atalatals with our cannons & paddles Cut you up like cattle win the battle And take a victory ride through our canal at Panama It's your apocalypse now, start retirement planning brah.
TEXAS VS MEXICO:
Hey, is that the sound of armies running away? Well it must be the Mexicans getting bored today! Let me tell y’all what will happen when you take a rash action against the Lone-star faction, you get a reaction that y’all just didn’t expect! We crushed your friends in the east, but they tried at least but you cannot compete against Sam Houston’s Elite! You’re next, so before you get wrecked, y’all better show Texas some respect! We’ve got Baltimore, Lincoln has lost your war, but don’t be so quick to rush out the door so I can make sure y’all get the arrows that y’all paid for! So have your fun while I finish my steak brisket, But if y’all want Austin, come and take it!
BLACKFOOT VS FRANCE
I thought I was gonna rap against the sioux But no, out of all people i ended up with YOU Napoleon, famous for being a gnome Too bad you can’t beat anyone else than Rome Yeah, run away with your wine and your baguettes Or else I WILL make sure you’ll have regrets You want an empire? You’ll have to change yo’ plans Soon you’ll see black feet all over yo’ lands Just waiting for the world congress to convene We’ll make you relive the 18th of June 1815 You know your new city, Neapolis? Ain’t gonna be long before it’s a fuckin’ necropolis I’ll do to you what the germans did to Lorraine and Alsace Next part, to see your empire, you’ll need a magnifying glass!
Napoleon is too scared to respond.
INUIT VS ICELAND
I am Ingolfur Arnarson, leader of the Icelandic vikings And I’m afraid that my appearance here bodes you some ill tidings You’d better run and hide in an igloo, pathetic Ekheunik, ‘Cause I might be drinking from your skull at my next Icelandic picnic! You can’t beat an Icelander at a glorious rap battle Our UA’s geared towards Great Writing, so spare me all your prattle Let’s face it, your civ’s basically just the Sioux’s little brother Compare a rag-tag bunch of seal hunters to me? I’m a Viking warrior! When you try to cross from the mainland, you’ll meet my longboat fleet If you forward-settling bastards settle Greenland, you’ll be facing defeat I believe it’s time for you seal-hunters to cede the lands of snow to us Or we’ll take them by force and you’ll run away in fear, wuss The only reason I can conceive that I won’t win this fray Is if the Sioux get to you first and whip you anyway
Waddup, Iceland, ya gonna get beat cause you be fucking with the true kings of the ice sheet. This battles gonna end in our reykjavik-tory. Your thingstead? Yo your things dead, our rhymes are straight fire we skalding you, So we think it's time that you inuksuk our dicks If crouchin' in on my borders is what I feel Ima club u bitch, just like a fuckin' seal. You think you come from the land of Ice and Snow? All you know is how to blow! Descendants of a Viking King Destined to become My Bottom Bitch Queen You came to my land once, tryin' to expand I bitch slapped you, knocked you down, with my righthand Selfish, you threw a fit, chickened out, it was neat It's nice and warm there with those volcanoes for heat But I will kindle my fires with your peoples feet Your name is Bullshit, A lie, Deceit Ingólfr Arnarson ([ˈiŋkoulvʏr̥ ˈartnar̥sɔn])[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Help:IPA_for_Icelandic] You'll be kissing OurOwnAsses-son
IRELAND VS ENGLAND
Battle against Ireland? Shit, only one way to go/ make a few- well, loads- of jokes about potatoes/ You'll be in trouble when my guns are in Dublin/ wipe off that smug grin, my subs'll have you unsubbing./ Your rhymes are weak, the famine's hit your brain,/ you're not Battle Royale, you're the Hunger Games./ Your army's tame, mine is high and mighty,/ making you flighty, straight outta Blighty,/ you gonna strike me? I'm asking politely/ before I come from York to Cork, fighting/ knick knack paddy whack, sipping my tea,/ Right after Germany I'll raze your cities,/ Now I'm nearly finished, so finish your Guinness,/ or whatever piss it is they drink in Limerick/ And thank St Patrick, tomorrow's has-been/ for all the land I'll take for God and the Queen.
Oh what country is this, England, barely a rival to great Éire, Are you taking the piss? The Atlantic, not enough to stop our fire, This marks the end of your empire, Which already leaves nothing of desire, So what happened to your sun, Seems to have set, Your own title, You'll need more than your queen, To have it met. I hear you crying, don't worry pet, Your nation will be finished quickly, For the love of God don't get upset
NORWAY VS SWEDEN
Okay y’all… We’re here in Northern Europe for MKII And I know the fans are hating on me and on you Now why the distain? It ain’t no mystery Here in Civilization, fans love their history Yo, school’s in session (school bell) Class, today’s subject is TPang’s Battle Royale, MK I (sit up straight Mr. Kropenfuer) Back then everyone was pissed about Mess-opotamia Norway was sitting pretty, alone in Scandenavia Shoulda' been a cinch! You had the whole peninsula But you barely made war and you kept so insula’ So when Stalin burned Oslo you EARNED the name Snoreway And now we’ve all been forced into a Nordic 4-way I mean it figures, you’re just some two-bit mod I’m a prime Firaxis, a diplomatic god I’ve got a shit UA and shit UU And I still took Eidsvoll away from you
This is Norway! The axe-wielding lion of the North
Come to foray, on rap battlefield to sally forth
Now that Round One is here, we see through Swedish veneer
And your tears make it clear that we are your worst fear
What’s that in your ears? Sounds like an army of cheers
For we’ve lined your frontiers with a carpet of spears!
Your homeland lays empty; not even a boat
Like your underwrote Vasa, your hype just won’t float
D’you see the ranked vote? Gus, you’ve been demote!
Ain’t much of a gloat to peg your chances: remote!
The one question left now is who’ll make the most gains
See, Hitler and Poland and Finland have laid claims
But this is our moment to claim your domains, for
Our banner maintains: Your losses? Our gains!
Once we take Stockholm, we’ll party; a gala —
And ‘till then, Norwegians will fight to Valhalla!
GERMANY VS ROME
Oh my you've made a mess of things, I'll listen to you rhymes as they ping, off my legions Segmentata, whilst we conquer you lands we call Germania, my empire inspired you Russia and The Ottomans, and the French but we don't want your amends, the Republic owned the Mediterranean, whilst you couldn't even hit Britain, Italy created your policy of Fascism, but your people clearly study absurdism, you might think your Panzers will scare me, but I rap faster than a bullet to the knee, your role model for nationalism is Arminius, shall I introduce you to my Grand Nephew Germanicus, you can bring Beethoven and Mozart, but in a fight they'd be as useless as a fart, as I am Imperator Caesar Divi Filius Augustus, whilst your own gun brought you to justice, now I am a known as man of means, so I'll crucify you and your Nazis across the Alpennes.
Hitler is too busy ranting about civ 5 to respond.
POLAND VS FINLAND
Hey Poland, what's up homie You should hear the shit that Stalin told me Told me bout your stuggles in settling cities and that you can't forward settle Germany Ya gonna get eliminated that's for sure Got four better civs, knocking at your door The only balls ya got are comics gonna disappear like the supersonics we dealing with the nazis and Huns but they can bite us while you're getting fucked by Leonidas Falling through the rankings part after part Folks jumping on the bandwagon now they falling off the cart We be screaming Hakkaa päälle Best that you get out of our way Run back to Hitler no time to delay Polish eagle ain't no bird of prey
Casimir is too busy being STRONK to reply.
SPARTA VS BYZANTIUM
My schedule's pretty tight right now, but I'll try to pen you in Got dinner plans laid out for me in Rome, Warsaw and Berlin. But when I have some time to kill I'll crush you like your kin Cuz everyone knows King Leo is the only Royal you're gonna win! I'll pwn you purple poser, when at war I'm a composer Molon labe with your mother while I loot Constantinople Verses purer than an opal with more vision than a Jew Just ask the mighty legions of rappers than I've slew You are weak, both mind and body, Rap or spear I'll run you through, What more can I say? Even the Champa have pointier sticks than you.
Nice rhymes, Leo, now to put you in the trash, aint nothing that can compete with Alexios’ raps. You’re not special, you’re a glorified barbarian, and you can’t beat me, this empire stretches from Cyprus to the CCCP! You’ve been in more wars than anyone else, yet you got no cities to display on your shelf! You fought against Rome, and that was just fine, EXCEPT A POLISH SCOUT STOPPED YOUR ‘HELL DINE’! Now listen up Leo, and listen up good, your city Sparta? Ha, what a joke. Everything you did? I’m the motherfucker that perfected it. Come to war with me and my people be cheering, I’ll be pumping out spearmen, Byzantium be leering, victory is nearing. Now if you’re gonna come to war with me, look out for a hunchback snitch, unless you wanna die. DEUS VULT, bitch.
USSR VS AYYUBIDS
STRAIGHT OUTTA MOSCOW CRAZY COMMIE NAMED U/NOT_ENOUGH_CHARACTE FROM A GANG CALLED THE BOLSHEVIK PARTY EGYPT IS ON THE HIT LIST LIST FOR LENIN'S TEAM CALL THAT SHIT A PYRAMID SCHEME ALREADY ON YOUR BORDER, IGNORING ANY PLEA WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S CALLED THE RED SEA? SHOOTING UP SULTANS IN MARX'S NAME HE'S GOT THE MOST GANGSTA CLIQUE IN THIS GAME ONE OF US IS A SLAVE, THE OTHER A SLAV NOW HAVE A TASTE OF MY MOLOTOV SOON OVER SINAI WE'LL WAVE THE RED FLAG WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME IN THE GULAG!
Do you know what you’re getting yourself into? We’re not just some nation coming out of the blue. We’re the proud, strong Ayyubid nation, While the man who died of a nosebleed is giving you some forceful liberation. We own a mountain important to everyone from the Jews to the people that are Coptic, While your nation struggles to develop an arrow or an optic. Our cities are known worldwide as the cities for trade and growth, While if you said the same you’d be lying under oath. We’re the pinnacle of the lands of North Africa, While your ranking is worse than every single civilization of North and South America. You’ve probably had quite a bit more than one too many booze, And tales of your incompetence and crudeness are told from Sydney to Santa Cruz. It’s getting quite obvious who the real winner is here, And it’s not the one here ranked on the bottom tier.
CARTHAGE VS ETHIOPIA Look at the elephant, trying to face off against the lion You’re historically and battle royally as big a threat as the Hawaiians In our corner we got god incarnate Haile Selassie! Shooting up shit with his archer carpets and Mehal Sefari As fast as Tpang builds hype and throws shrimps on his barbie He’s one bad ass emperor, the fucking Lion of Judah! Everybody knows him, from Sydney to Berlin and even Tortuga What’s your leader famous for? Cuz I’m not quite sure That riding some elephants over some hills and then not taking Rome And exiling himself from home Is quite cause for celebration Trying to encourage participation? You’re pathetic, we’ll be kind and quickly storm your capital You’re gonna lose even more cities than fucking Br1 Hannibal! Verse 2 You talk big for someone that couldn’t handle an imperial power Carthage ain’t on no maps, nothing but salt, not even a flower Should have seen us at Adwa, if you wanted to know how to fight an Italian Ethiopia’s as independent as a feminist Battalion What’s wrong, need your elephant give you a kiss? Are you still sad about what happened at Hippo Regius? Look at you getting your ass whooped by fools worshiping a Golden Stool Do we need to get over there and take you back to civ School? Because you’re nothing but glorified elephant drivers Ethiopians are survivors, thrivers, modernizers and decolonizers So spread the word, lock up, lights out, tell your elephants goodnight Because the Lion of Judah is about to take his first bite!
The year is 20 sixty 5, down the valley old Hannibal flies We staunched the ashanti of ejura, a curse we were in the Drumroll war. Hannibal is literally the ice cube of Africa Beating women in conquered cities creating a massacre He may be intellectually bankrupt but he makes it up with the sword Ambitious and dreamy He’ll send the ashanti skyward He’ll turkey slap Ethiopia with his morning wood And they’ll take it like how blacks take police brutality in he hood We may be the Turtle of Africa’s west But we get harbours in every city fuck yeah we’re the best I forget how generic haile Selassie really is He’s an autist, his only lover is his wrist His parents probably think he’s a waste of jizz And I end it here, carthage is open for business!
PERSIA VS MUGHALS
Good Job, you guys took a city,/ But only in part 4. /Truthfully told, you Mughals /just really make me snore. /You're rated high in the rankings, /but the Persians don't really care. /To you we say salaam kqarsalu,/ In english, "hello, fat bear." /Theres only one powerful civ here,/ Its most definitely us, son,/ 'cause before you can upgrade your spearmen to pikes, /we'll be out there shooting our guns.
PERSIA? WHAT A JOKE! ONE OF THE WEAKEST PLAYERS! CAN'T EVEN GET THEIR ARMY TO THE HIMA-FUCKIN'-LAYAS! ACHAEMENID EMPIRE? BULLSHIT YOU WAAAAAY UNDER PAR! YOU'RE EVEN TURTLING HARDER THAN MYAN-FUCKING-MAR! ITS A WELL KNOWN FACT WE GOT A GAME WINNING STRATEGY, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT YOUR EMPIRES A COMPLETE UTTER TRAGEDY? YOU'LL BE MAIMED, ENSLAVED, ET-CET-ER-RA! BET CHU KNOW WHATS COMING NEXT! - DEATH TO PERSIA!
YAKUTIA VS JAPAN
Alright, cut me some slack because I don't do this ever, But, Japan, you're in the midst of a depressing endeavor. If, maybe, you stayed loyal to Oda Nobunaga, You wouldn't be so boring in Part 4 of your saga. You're trying to compete for the most pointiest sticks, But you only seem to have the most littlest dicks. You're tactics are whack, and you're proving to be useless, Quit turtling, you coward, and do something ruthless. You "shot up the Power Rankings like a Tianjin blast," Well, I'm sorry, but that's just Part 2 in the past, And it's a shame, because I like that your start bias is coast, But your performance, so far, has been nothing to boast. Do us all a favor, and send some units to Seoul, So we can all stop thinking you're a worthless asshole. But if I ever see you make your way up to the tundra, Just know that you're not gonna have any fundra.
Meji is too busy turtling harder than turtle ships.
MONGOLIA VS TIBET
Spiritual- my soul is free like Tibet Dalai Lama reaps my advice and respect Unlike Genghis Khan "villainy n death" This pale blue spot not just a skin defect You're horde's nothing but a band of whores I got plenty of Condoms- this means war I can't be stopped, I'm the reincarnate Your swords strict but you betta get ya bars straight I'm all about the peace, in the far east I'll blow you away like a Himalayan breeze Maximize all my religious beliefs You're eyes burn from the holiness that is ME This advice to you should not go unstored Too many wars n whores can make a mind bored Another turn You must grow- shed the sword Or your nation will drop just like ya jaw
(you can listen to a recorded version here!)
I'm the great khan of the mongol hordes I crush foreign lords, clash swords, we go to war I want more, a roar of a battle cry temujin flies up in the sky with air strikes no matter the era, the fuck did you hear? that genghis keshiks fuck you from the rear? I roll through with catapults, landships to nukes but my nomad blood keeps me close to my roots like I won't let city states stand like my clan eliminates bitches from kiev to yuan my battle plan revolves around your destruction my civ's influx of cities grant no fucks son I'm a grandmaster of war, no denial your basic monks stand no chance of survival and when I die boy, your city burns I stand by and fortify my troops, 10HP per turn
(You can listen to a recorded version here!)
CHINA VS VIETNAM
TIME TO STRIDE BACK INTO SOUTHEAST ASIA LOOKIN' A LITTLE ROUGH I'LL CURE WHAT AILS YA
ARRIVE IN THIS SHIT LIKE I DROP NAPALM BOMBS BEEN A ROUGH THOUSAND YEARS FOR THE KINGDOM OF NAM BETTER OFF AS MY COLONY WASN'T THAT COOL? TURN MY BACK FOR TWO SECONDS AND YOU UNDER FRENCH RULE!
YOU FLOW SLOW, SPIT SOFT YOUR RHYMES JUST AIN'T STRONG YOU SURE AIN'T A KING MORE LIKE A DONKEY CONG!
while china raps, vietnam uses it as an oppotunity to take their cities.
BURMA VS PHILIPINES
Oh look, it's Burma, wanting to fight us on demand To be honest, the world thinks of you as West Thailand You had a useless war against Champa, that's a shame But then again, you Indochinese all look the same The 'Pagan Empire' founded Buddhism? Bunch of whacks We'd rather follow the other with hookers and yaks You say of the wrath of Anawrahta: "It's cool, it rocks" We guess you're compensating for your little peacocks Face it, Burma, you don't stand a chance against us now Might as well run to your real capital Naypyitaw The Philippines will bring the End of Your Strife (straight to Rangoon!) Kaba Ma Kyei? Too bad, it starts with your life (with our typhoon!) We'll await your return and feeble comeback, Burma We hope you brought cold water, because we just burned ya!
(You can listen to a recorded version here!)
While Rizal was pooping propaganda about freedom and oppression Anawratha reformed religion, marking out a brand new nation Infrastructure built with patience, intensive agricult'ral changes! So see if you can cross our triple mountain ranges! We've both built canals, but yours is in your capital One measly hypertyphoon and you're outta this battle Your start was so bad Tpang had to give you buffs The result of Rizal's resolve was simply not enough Got colonised twice and lost your surname identities Can't keep your islands from your Chinese enemies What's wrong with you?! Ya like the most eastern Western country! Why don't you come visit Burma to see an Asian society? We have generals who conquered all of Indochina! You're on an stupid puny island so I'm gonna remind ya You need to conquer people to win the Battle Royale There's no way you're ever gonna win with that morale
(you can find a recorded version here!)
KIMBERLEY VS AUSTRALIA
First of all - let me introduce myself I’m the badass muh-fucker From south of ya’ll Jandamarra, he’ll track ya down Put a spear through your leg And a hole in your crown Now Australia – I know you think you’re tough And compared to some, yah you might be rough But I was born to this Bred to this The outback is where I fucking bled for this So come now Australia, It’s time to settle the score For Terra Nullius don’t apply here any more
Austrailia dosn't respond.

