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The chances of any male aged 15-39 starting for a team in their national domestic league - an analysis of 11 Leagues.
Yesterday I commented on how you had a 1.43% chance of starting for a domestic Icelandic side if you were a male aged 15-39 using quickmathsTM . It got me thinking about other small nations and the likelihood of starting for a team in your own national league if you’re a man of playing age.
The Assumptions
To get a rough estimate, I need to make several sweeping generalisations. Assumption 1) It’s just men. Despite exceptions like Yuki Nagasato and Ellen Fokkema, I’ll calculate solely from the amount of men in a nation that are between 15-39. Assumption 2) It’s every man. I don’t care if you hate football, if you’ve got a condition preventing you from playing football, or if you’re registered as a citizen of your country but live elsewhere, you’re getting included. Likewise, this means those who live in one nation but are a citizen of another won’t be included. Assumption 3) Starting XIs can only be comprised of 15-39 year olds. I know many 40+ year old players will be out there, but this demographic would match the general career of top footballers. I’ll use population pyramids to get the amount of men in this demographic. Pyramids tend to move in 5 year increments so 15-39 is the most fair range I can think of. Assumption 4) All teams are independent from each other. Inaccurate I know, but if I was calculating for Spain, I’d be counting Barcelona and Barcelona B as two separate clubs. If there is an easy way to separate the reserve teams from the rest, I won't include them (as you’ll see, I’m quite loose with this assumption).
Method
Find out how many men aged 15-39 are in a country. Divide that by the number of teams in their domestic league. Divide that figure by 11. 1 Divided by this answer and multiplied by 100 will give the % chance of a random male aged 15-39 being in the starting 11 for a team any given matchday. Formula: M/T=X X/11=Y 1/Y=Z Z x 100 = % chance. (M = men, T = teams)
Limitations
Lots. I’m not trying to be too serious here. As I’ve said, I’m not factoring in people who can’t play, people who have moved out of the country, players who have come in from a different country etc… Recordkeeping at lower league levels is hard so even the amount of clubs in a league system is a bit shoddy. Some of the population pyramids are marked poorly so I’ll have to guesstimate as best as I can.
Leagues to look at
These are the 11 domestic leagues I’ll look at. Each of these countries/territories are FIFA recognised. Why these 11? They were all on the lower end of FIFA rankings and population number.
Andorra
Faroe Islands
Gibraltar
Liechtenstein
Luxembourg
Monserrat
New Caledonia
San Marino
St.Kitts and Nevis
Tahiti
Turks and Caicos Islands
So, in order from lower to higher chance…
New Caledonia
Linguistically, New Caledonia is almost identical to Nova Scotia. Climatewise, they’re complete (but not polar) opposites. New Caledonia is neither an overseas region nor an overseas collectivity of France but lies in its own legislative niche in the southwest Pacific Ocean. The 70s was their golden age, with a win over New Zealand and scoring 3 against Bulgaria (only to concede 5). More recently they drew 1-1 against Estonia in 2017. Their top division contains 12 teams, with a secondary division which contains up to 13 teams in any given season. A 2019 population pyramid gives me an M number of 54032. M = 54032 T = 25 Chances of starting for a domestic team = 0.51%. My favourite domestic team: AS Magenta. They got to the Oceania Champions League Final in 2005, losing to Sydney FC.
Turks and Caicos Islands
A British overseas territory in the Caribbean, the wonderfully named Cockburn Town is it’s capital (pronounced cohw-burn like it’s Edinburgh Street counterpart). Horatio Nelson suffered a rare defeat of the coast of the islands in the 1780s and John Glenn landed near the islands in 1962 after his first spaceflight. Their national team hasn’t achieved much with only one World Cup qualifying win (which they lost on aggregate in the return leg). Their domestic league has had up to 18 teams in the past, but last season only had 6 in their premier division. This number is fluid so the T number will be between 6-18