These are the first completed verses of the tournament, and I think so far it's been a success! Break open the champagne everybody, we did it! Finally the representatives of each civ can rest for a bit, for now it is the judges turn. The judges will need to PM me their list of winners, and the rappers with the most votes will go through. 37 will become 16, so that means two things.
1) There will be no more byes and,
2) More people will go out this round than previously stated.
Without further ado, time to show the show!
A reminder of the battles:
•Chile(Atlas_Schmatlas) vs Incans (gagging4gags)
•Mayans (thetimelyspoon) vs Buccaneers (MillinerJones)
•Mexico (scully645)vs Texas (SabyZ)
•Blackfoot (Gresskarpai) vs France (ImperialismHo)
•Inuit (IAMA_MadEngineer_AMA) vs Iceland (Wigmaster999)
•Ireland (Blaiz1T) vs England (admiral_ifan)
•Norway (Nestourai) vs Sweden (Copse_Of_Trees)
•Germany (Lumen0602) vs Rome (TFCAliarcy)
•Poland (MaggotInBikini)vs Finland (twinsizewest)
•Sparta (CAPSSMOCK) vs Byzantium (Flarezap)
•USSR (not_enough_characte) vs Ayyubids (Luigiatl)
•Carthage (lol0star) vs Ethiopia (riskyrolf)
•Persia (JCPoly) vs Mughals (radster_x)
•Yakutia (Funhau5) vs Japan (Albinoredguard)
•Mongolia (wasgoodlilma) vs Tibet (Ossmosse)
•China (Protroid) vs Vietnam (SpookyWagons)
•Burma (EmeraldRange) vs Philipines (daniel14253)
•Kimberly (Steve_McKinnon)vs Australia (DecJ21)
•babylons(Mista_Ginger) get a week 1 bye
JUDGES:Mob_cleaner , Night_Man_ , TPangolin , silence_in_samarkand , Kropenfuer
Onwards to the show! oh wait, it seems the babylonians want to rap, even though they have a bye.
BABYLONS "DONT FUCK WITH ME" RAPS:
Even though I got a week one bye,
Thought I might spit verse for fun.
Let all the others know not to try,
Rap against Nebby, you're done.
Lyrics be nuclear like our subs,
Under ice we see you fight.
While you still fighting with spears and clubs,
Be too simple for rhymes I write.
Watch me win Babylon this battle,
I'll be king, call me Royale.
While you all sit and prattle,
I'll be chillin' at Nassau Canal.
In case you didn't hear,
Babylon gonna reiterate.
All you can kiss my rear,
0 out of 10 your raps I rate.
I take all challengers,
Got the battle in the bag.
Don't even need to try to win,
But you? Gag.
So come at me one and all.
Beating you will be a ball.
Got rhymes sharper than Spartan spears,
Already crushin' all my peers.
...
Watch me win Babylon this battle,
I'll be king, call me Royale.
While you all sit and prattle,
I'll be chillin' at Nassau Canal.
CHILE VS INCA:
Your name is gagging4gags, so here's a joke:
Who's only got 6 cities, and a pop that's broke?
Unlike your username suggests, here's to hoping you don't choke
-- Until the Chilean Renaissance when you're still livin' in Baroque!
No need to serve you, Pachacuti,
You're self-servin' like Tutti Frutti
Snipe your terrace farms for booty
O'Higgins, no scope, Call of Duty
Valparaiso should've been ominous,
Prepare for the red white and blue apocalypse
Fuck off Remus, this is Romulus
With failure you've become synonymous
First in military on the continent,
Wreaking havoc on your confidence
Combined with Eva and Brazil's incompetence
The only way we play is dominance.
Hey Chile nice start there - very mountainous,
I guess it's easy to defend but where's your growth?
Well we've got terrace farms but an annoying blot of blue,
So when we've finished feasting we'll grow off you.
Our expansions lookin' better no Colombia in game,
But your position with Argentina is looking quite the same.
Only this time they're lookin' angry and more strong,
I think they'll take your cities, doubt you'll prove me wrong.
Oh look what's that? Do I see Part 5?
Looks like we're gonna eat Brazil alive.
Generating more spots for our UI,
By the time we get to you you'll quickly die.
Your first rap must be some sort of Pre-Columbian artifice
What it lacks in length, it makes up for in artlessness
No food? Fucker we got the Temple of Artemis
As soon we start battle you're gonna wish for an armistice
I did some counting (without using a quipu, mind you)
You've got 25 combat units -- we've got 29 dude
Without including 20 triremes, oh shit, you're so screwed
You don't see our troops? Turn around and LOOK BEHIND YOU
You said you got terrace farms yet I haven't seen one,
Pachacuti's too busy making illegitimate sons?
Our cities unfortified 'cause we don't need 'em to be
Our empire already stretches from sea to shining sea
Eat all you want, 'cause we don't intend to build tall,
Lay off the food, and try and watch your mouth
Better send your bastard sons to man the wall,
'Cause in this part of the world winter comes from the south.
MAYANS VS BUCCANEERS
You think you got the high seas? I’ll put on your fuckin’ knees
You think you’ve got the land lead? I only see a desperate need
To spread your seed Make you into a gentile
And then I’ll defile Your precious canal
We’ll see who’s banal Build your terracotta army
But it ain’t gonna help Cuz Pacal is getting smarmy
You motha-buccin’ whelp When things are getting heady
Got atlatls ready. We gunnin’ for ya Henry
Coming straight from the Port of my plundering spree
We are the 12 sail terror of the Caribbean Sea
We do what we want because a pirate is free
The world's gonna fall to the b u double C
We gonna make the world crunk with our rum and distilleries
Gonna make the world burn with our ships and artillery
Gonna make it rain gold with our treasurer so glittery
Gonna make our opposition walk the plank-- literally
Well rattle your atalatals with our cannons & paddles
Cut you up like cattle win the battle
And take a victory ride through our canal at Panama
It's your apocalypse now, start retirement planning brah.
Congrats! Your first verse! You can make words rhyme!
But you can't retaliate for four hundred year's time!
Yeah you used your great writer It wasn't an exciter
now my fighters Have invaded, burn your palace with a lighter!
I saw your first verse full of land lubber blubber
And I've seen better shit from my poop deck scrubber!
So don't make plans, leave yo calendars blank
Cuz the B-U-double-C's gonna Make you walk the plank!
TEXAS VS MEXICO:
Hey, is that the sound of armies running away?
Well it must be the Mexicans getting bored today!
Let me tell y’all what will happen when you take a rash action
against the Lone-star faction, you get a reaction
that y’all just didn’t expect! We crushed your friends in the east,
but they tried at least but you cannot compete against Sam Houston’s Elite!
You’re next, so before you get wrecked,
y’all better show Texas some respect!
We’ve got Baltimore, Lincoln has lost your war,
but don’t be so quick to rush out the door
so I can make sure y’all get the arrows that y’all paid for!
So have your fun while I finish my steak brisket,
But if y’all want Austin, come and take it!
Benito – you’re too slow,
couldn’t get a good verse so I got another go!
No way you’ll win when y’all can’t repeat the Alamo!
Now go! Run back to your walls,
y’all have no balls, this is where Mexico falls
turn your land in to malls and shit on your legacy!
I need no glitches to put y’all in your ditches
then relax with my bitches on the gulf,
it’s my destiny!
I’m a cowboy, I destroy
stoppin’ invaders is what I enjoy
and so your little ploy ain’t impressin’ me
This is Battle Royale MAKK TWO!
The only loser here IS YOU!
And the when your empire falls and history calls,
the last leader standing will be SAMMY HOU!
BLACKFOOT VS FRANCE
I thought I was gonna rap against the sioux
But no, out of all people i ended up with YOU
Napoleon, famous for being a gnome
Too bad you can’t beat anyone else than Rome
Yeah, run away with your wine and your baguettes
Or else I WILL make sure you’ll have regrets
You want an empire? You’ll have to change yo’ plans
Soon you’ll see black feet all over yo’ lands
Just waiting for the world congress to convene
We’ll make you relive the 18th of June 1815
You know your new city, Neapolis?
Ain’t gonna be long before it’s a fuckin’ necropolis
I’ll do to you what the germans did to Lorraine and Alsace
Next part, to see your empire, you’ll need a magnifying glass!
Yeah, I see you there, Napoleon, trying to abscond
Just admit that you’re way too scared to respond
Just hang around I’ll tell you a story-
But only if you hand me the Louisiana territory!
Once upon a time you ended up on an island
But I’ll never let you come into my land
Yeah there ain’t a single way you can escape
You’ll have plenty of time to eat your thousand-layered Crepe
You guessed it, it’s time for your annihilation
French as you are; immediate capitulation
Make your way for the Blackfoot confederation
We’ll show you how to win a game of Civilization
Hint hint: It involves radiation!
INUIT VS ICELAND
I am Ingolfur Arnarson, leader of the Icelandic vikings
And I’m afraid that my appearance here bodes you some ill tidings
You’d better run and hide in an igloo, pathetic Ekheunik,
‘Cause I might be drinking from your skull at my next Icelandic picnic!
You can’t beat an Icelander at a glorious rap battle
Our UA’s geared towards Great Writing, so spare me all your prattle
Let’s face it, your civ’s basically just the Sioux’s little brother
Compare a rag-tag bunch of seal hunters to me? I’m a Viking warrior!
When you try to cross from the mainland, you’ll meet my longboat fleet
If you forward-settling bastards settle Greenland, you’ll be facing defeat
I believe it’s time for you seal-hunters to cede the lands of snow to us
Or we’ll take them by force and you’ll run away in fear, wuss
The only reason I can conceive that I won’t win this fray
Is if the Sioux get to you first and whip you anyway
Waddup, Iceland, ya gonna get beat
cause you be fucking with the true kings of the ice sheet.
This battles gonna end in our reykjavik-tory.
Your thingstead? Yo your things dead,
our rhymes are straight fire we skalding you,
So we think it's time that you inuksuk our dicks
If crouchin' in on my borders is what I feel Ima club u bitch,
just like a fuckin' seal. You think you come from the land of Ice and Snow?
All you know is how to blow!
Descendants of a Viking King
Destined to become My Bottom Bitch Queen
You came to my land once, tryin' to expand
I bitch slapped you, knocked you down, with my righthand
Selfish, you threw a fit, chickened out, it was neat
It's nice and warm there with those volcanoes for heat
But I will kindle my fires with your peoples feet
Your name is Bullshit, A lie, Deceit
Ingólfr Arnarson ([ˈiŋkoulvʏr̥ ˈartnar̥sɔn])[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Help:IPA_for_Icelandic]
You'll be kissing OurOwnAsses-son
Ingolfur Kissing-your-asses-son?
More like Engulfing Armies-now-son!
Oh, you made me sad, it’s enough to make a grown man cry ;-;
It’s so sad that your rhymes are so pitiful, but I guess, you tried :P
I’m afraid, tiny child, that the #Inuitcan’twinit this time
Since your rapping and rhyming’s so bad that it’s nearly a crime
I mean, look at your rhythm, the beat is bordering insanity
And even then, the only words you use are just so much profanity!
The only thing to save your civ is your massive fanbase
But even those biased fanboys won’t be your saving grace
That’s right, flee in terror from the fleet of Iceland
It’s a shame that my Viking fleet moves fast as the north wind
Even in your own rap you can’t stop yakking about seals
But those blubber-beasts won’t do you no good, get real!
My warriors’ whirling axes make the speed of light wish that it was faster
So please remember as I crush you that Iceland is everybody’s master
I would have killed you last except we’re adjacent alphabetically
So I guess I’ll just kill you first, and look on you sympathetically
Our skaldin raps will melt your icecaps Ingolf your land,
your knecks hanging by a strand
Your homeland volcanic like our raps satanic
We're an iceberg and youre about to go titanic
We'll spit and roast you like souvlaki
man your rhymes are so tacky to beat us you gonna have to get laki
we wear fur coats when we sink your boats
Our ice sheet fleet just cant be beat
You're nothing we confuse you for a store of frozen foods
we live in igloos youre all a load of poos
Iceland? Master? Gonna have to blast you faster
Less land and less population? All a sign of an inferior ice-nation
The Sioux don't threaten us So beat them we will
Then youre gonna have to Blackfoot the bill
Your cities have such stupid names We'll kill,
crush and maim Ingolfur Arnarson, Our raps are arson
Your viking navy not gonna be your saviour
So its time we beat you back to Scandinavia
IRELAND VS ENGLAND
Battle against Ireland? Shit, only one way to go
make a few- well, loads- of jokes about potatoes
You'll be in trouble when my guns are in Dublin
wipe off that smug grin, my subs'll have you unsubbing.
Your rhymes are weak, the famine's hit your brain,
you're not Battle Royale, you're the Hunger Games.
Your army's tame, mine is high and mighty,
making you flighty, straight outta Blighty,
you gonna strike me? I'm asking politely
before I come from York to Cork, fighting
knick knack paddy whack, sipping my tea,
Right after Germany I'll raze your cities,
Now I'm nearly finished, so finish your Guinness,
or whatever piss it is they drink in Limerick
And thank St Patrick, tomorrow's has-been
for all the land I'll take for God and the Queen.
Oh what country is this, England, barely a rival to great Éire,
Are you taking the piss? The Atlantic, not enough to stop our fire,
This marks the end of your empire, Which already leaves nothing of desire,
So what happened to your sun, Seems to have set,
Your own title, You'll need more than your queen, To have it met.
I hear you crying, don't worry pet,
Your nation will be finished quickly, For the love of God don't get upset
Clearly my last verse has got you frantic,
Think Eire's the empire of the Atlantic?,
You're not fire, shit's a pyre, time to panic,
You're going down faster than the Titanic,
Time for England, once more into the breach,
I'll slaughter in Waterford with my Triremes,
So many soldiers I could whip you easily,
You've just got a scout stuck in Mississippi,
You're even more fucked than your economy,
Verses like your potatoes, they so diseased,
But don't worry, soon you'll all be deceased,
cause you fuccbois more than a catholic priest,
Come on then, fuck with the English horde,
We could do with practising on little Leprechauns,
I got so many weapons ready in my forge,
To bitch slap you, for Harry, England and St George.
Grand, now I have to survive another round of your patriotic blabberin',
You're talk of submarines and your gunning machines have nothing to leave me sobbin',
What your queen and country is fit for is nothing more than a clobberin',
No wonder you're already at war, you seem to have not taken the hint,
The second one of your gunmen gets into a fight, poor fella will go off into a sprint,
Go on, mate, have your fucking tea and cake while you can,
Your soldiers can barely get a shot on a stray man, let alone an entire clan,
I'm sure our whole country would rather starve, than bother meeting a hun,
The one time they did, your petty "warriors" were drastically outdone,
Good luck with defending your puny colony of Hastings, and your untimely death by Nazi,
I can't be bothered with even tastings of your shithole called London, your "city" deserves little paparazzi,
Bet you're glad our war hasn't started yet, since your homes will become the result of a Japanese kamikaze,
You're finished before you even started, yet I know one thing-full hearted, you rotting twig,
Wellington didn't belong in a stable of strong horses, he's a fucking pig,
NORWAY VS SWEDEN
Okay y’all… We’re here in Northern Europe for MKII
And I know the fans are hating on me and on you
Now why the distain? It ain’t no mystery
Here in Civilization, fans love their history
Yo, school’s in session (school bell)
Class, today’s subject is TPang’s Battle Royale, MK I (sit up straight Mr. Kropenfuer)
Back then everyone was pissed about Mess-opotamia
Norway was sitting pretty, alone in Scandenavia
Shoulda' been a cinch! You had the whole peninsula
But you barely made war and you kept so insula’
So when Stalin burned Oslo you EARNED the name Snoreway
And now we’ve all been forced into a Nordic 4-way
I mean it figures, you’re just some two-bit mod
I’m a prime Firaxis, a diplomatic god
I’ve got a shit UA and shit UU
And I still took Eidsvoll away from you
This is Norway! The axe-wielding lion of the North
Come to foray, on rap battlefield to sally forth
Now that Round One is here, we see through Swedish veneer
And your tears make it clear that we are your worst fear
What’s that in your ears? Sounds like an army of cheers
For we’ve lined your frontiers with a carpet of spears!
Your homeland lays empty; not even a boat
Like your underwrote Vasa, your hype just won’t float
D’you see the ranked vote? Gus, you’ve been demote!
Ain’t much of a gloat to peg your chances: remote!
The one question left now is who’ll make the most gains
See, Hitler and Poland and Finland have laid claims
But this is our moment to claim your domains, for
Our banner maintains: Your losses? Our gains!
Once we take Stockholm, we’ll party; a gala —
And ‘till then, Norwegians will fight to Valhalla!
GERMANY VS ROME
Oh my you've made a mess of things,
I'll listen to you rhymes as they ping,
off my legions Segmentata,
whilst we conquer you lands we call Germania,
my empire inspired you Russia and The Ottomans,
and the French but we don't want your amends,
the Republic owned the Mediterranean,
whilst you couldn't even hit Britain,
Italy created your policy of Fascism,
but your people clearly study absurdism,
you might think your Panzers will scare me,
but I rap faster than a bullet to the knee,
your role model for nationalism is Arminius,
shall I introduce you to my Grand Nephew Germanicus,
you can bring Beethoven and Mozart,
but in a fight they'd be as useless as a fart,
as I am Imperator Caesar Divi Filius Augustus,
whilst your own gun brought you to justice,
now I am a known as man of means,
so I'll crucify you and your Nazis across the Alpennes.
POLAND VS FINLAND
Hey Poland, what's up homie
You should hear the shit that Stalin
told me Told me bout your stuggles in settling cities
and that you can't forward settle Germany
Ya gonna get eliminated that's for sure
Got four better civs, knocking at your door
The only balls ya got are comics
gonna disappear like the supersonics
we dealing with the nazis and Huns but they can bite us
while you're getting fucked by Leonidas
Falling through the rankings part after part
Folks jumping on the bandwagon now they falling off the cart
We be screaming Hakkaa päälle
Best that you get out of our way
Run back to Hitler no time to delay
Polish eagle ain't no bird of prey
Casimir is too busy being STRONK to reply.
SPARTA VS BYZANTIUM
My schedule's pretty tight right now, but I'll try to pen you in
Got dinner plans laid out for me in Rome, Warsaw and Berlin.
But when I have some time to kill I'll crush you like your kin
Cuz everyone knows King Leo is the only Royal you're gonna win!
I'll pwn you purple poser, when at war I'm a composer
Molon labe with your mother while I loot Constantinople
Verses purer than an opal with more vision than a Jew
Just ask the mighty legions of rappers than I've slew
You are weak, both mind and body, Rap or spear I'll run you through,
What more can I say? Even the Champa have pointier sticks than you.
Nice rhymes, Leo, now to put you in the trash,
aint nothing that can compete with Alexios’ raps.
You’re not special, you’re a glorified barbarian,
and you can’t beat me,
this empire stretches from Cyprus to the CCCP!
You’ve been in more wars than anyone else,
yet you got no cities to display on your shelf!
You fought against Rome, and that was just fine,
EXCEPT A POLISH SCOUT STOPPED YOUR ‘HELL DINE’!
Now listen up Leo, and listen up good,
your city Sparta? Ha, what a joke.
Everything you did? I’m the motherfucker that perfected it.
Come to war with me and my people be cheering,
I’ll be pumping out spearmen, Byzantium be leering,
victory is nearing.
Now if you’re gonna come to war with me, look out for a hunchback snitch,
unless you wanna die. DEUS VULT, bitch.
USSR VS AYYUBIDS
STRAIGHT OUTTA MOSCOW CRAZY COMMIE NAMED U/NOT_ENOUGH_CHARACTE
FROM A GANG CALLED THE BOLSHEVIK PARTY
EGYPT IS ON THE HIT LIST LIST FOR LENIN'S TEAM
CALL THAT SHIT A PYRAMID SCHEME
ALREADY ON YOUR BORDER, IGNORING ANY PLEA
WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S CALLED THE RED SEA?
SHOOTING UP SULTANS IN MARX'S NAME
HE'S GOT THE MOST GANGSTA CLIQUE IN THIS GAME
ONE OF US IS A SLAVE, THE OTHER A SLAV
NOW HAVE A TASTE OF MY MOLOTOV
SOON OVER SINAI WE'LL WAVE THE RED FLAG
WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME IN THE GULAG!
Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?
We’re not just some nation coming out of the blue.
We’re the proud, strong Ayyubid nation,
While the man who died of a nosebleed is giving you some forceful liberation.
We own a mountain important to everyone from the Jews to the people that are Coptic,
While your nation struggles to develop an arrow or an optic.
Our cities are known worldwide as the cities for trade and growth,
While if you said the same you’d be lying under oath.
We’re the pinnacle of the lands of North Africa,
While your ranking is worse than every single civ of North and South America.
You’ve probably had quite a bit more than one too many booze,
And tales of your incompetence and crudeness are told from Sydney to Santa Cruz.
It’s getting quite obvious who the real winner is here,
And it’s not the one here ranked on the bottom tier.
It seems that your lines are simply incorrect,
Since your citizens are shown such neglect.
You let your people fall to the hordes of the east,
Letting them be prepared for a Hunnic feast.
You think we’re going to one of your prison camps,
Then clearly your nation is run by a group of scamps.
We’re in the top third of the nations unlike your “motherland”,
Which managed to be ranked worse than Ireland.
You have no military, no science, no money-
And at this point your situation’s just funny.
We’ll burn your “new” Leningrad to the ground,
And this time you won’t rebound.
The people who are the slaves are the ones in the Soviet Union,
And the Huns would like a little reunion.
CARTHAGE VS ETHIOPIA
Look at the elephant, trying to face off against the lion
You’re historically and battle royally as big a threat as the Hawaiians
In our corner we got god incarnate Haile Selassie!
Shooting up shit with his archer carpets and Mehal Sefari
As fast as Tpang builds hype and throws shrimps on his barbie
He’s one bad ass emperor, the fucking Lion of Judah!
Everybody knows him, from Sydney to Berlin and even Tortuga
What’s your leader famous for? Cuz I’m not quite sure
That riding some elephants over some hills and then not taking Rome
And exiling himself from home Is quite cause for celebration
Trying to encourage participation? You’re pathetic,
we’ll be kind and quickly storm your capital
You’re gonna lose even more cities than fucking Br1 Hannibal!
The year is 20 sixty 5, down the valley old Hannibal flies
We staunched the ashanti of ejura,
a curse we were in the Drumroll war. Hannibal is literally the ice cube of Africa
Beating women in conquered cities creating a massacre
He may be intellectually bankrupt but he makes it up with the sword
Ambitious and dreamy He’ll send the ashanti skyward
He’ll turkey slap Ethiopia with his morning wood
And they’ll take it like how blacks take police brutality in he hood
We may be the Turtle of Africa’s west
But we get harbours in every city fuck yeah we’re the best
I forget how generic haile Selassie really is
He’s an autist, his only lover is his wrist
His parents probably think he’s a waste of jizz
And I end it here, carthage is open for business!
You talk big for someone that couldn’t handle an imperial power
Carthage ain’t on no maps, nothing but salt, not even a flower
Should have seen us at Adwa, if you wanted to know how to fight an Italian
Ethiopia’s as independent as a feminist Battalion
What’s wrong, need your elephant give you a kiss?
Are you still sad about what happened at Hippo Regius?
Look at you getting your ass whooped by fools worshiping a Golden Stool
Do we need to get over there and take you back to civ School?
Because you’re nothing but glorified elephant drivers Ethiopians are survivors,
thrivers, modernizers and decolonizers
So spread the word, lock up, lights out, tell your elephants goodnight
Because the Lion of Judah is about to take his first bite!
PERSIA VS MUGHALS
Good Job, you guys took a city, But only in part 4.
Truthfully told, you Mughals just really make me snore.
You're rated high in the rankings, but the Persians don't really care.
To you we say salaam kqarsalu,In english, "hello, fat bear."
Theres only one powerful civ here, Its most definitely us, son,
'cause before you can upgrade your spearmen to pikes, we'll be out there shooting our guns.
PERSIA? WHAT A JOKE! ONE OF THE WEAKEST PLAYERS!
CAN'T EVEN GET THEIR ARMY TO THE HIMA-FUCKIN'-LAYAS!
ACHAEMENID EMPIRE? BULLSHIT YOU WAAAAAY UNDER PAR!
YOU'RE EVEN TURTLING HARDER THAN MYAN-FUCKING-MAR!
ITS A WELL KNOWN FACT WE GOT A GAME WINNING STRATEGY,
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT YOUR EMPIRES A COMPLETE UTTER TRAGEDY?
YOU'LL BE MAIMED, ENSLAVED, ET-CET-ER-RA!
BET CHU KNOW WHATS COMING NEXT! - DEATH TO PERSIA!
Hey Nice Rap bro, did ya have to yell so loud?
In case you haven't noticed, you're in the middle of a crowd.
I think you'll peak early then fall flat on your face
leaving plenty of room for the persian master race.
Just cuz were under par doesn't mean we have no potential
if you look under the surface, our power is torrential!
We bide our time, just turtling in the shadows,
you have less a chance to win as finding El Dorado.
We'll make an impact in the world,
you'll definitely feel our presence,
darius raised an empire,
while you were brought down to peasants.
We were brought here for a purpose,
no question we'll deliver,
Cuz our flows so cold,
EVEN THE INUIT SHIVER.
From Afghanistan to Hindustan, to PK in between,
We're a cultural powerhouse that'll end your Persian dream.
You're up against a real superpower, it's really quite sad,
We'll stream-roll you worse than the Mongols sacking Baghdad! (backing voice then quickly shouts in the background "U MAAAAD?"
Your golden age will run flat, as soon as our armies attack,
Prepare to watch Persepolis go from golden to ash black.
Better learn how to read a dictionary, go look up assimilation,
It's only a matter of time before your lands are part of our nation
Even your women deserted you, they really loved our dope saris,
They even became our queens...d'ya even remember Mumtaz and Kandahari?
Oh wait I forgot...Y'all were all hiding in a satraps court! ,
While Akbar be banging all your Persian bitches down in his red fort!
Once we've stormed your palace, you'll surrender and plea,
Best pray that we don't sanction you even worse than Khomeini
(insert OOOOoooooooo! Here)
YAKUTIA VS JAPAN
Alright, cut me some slack because I don't do this ever,
But, Japan, you're in the midst of a depressing endeavor.
If, maybe, you stayed loyal to Oda Nobunaga,
You wouldn't be so boring in Part 4 of your saga.
You're trying to compete for the most pointiest sticks,
But you only seem to have the most littlest dicks.
You're tactics are whack, and you're proving to be useless,
Quit turtling, you coward, and do something ruthless.
You "shot up the Power Rankings like a Tianjin blast,"
Well, I'm sorry, but that's just Part 2 in the past,
And it's a shame, because I like that your start bias is coast,
But your performance, so far, has been nothing to boast.
Do us all a favor, and send some units to Seoul,
So we can all stop thinking you're a worthless asshole.
But if I ever see you make your way up to the tundra,
Just know that you're not gonna have any fundra.
Albinoredguard, why are you making this easy?
You didn't submit a verse. Are you trying to tease me?
For that, you should be given an automatic DQ,
But, first, I have some things I'd to like to say to you.
Your flair? Just dump it. You obviously don't want it.
You're lazier than a pothead who just took his eighth blunt hit.
You acted like a clown, except you made your whole team frown,
And, when they see you around, you're gonna get a beat down.
"But I'm sorry! Forgive me! I have an excuse!"
Were you busy letting someone pound your butt hole loose?
I heard Yakutia's Funhau5 is hung like a moose,
Which is why you're gonna struggle passing your next deuce.
I have nothing bad to say about your Emperor Meiji,
He did nothing to induce this atomic, verbal wedgie.
So here are 16 lines that only you deserve.
Remember this as the day your fucking whack ass got served.
MONGOLIA VS TIBET
Spiritual- my soul is free like Tibet
Dalai Lama reaps my advice and respect
Unlike Genghis Khan "villainy n death"
This pale blue spot not just a skin defect
You're horde's nothing but a band of whores
I got plenty of Condoms- this means war
I can't be stopped, I'm the reincarnate
Your swords strict but you betta get ya bars straight
I'm all about the peace, in the far east
I'll blow you away like a Himalayan breeze
Maximize all my religious beliefs
You're eyes burn from the holiness that is ME
This advice to you should not go unstored
Too many wars n whores can make a mind bored
Another turn You must grow- shed the sword
Or your nation will drop just like ya jaw
(you can listen to a recorded version here!)
I'm the great khan of the mongol hordes
I crush foreign lords, clash swords, we go to war
I want more, a roar of a battle cry
temujin flies up in the sky
with air strikes no matter the era, the fuck did you hear?
that genghis keshiks fuck you from the rear?
I roll through with catapults, landships to nukes
but my nomad blood keeps me close to my roots
like I won't let city states stand like my clan
eliminates bitches from kiev to yuan
my battle plan revolves around your destruction
my civ's influx of cities grant no fucks son
I'm a grandmaster of war, no denial
your basic monks stand no chance of survival
and when I die boy, your city burns
I stand by and fortify my troops, 10HP per turn
(You can listen to a recorded version here!)
You're mind's too caught up on war and fights man
Like a 4 year old who just learnt of violence
Grow the FUCK up, put down your Vicodin
It's time for bed, don't you still need a night light Gen?
A right end, KARMA will cut your life short
I see you shat your pants- Yakutsk's got ya hurt
I can see your future- insert burnt yurts
You'll live in poverty a palace of dirt
Genghis Khan a once great warrior lord
Genghis Khan a cunt to be quartered and drawn
I vent this par as I must stop your spawn
So shut the fuck up like I shut down this song
Yeah you could call me a pacifist
No need to pass a fist, I got my words for this
I'd rape your spirit once your life's been pissed
But you'd enjoy it too much you masochist
Jaw dropping? lets be honest that's the least of your problems
your weak prohpets are nothing, I leave no sign of stopping
just try and step up to the steppe, meet keshik arrows
you call yourself holy, well you're hole-y now bro
villainy and death? you're goddamn right
it's my goddamn right, to end your goddamn life
you bring your condoms along, but you're not my type
burn you like ancient tinder, imma leftward swipe
you get bored of war? I guess you don't have the stomach
you cower away in your temples, afraid to leave the summit
while your population plummets since i can never resist
to raid your little nation, complacent and sumbmissive
So you lay your bars down and you think that you're smart
but imma bring this rap "battle" right back to the start
who give's a damn about the fuckin dalai lamas respect?
because even in the future you're just china's pet
CHINA VS VIETNAM
TIME TO STRIDE BACK INTO SOUTHEAST ASIA
LOOKIN' A LITTLE ROUGH I'LL CURE WHAT AILS YA
ARRIVE IN THIS SHIT LIKE I DROP NAPALM BOMBS
BEEN A ROUGH THOUSAND YEARS FOR THE KINGDOM OF NAM
BETTER OFF AS MY COLONY WASN'T THAT COOL?
TURN MY BACK FOR TWO SECONDS AND YOU UNDER FRENCH RULE!
YOU FLOW SLOW, SPIT SOFT YOUR RHYMES JUST AIN'T STRONG
YOU SURE AIN'T A KING MORE LIKE A DONKEY CONG!
YOU STAND THERE HAUGHTY
ACTING LIKE YOU WAS JAPAN
WHILE YOUR ENTIRE CULTURE
WAS SHAPED BY MY HANS
I THINK I SHOULD CALL IT
YOU'RE LOOKIN' KIND OF BEAT
JUST GOT ONE MORE BURN IN ME
THEN MY VICTORY'S COMPLETE
IT'S THE GREATEST CHALLENGE
FOR THIS SICK-SPITTIN' RHYMESMITH
TURNS OUT THERE AIN'T NOTHING
THAT AGENT ORANGE RHYMES WITH!
IF YOU WANNA BATTLE US YOU'LL FIND
MAO JUST TOO LEGIT
YOU CHOSE THE WRONG SIDE
OF THE SINO-SOVIET SPLIT
BURMA VS PHILIPINES
Oh look, it's Burma, wanting to fight us on demand
To be honest, the world thinks of you as West Thailand
You had a useless war against Champa, that's a shame
But then again, you Indochinese all look the same
The 'Pagan Empire' founded Buddhism? Bunch of whacks
We'd rather follow the other with hookers and yaks
You say of the wrath of Anawrahta: "It's cool, it rocks"
We guess you're compensating for your little peacocks
Face it, Burma, you don't stand a chance against us now
Might as well run to your real capital Naypyitaw
The Philippines will bring the End of Your Strife (straight to Rangoon!)
Kaba Ma Kyei? Too bad, it starts with your life (with our typhoon!)
We'll await your return and feeble comeback, Burma
We hope you brought cold water, because we just burned ya!
While Rizal was pooping propaganda about freedom and oppression
Anawratha reformed religion, marking out a brand new nation
Infrastructure built with patience, intensive agricult'ral changes!
So see if you can cross our triple mountain ranges!
We've both built canals, but yours is in your capital
One measly hypertyphoon and you're outta this battle
Your start was so bad Tpang had to give you buffs
The result of Rizal's resolve was simply not enough
Got colonised twice and lost your surname identities
Can't keep your islands from your Chinese enemies
What's wrong with you?! Ya like the most eastern Western country!
Why don't you come visit Burma to see an Asian society?
We have generals who conquered all of Indochina!
You're on an stupid puny island so I'm gonna remind ya
You need to conquer people to win the Battle Royale
There's no way you're ever gonna win with that morale
So I heard your rap, it's entirely a hit-and-miss!
You fail to see what we've mastered in your previous diss!
Spitting shite, agriculture? I'll show you Banaue!
UNESCO Site, making Incans run for their money!
Magellan dared to come with guns and ships at his command;
We impaled that motherfucker for coming to our land!
You've seen the BR update? Your military's trapped tight!
Your empire's ready to taste, Tibet wants a fucking bite!
Let's be real, Afghanistan's the one that'll hit you hard;
Now we all know who is the first empire in the graveyard!
You couldn't hurt the Champa, war's never your thing anyway;
And what you couldn't defend is your settler in Mandalay!
Myanmar, can't handle me-an'-more of these bars, it's a pathetic and pitiful way to lose!
In BR, even when you got into two wars, your UA and UU won't ever be used!
With your dropping and turtling, where now is your leader general?
Gotta go fast, you poor thing, before I crush you like emerald!
Ha! You better switch your style cuz we're a cultural-phile
Burma getting Great Writers when I conquer!
Now I dunno if you know, but my raps so dope
I technically am Burma's Great Writer!
How much more Western can an eastern country get?
I mean your name's Daniel and you got a wierd accent.
While the Philippines did nothing, we warred against the Champa
I mean your nation's looking weak like a 130-year old Grampa.
No one can spell the name of your country. (Kantot!)
So come give Burma investment money! (We're hot!)
And I kid you not that I'll spend it all like a stereotypical Burmese!
Seriously, dude, you need some emotion
Don't you know the hype train's in motion?
this Burma's burning with counter-isolation!
You can't just put on some burnblocking lotion
KIMBERLEY VS AUSTRALIA
First of all - let me introduce myself I’m the badass muh-fucker From south of ya’ll Jandamarra, he’ll track ya down Put a spear through your leg And a hole in your crown Now Australia – I know you think you’re tough And compared to some, yah you might be rough But I was born to this Bred to this The outback is where I fucking bled for this So come now Australia, It’s time to settle the score For Terra Nullius don’t apply here anymore.

World War Two has gone through many interconnected phases, Boer-Sparta, Korea-Mongolia-Yakutia, Sweden Sibir-Finland Boer, and so on and so on. Currently the remaining theaters are Mexico-Buccanneer Texas Australia, Brazil-Chile, The ongoing Australia-Vietnam conflict, and Finally the Boer-Buccaneer Ethiopia Brazil Sibir Conflict. While all these conflicts have had and will have lasting consequences and have already greaty shaped the next 20 parts and beyond, what is being called the Orange containment program Is one of the largest of the conflict, excluding the recent Scandinavian Wars. The four powers closest to the conflict collectively control two continents. This war could bring a superpower to a near unstopable state, and could end many powerfull contestants in the CBR, or it could end the seemingly endless rein of number one seeded civ and bring about new unexpected superpowers. The fronline of this war is an entire continent, and while wars like the Aussie-Kimberly and the South America war were big, nothing can compare to this one. Millions of brave men will die in bloody battle, as their sacrifice determines the fate of Africa-nay, the entire Cyilinder. Here are my thoughts.
Let's start with the theatre that began the African and European theatre of WWII. The Boer war with Sweden has ground to a halt. Swedish troops, after being pushed up the Balkans and into Poland, surged back thanks to a peace agreement with the Finish, pushing the Boers into Sparta and straining their lines. This effort was greatly helped by the Buccaneer entry into the war, but the war in Europe showed something that hadn't been seen the entire game, that civilizations who aren't relativly high in the rankings can defend their lands from the Boer onslaught, and win. That being said, the West African front is not looking well for Morgan. It is much more difficult to defend the open deserts of the Saharah than the forests of Europe. The Bucs, while putting up a valiant effort, will probable loose their holdings in africa. There are simply too few troops to defend the whole front, and too many Boer units to hold off. Nukes will do more damge to the Men in Orange, decimating the population in North Africa and cutting into the carpet, but that will be destructive to both sides, and the brutal reality is that after millions of Bucc and Boer soldiers have been blown off the face of the Earth and The countryside is a fiery hellhole, there will still be hundreds of thousands of Boer troops to take the shattered remains of West Arrrfrica, Whether or not the Boers will take Spain is iffy. The Pirate Navy has complete dominance of the Medditeranean, and has even taken some major ports in the Adriatic. The Boers would also be hard-pressed to simutaneouslyfight a protracted war in Spain while fighting their main enemy, Ethoipia. Ethiopia was quite brave in their declaration of war. Before the fighting really kicked off, even yours truly had hopes of the Ethiopians slaying this goliath of an empire, taking all of North Africa and becoming a power in it's own right. You have to look at the numbers though. The Boers have a massive advantage in mannpower, a big tech league, and a huge advantage in production. These numbers win wars. The conflict is as I said a huge one, with a massive front. The Boer Advance will be slow, but step by step, Ethiopia will crumble. The Boers are better equiped for a long drawn out war. It will probably take longer than any othe African war, but eventually Ethiopia will be unable to replace losses, their air forces will be grounded and their cities reduced to ruble so that when the Boer forces advance the cities will fall quick. Barring anything unexpected, the best Ethiopia can hope for is to peace out before the Boers take their territiory in the Arabia, hopefully giving the now runt state of Ethiopia a chance to expand throught the Middle East before they are finaly silenced by the Boers or Vietnam or Siberia, whoever gets there first. This will be a possible flashpoint for a huge war between 3 superpowers. There are a few possiblilities, however, that might give Ethiopia fans ( Or Boer-Haters) some hope. Brazil has pretty much finished it's war with Chile. If they get serious about sending the entirety of the Brazilian fleet against the Boers, along with many nukes to eat away at the Boer core, and finaly a landing party to force the South Africans to focus on the east. This party would not have to have success-It would just have to disrupt the Boers enough to stop the war effort. However, this would require a certain stratigic skill not yet seen by the Brazilians, and is still fairly unlikely to succeed. Other countries joining the war could make a difference. Austalia or Vietnam could both potentially make an effect, as well as Icland potentially. If Ethiopia is smart, a combination of nuking the hell out of the frontline and beefning up the naval campaign could susspend the Boer war long enough to give Ethiopia time to tech up and stabilize the front line. Any of these scenarios require either immense luck or skill, and it is most likely that the days of the Ethiopia are numbered. It is hard to say what the aftermath will be withouth seeing the rest of the war. We don't know If Paul Kruger will strike into Buccaneer or Brazil South America, or if he will attempt to restart his Balkan campain. Generally though, this war will greatly increase the Boer footprint on the globe. The Boers will likely have no competitors in their own continent, and they will be able to strike out onto other ones, namely Europe. The Bucc's power will contract, but they may be able to focus more on the America's, and potentially make gains against Mexico or Iceland. Brazil will be left with one direction to go: North. The Dominance of the Boers may be short-lived however. These wars most likely started in result of the warmongering penalty of the Boer wars in Sweden, and if the Boers roll over East Africa, More Nations will DOW them, and they will expand until they hit a brick wall, namely Sibir or Vietnam, and find themselves overextended. These wars will define to late game. World Politics will forever change, and the effects of this war will be felt for the rest of the game. This War will bring a new age unto the cylinder. And age born in Fire and Blood

Hi /civbattleroyale! With the battle about to return in full swing, I thought I’d write up a brief summary of the most recent parts. This writeup will be sorted by geographical region, and cover happenings from Parts 29 through 31.
THE AMERICAS North America has seen a number of relevant wars declared in recent parts— the Blackfoot are at war with both Canada and Texas, and the United States is also at war with both powers. That said, none of the belligerents have made significant progress. Canada briefly lost the city of Itazipcho to Blackfoot forces, but reclaimed it the next turn; meanwhile, the Americans have thrown off their forces along the east coast. Really, Canada is getting something of a raw deal; its ostensible ally Texas has provided it very limited assistance in either war.
Central America sees the downfall of the Mayans drawing near; the Hawaiians, longtime peacekeepers in the region, declared war on the Maya and captured Uxmal. This leaves the Maya with only their capital, Palenque, but the Buccaneers went back to war with their age-old foe and have set up melee units outside its gates. In South America, Argentina has been the most targeted civ— it has lost both La Plata and its capital of Buenos Aires to advancing Chilean forces. Meanwhile, Brazil has been harassing Argentina’s northern border, and while they have not made any progress they have still tied up much of the Argentinian army.
EUROPE Part 31, “The Grand Culling,” was so named for the eliminations of two European civs. England, holding out on its Iberian colony of Hastings, finally succumbed to France; meanwhile, Byzantium was flattened by the Finns. However, even after these eliminations, two major wars are still scarring Europe. The Iceland-Ireland war is raging up and down the British Isles; although the Icelandic forces started strong, capturing a number of cities in the north of both islands, Ireland has begun their counteroffensive and reclaimed Cork and Limerick. That said, the abundant Icelandic fleet was last seen surrounding many of Ireland’s coastal cities, so it’s likely a matter of time until more of them fall.
The other major European war is Sweden/Sparta. This war has not seen a large swath of city captures; the only city to flip was Warsaw, which Sweden captured from the Spartans, but Sparta is moving to retake their prize now. Lodz, meanwhile, is hotly contested but still firmly under Spartan control. Sparta has concluded its war with the Ayyubids, meaning it can devote all of its forces to this war, but it has been ten turns since that war drew to a close, so a Spartan second wind is not hugely likely.
AFRICA The Boers have not engaged in any significant wars since their annihilation of the Kongo; however, in part 30, they became the second civ to build aircraft. Should they declare war on another neighbor, the Boer juggernaut is liable to continue its path. The most active part of Africa, however, has been its north; the long-suffering Ayyubids have been at war with Sparta, Arabia, and Carthage all at once. Sparta captured Nicomedia from the Ayyubids without trouble; Dvin and Alexandria each flipped a few times. Dvin is still an Ayyubid possession, but the Spartans kept Alexandria when they declared peace. Meanwhile, the Ayyubids lost Bilbais to the Carthaginians before that war drew to a close. Only the Arabians are still at war with the Ayyubids, and although they have a substantial fleet near the Dvin Canal, they are slow to use it.
MIDDLE EAST The Middle East has been one of the quietest regions in recent parts; Arabia has been sluggishly fighting against the Ayyubids to the west, and Afghanistan snagged the Persian city of Susa in the east, but mostly the name of the game has been irrelevant wars. Maya vs. Israel and Armenia vs. Korea are some of the highlights of odd war declarations to and from the Mideast.
NORTHERN ASIA The Huns, after a lengthy decline, were finally destroyed when Finland captured Viroconium in Part 30. Other than that, Finland has mostly kept quiet in the North Asian sphere; the major war of this region has been USSSibir. For the most part, this war has been a Sibirian snowball of the northernmost Soviet cities; the USSR’s only resistance was a brief recapture of Krasnoyarsk before their arctic navy was overwhelmed. That said, the Soviet heartland has managed to avoid significant damage; only Kharkov fell to Sibirian forces by the end of Part 31.
To the far east of the continent, Yakutia has been continuing its lengthy war against Inuit incursion. This has not been a hugely dramatic war; mostly Igloolik, the natively Inuit city straddling the Kamchatka peninsula, has flipped back and forth. The Yakuts currently control the contested canal. They may even be in position to expand further: Yakutia was the first civilization to build aircraft in Part 30.
SOUTHERN ASIA Vietnam has always been a major player in South Asian warfare, and now is no exception; they are currently fighting two wars, one against Tibet to the west and one against Australia to the east. Against Tibet, Vietnam has been attacking the city of Xigaze, but has only brought it into the yellow. To the east, an Australian fleet has swept up to the Vietnamese coast without much trouble; that said, Vietnam has few coastal cities, and Australia has few land units in the area. This war is not likely to cause serious problems for the Vietnamese.
Another war is currently raging in southern Asia, between two nearly forgettable states: the Mughals and Sri Lanka. No cities have changed hands yet, but Sri Lanka has managed to overcome its technological deficits and destroy a number of Mughal units. If either side can score a solid victory, it has the opportunity to expand into the lands of other weak civs like Burma and Champa; granted, that may be overestimating the AI.
OCEANIA The tenuous peace continues between Australia, the Kimberley, and the Maori. The Maori have denounced the Kimberley, probably sinking a hope of a Maori/Kimberley double team against the Australians; however, Australia does currently have its UU— the Digger— so waiting is likely the best policy anyway.

Please consult the map here. This poll will be open for 3 days.

• Kazakh Region
• Mongol Region
• Korean Region
• Northern Chinese Region
• Southern Chinese Region
• Japanese Region
• Indochinese Region
• Tibetan Region
• Indian Region

The following civs have been suggested already:

Kazakh Region

• Hiram's Uyghurs under Bayanchur Khan
  • UA: Empire of the Nine Clans - 50% less unhappiness from number of cities.
  • UU: Altaic Rider - Replaces horseman. Slightly faster and receives a combat bonus in rough terrain. Has a greater line of sight.
  • UB: Grape Arbor - Replaces circus. Does not require horses and provides food in addition to happiness. Available with Calendar.
• Hiram's Sibir under Kuchum Khan
  • UA: Hit and Run Tactics - All land combat units with the exception of Siege units can move after attacking.
  • UU: Siberian Tatar - Replaces Knight. Ranged attack unit which can move after attacking, ignores terrain cost and has greater combat strength in rough terrain.
  • UB: Yaranga - Replaces Granary. In addition to the yields of the Granary, worked tundra and snow tiles yield 1+ extra food. Available from Agriculture.
• DSJHenninger's Kazakhs under Ablai Khan
  • UA: Nomadic Pastoralists - Founded cities claim nearby flat Plains and Grass tiles without any features and spawn a Sheep, Horse or Cattle resource. Pastures resources are automatically improved.
  • UA: Tolu-Batyr (Horseman) - +3 Strength, Heals an additional 15HP when Fortifying in neutral territory, and 10HP in friendly territory
  • UB: Kïïz Üy (Circus) - No Resource requirements, Provides a free Stable, Trained Mounted Units receive the 'Tulgama' Promotion, granting +15% Combat Strength in Open Terrain

Mongol Region

• Tarcisio's Mongolia under Genghis Khan
  
  • Unique Ability: Conquest of the World - Units have extra strength against cities during golden ages, and they are extended upon capturing a city. Gain +1 Happiness per internal trade route, increased to +2 during golden ages.
  • Unique Unit: Khan - Replaces the Great General. The birth of a Khan triggers a small Golden Age. Has five movement points and heals adjacent units for an additional 15 HP per turn.
  • Unique Unit: Keshik - Has +1 Movement point over the Knight it replaces, and unlike him the Keshik is a ranged unit. Starts with the Great Generals I and Quick study promotions, and has no penalties against cities.
• Senshi's Evenks under Bombongor
  
  • UA: Bugadyl - Defeated units on unimproved or pillaged tiles create temporary Bugadyl Dwellings, which provide FaithIcon Faith and deal a large amount of damage to the next unit to enter the tile. Internal Trade Routes are 50% more effective.
  • UU: Reindeer Archer (Chariot Archer) - Does not require Horses; Does not lose all Movement points upon entering Rough Terrain; Begins with the Woodsman promotion; Grants the Woodsman promotion to stacked civilians; -33% Strength Defensive Strength in Open Terrain
  • UI: Shevenchedek (Unique Improvement) - Unlocked at Philosophy; May only be built on Forests, Tundra or Snow; +2 Food, +1 Faith; +1 Production when built on Tundra or Snow (without Forest); Permanently provides stationed Evenki Missionaries and Inquisitors with the Medic promotion
• Lungora's Khamugs under Jamukha
  
  • UA: The Great Khanate - Pastures yield +1 production. Produce mounted units 15% faster. Gain gold when you declare war.
  • UU: Hawk Riders - Replaces scout. +2 movement. Slightly stronger.
  • UB: Steppe Ger - Replace stables. +10% production on mounted units. +1 culture on horses and sheep. +1 production on horses. 2 maintenance. Unlocks with animal husbandry (no normal bonuses)

Korean Region

• Firaxis' Korea under Sejong
  
  • UA: Scholars of the Jade Hall: +2 Science for all specialists and Great Person tile improvements, receive a tech boost each time a scientific building/Wonder is built in the Korean capital
  • UU: Hwach'a (Trebuchet): extra ranged strength (26 vs. 14), lesser melee strength (11 vs. 12)
  • UU: Turtle Ship (Caravel): extra strength (36 vs. 20)
• Hiram's Yakutia under Tygyn Darkhan
  
  • UA: Riches of the Sakha: Camps and Pastures yield an additional +2 Gold. Toyons are generated 25% faster. Receive a free Toyon upon researching Chivalry.
  • UU: Batas Cavalry (Lancer): starts with the Blitz promotion
  • UU: Toyon (Great General): may build a Toyon's Estate on resources which can be improved by a Pasture or Camp, which claims surrounding territory and yields +4 Gold
• Uighur_Caesar's North Korea under Kim Il-Sung
  
  • UA: Hermit Kingdom - Constructing Citadels triggers WLtK Days. Worked forts extend them. Both yield +2 Culture and +1 Happiness.
  • UU: Koksan (Artillery). +15% Strength if attacking without moving.
  • UB: Propaganda Ministry (Zoo). +1 Happiness and +1 Culture from Great Works during WLtK Day, but reduces Food by 10%. Has a Artist slot.
• Senshi's Manchus under Nurhaci
  
  • UA: Eight Banners: land units are randomly assigned one of eight Banners upon their construction. Units receive additional Combat Strength and Moves when beginning a turn adjacent to a unit of the same Banner.
  • UU: Bannerman (Lancer): is a ranged unit, may Indirect Fire, may attack twice when beginning a turn adjacent to two or more units of the same Banner
  • UU: Green Standard (Musketman): 20% cheaper to produce in cities with a Courthouse, 15% chance to convert enemy units (converted units receive the same banner as the Green Standard)
• Specialize's Silla under Jinheung
  
  • UA: Bone Rank System: whenever a Great Person is born, receive a bonus based off the type of Great Person.
  • UU: Hwarang (Horseman): gains extra strength when stationed next to another Hwarang at the start of the turn, has the Cover I Promotion
  • UB: Cheomseongdae (Garden): +1 Culture, 1 Scientist Specialist Slot, no building requirements

Northern Chinese Region

• Our World's PRC under Mao
  
  • UA: The Long March - Land units generate Culture for moving in enemy territory, increased by every Social Policy tree completed or level 3 Tenet enacted. Units below 33% health receive +1 movement point and double movement in hill tiles.
  • UU: Red Guard - Replaces Rifleman. It is weaker, but yields culture when garrisoned in a city. Upon completing a social policy tree, a Red Guard will spawn another copy of itself nearby.
  • UB: Dahuitang - Replaces Amphitheater. Provides 2 extra Culture over the base yield and has an extra Great Work of Writing slot. When both slots are filled with Chinese works, gain an additional +3 Culture, and +10XP for trained units.
• Tomatekh's Xia under Chancellor Aimerais Li Mei Yu
  
  • UA: Dynastic Cycle: Losing your Capital, constructing a Courthouse in a conquered foreign Capital, or completing a Social Policy tree starts a new Dynasty and provides a new cumulative bonus (requires an Annexed or Settled City).
  • UB: Foundry: Replaces Barracks: 1 Great Work of Art/Artifact Slot which, when filled, provides +2% Culture in the City for every Dynasty progressed.
  • UU: Tuo Ma (Chariot Archer): Nearby Units earn Experience +25% faster. +2 Defense. No Resource Requirement. (-1 Movement).
• Firaxis' Vanilla China under Wu Zetian
  
  • Unique Ability: Art of War: Effectiveness and spawn rate of Great Generals increased.
  • Unique Unit: Chu-Ko-Nu: Requires Machinery Tech, Upgrades to Gatling Gun, Obsolete with Rifling This unit is exactly the same as the Crossbowman it replaces, but can fire twice in a turn. Awesome at defense due to this ability, but great on the offensive as well. They upgrade from Archers and Composite Bowmen and, when upgraded to Gatling Guns later, keep their ability to attack twice in a turn.
  • Unique Building: Paper Maker: Requires Writing Tech Replaces the Library. The Paper Maker apparently sells paper, because it gives +2 gold to the empire as opposed to costing you maintenance like the Library. Each one of these in various cities adds up quite a lot, and gives you more incentive to get them built early.
• Relic's Han under Han Gaozu (note: soon to be released)
  
  • UA: Vassal Kings - When expending a Great Scientist, gain 30-40 influence with all City-States with which you have a Trade Route.
  • UU: Ji - Gains additional defense on rough terrain. Upon killing an enemy unit, gain +5 influence with a random city-state.
  • UB: Silu Yizhan - replaces Caravansary. +50% Science and +1 Culture from Trade Routes.
• Tarcisio's Song under Zhao Kuangyin
  
  • UA: Imperial Examinations - Cities get a free specialist slot; each specialist gains +1 Food.
  • UB: Fire Lancer (Musketman) - built faster wf there are enemies within city limits. Becomes a ranged unit when garrisoned.
  • UU: Junk Ship (Galleass) - has the Great General promotion. +100% defensive Combat Strength and +1 Movement Point if health goes below 50%. Produces gold by passing through trade routes.

Japan

• COF's Ainu under Shakushain
  
  • UA: Iomante. Cities founded on Tundra or Snow produce unique Bear luxuries. Upon units being killed, gain extra yield in the Capital.
  • UU: Matagi - Replaces archer. Weaker but has more movement, generates +1 Food and +1 Culture from unimproved worked animal resources.
  • UB: Heper Set. Replaces Granary. +1 Faith on animal Resources.
• Chrisy's Japan under Nobunaga
  
  • UA: Bushido - Units fight as though they were at full strength even when damaged. +2 Culture from each Atoll, and +1 Culture from Sea Resources.
  • UU: Samurai - Elite Infantry unit of the Medieval and Renaissance. Replaces the Longswordsman. Is initially stronger than the Longswordsman, and starts with Shock I. Gains increased combat after Gunpowder, and the Leadership promotion after Chivalry. Is more expensive to maintain. Can build fishing boats withoug being consumed.
  • UU: Zero - Air Unit designed to launch itself at units. Only the Japanese may build it. This unit has a bonus against other Fighters, as well as all Naval and Land units and does not require Oil. Kills generate Golden Age Points.
• JFD's Japan under Meiji
  
  • UA: Imperial Reverance - Culture and Production bonuses from Golden Ages are doubled. Military Units trained in a Goldenage Golden Age begin with 15 more XP.
  • UU: Daimyo (Great General) - When stationed in a city, increases the starting experience and Production of Melee units. May be expended to begin a Golden Age
  • UU: Mikasa (Battleship) - Unlocked at Replaceable Parts. +25% Strength Combat Strength in friendly territory. During construction, generates Golden Age points (equal to the city's Production output)

Southern Chinese Region

• DSJHenninger's Taiwan under Koxinga
  • UA: Kingdom of Tungning: Naval Ranged Units begin with Siege, experienced Naval Ranged Units gain +1 Range. Coastal cities gain more gold from Trade Routes.
  • UI: Shibazhi Seaport (Seaport) - +1 Production and Gold from Sea Resources, +15% Production for naval units, contains a Merchant Specialist slot
  • UU: War Junk (Privateer) - Faster, Attack bonus, suffers a Defense penalty. May move after attack.
• Hiram's Ryukyu under Shō Hashi
  • UA: Maritime Trade Center- 2 extra trade routes available. Trade routes with other Civilizations or City States yield an additional 2+ Gold. Free Harbor in the Captial.
  • UU: Unique Unit: Pechin- Replaces Great General. Has the ability to discover technology unlike the Great General it replaces.
  • UB: Unique Building: Gusuku - Replaces Castle. Yields +1 Science and provides 1 slot for a Scientist Specialist.
• Scissor's Canton Pirates under Ching Shih
  • UA- San T'iao - Pillaging a trade route gives Golden Age points equal to the Gold pillaged and Coastal cities generate Golden Age points equal to thrice their population. Units built during a Golden age receive the ability to capture defeated units
  • UU- Red Fleet Junk - Renaissance naval Unit. Replaces Privateer. Only the Canton Pirates may build it. Ignores Zone of Control, may move after attacking and may attack twice if adjacent to another unit with the War Junk Promotion
  • UB- Gambling House - The Gambling House is a Renaissance-era building unique to the Canton Pirates, replacing the Zoo. In addition to +3 Happiness, the city it is built it in recieves +5% Gold for each Unemployed Citizen in the city (max 25%)
• JFD's Hong Kong under Victoria (represented by Great Britain)
  • UA: Sun Never Sets - Gain Gold when settling; amount is greater the further from your Capital. Cities on other continents contribute 10% of their Science and Production to your Capital.
  • UU: First-Rate (Frigate) - +30 Production cost, +3 Combat Strength, +5 Ranged Strength, +1 Sight, +20% Defense for adjacent Naval Units
  • UU: Redcoat (Rifleman) - Ignores Terrain Cost, can move through foreign lands without Open Borders
• Tomatekh's Shang under Wu Ding
  
  • UA: Oracle Bones: Great People may sacrifice a Pasture based Resource to receive a random bonus effect* and create a Great Work of Writing** (this consumes both the Unit and the Resource).
  • UU: Ya: Replaces Spearman. +15% Combat Strength if all of your Cities are following the same Religion. Can Capture Great People.
  • UB: Dragon Bone Pit: Replaces Shrine. Contains 1 slot for a Great Work of Writing which, when filled, increases the religious pressure emanating from this City by 20%.

Indochinese Region

• CL's Vietnam under the Trung Sisters
  
  • UA: The Ascending Dragon : Defensive structures within a city increases the spawn rate of Great Writers, Artists and Musicians. Receive +5% Culture and +5% Food in each city for each Social Policy adopted in the Honor Tree.
  • UU: Viet Cong - Gains Invisibility and Double Movement in Forests and Jungles, unlike the Infantry it replaces. However, it also has a combat penalty in open terrain.
  • UB: Water Puppet Theater - Has one slot for a Great Work of Writing. More expensive than the Amphitheater that it replaces, as well as providing an additional point of culture - Great Works contained within a city that has Water Puppet Theater increases a city's Defensive Strength by 5
• Firaxis' Siam under Ramkhamhaeng
  
  • Unique Ability: Father Governs Children Food, Culture, and Faith from Friendly/Allied City-States increased 50%.
  • Unique Unit: Naresuan's Elephant Requires Chivalry, Replaces Knight +50% bonus vs Mounted Units. Loses 1 move (3 total) but has 25 Strength vs 20 of a regular Knight. A 25% increase in Combat Strength.
  • Unique Building: Wat Requires Education, replaces University Gives +3 Culture in addition to regular University Benefits.
• Sukitract's Burma under Anawrahta
  
  • UA: Yama Zatdaw: Receive (100 on Standard) Great Writer Points (GWP) when a city that Burma has never owned is conquered. Conquered cities provide +1 GWP in the Capital or the City which contains the Writer's Guild and produce +2 Culture.
  • UU: Kyundaw Conscript: Replaces the Swordsman. Receives extra Combat Strength (+3) and heals itself (+2 per turn) while inside or adjacent to cities. Bonuses are increased adjacent to enemy cities.
  • UI: Paya: Replaces the Amphitheatre. Contains 1 slot for a Great Work of Writing which, when filled, provides +3 Gold, negating its maintenance cost and essentially providing +2 Gold to the city. +1 Great Person Points towards a Great Writer in the Capital or the city which contains the Writer's Guild. Does not require Monuments to be built.
• EmeraldRange's Burma under Bayinnaung
  
  • UA: Sekyawaddy: Puppetted cities produce 50% less unhappiness and no unhappiness during golden ages. Gain Golden Age Points for conquering cities.
  • UU: White War Elephant (Knight)- Costs 135 Production. Produces culture and golden age points per unit killed.
  • UU: Ahmudan Conscript (Musketman)-Costs 135 Production. A little weaker. Can sacrifice 1 population to gain 2 units immediately.

Tibetan Region

• More Civs' Tibet under Songtsän Gampo
  • UA: Dharma Kings - Mountain tiles yield +1 Food Food and +1 FaithIcon Faith, doubling in cities that follow your Religion Religion. Cities following your religion also generate 10% more religious pressure.
  • UU: Himalayan Cavalry (Knight) +1 Movement when starting a turn on a hill (increases to +2 in friendly territory). Mountains in friendly territory adjacent to a Himalayan Cavalry produce +1 Culture.
  • UB: Chorten - Each religious follower, worked mountain, and Great Work inside the Chorten generate points towards upgrading the Chorten, eventually allowing it to produce greater yields
• DSJHenninger's Nepal under Pratap Malla
  • UA: Malla Affluence - Cannot Produce Buildings, but may purchase them for 33% less Gold Gold. Can convert 25% of Production to Gold and Culture. Buildings in the Capital provide +2 Gold.
  • UB: Durbar Square (Garden) - The Durbar Square is the unique Garden replacement for Pratap Malla's Nepal. It requires no nearby fresh water, but costs twice as much Gold. +5% Gold for every outgoing Traderoute Trade Route in this City. It has a Great Work of Art slot.
  • UU: Chitrakar (Caravan) - May not be Produced, but is created whenever a Great Artist, Writer or Musician is born. Next to being able to form Traderoute Land Trade Routes, Chitrakars generate Culture when in foreign territory (+3). Every three Chitrakars you have increase the number of available Trade Routes by 1 (max. 3).
• Sasquatch's Bhutan under Jigme Singye Wangchuck
  • UA: Druk Tsendhen: 20% of excess Happiness is converted into Faith, increased to 40% with Theology. +1 Local Happiness from Mountains.
  • UU: Dapon: Unique Archer for Bhutan. Provides a 10% Combat Bonus to adjacent Ranged units, may move immediately after purchase, and never goes obsolete.
  • UI: Dzong: Unique Improvement. May only be built on Hills, and not adjacent to another Dzong. +1 Culture, +1 Faith, and +50% Defense, with all of these yields (including Defense) doubled if built next to a Mountain. Dzongs built next to a mountain cannot be removed, but will improve strategic improvements.
• Ryan James' Tocharians (represented by the Sogdians) under Gurak
  • UA: The Road to Samarkand - Trade routes yield +1 great merchant point and +1 science. Gain a small amount of gold per outgoing land trade route whenever a tech is unlocked
  • UU: Sartapao - Replaces the great merchant, gains extra gold from trade missions and is able to found a special version of the Rebat that yields +3 gold, +3 science that can be built anywhere. It also claims tiles like a great general when it does so.
  • UI - Rebat - Unlocked at currency, yields +1 gold, +1 science, +1 food if built adjacent to fresh water. +50% defense for any unit stationed on the tile. Only buildable next to a luxury and not next to another Rebat. When worked, it extends the range of land trade routes by 10% and increases gold from land trade routes by +1 gold (for the city that works them). +1 science at economics. These bonuses also apply to the more powerful Rebat that Sartapao may build.

Indian Region

• More Civs' Maratha under Shivaji
  • UA: Adnyapatra - May expend citizens to purchase infantry units. Upon the discovery of Gunpowder, receive 2 free Sepoys.
  • UU: Sepoy - Replaces Musketmen. Cheaper and weaker than the musketmen
  • UU: Pindari - Replaces Lancer. Receives a bonus against gunpowder units
• More Civs' Mughals under Akbar
  • UA: Architectural Majesty - During Golden Ages every 2 Buildings provide +1 Production and Wonders provide +3 Culture.
  • UU: Farsakh Cannon - Replaces Cannon. Much more powerful, but very weak to melee attacks. Can only move when at full health. The Cannon is also much more expensive to build
  • UB: Qila - Replaces Castle. Provides +2 Tourism after Flight is researched. Provides +1 Golden Age point for every two wonders and 1 for every four buildings in the city. Contains one slot for a Great Work of Art. City must have Walls
• More Civs' India under Gandhi
  • UA: Mother Ganges - Unhappiness from number of Citizens halved. Cities adjacent to rivers receive +5% growth for every religion present in the city
  • UU: Gurkha - Replaces Great War infantry. Stronger, slightly more expensive. Receives a bonus when fighting outside of friendly territory
  • UB: Mandir - Replaces Temple. +1 Faith for every 2 Citizens in the city

Sidenote: I am now ded IRL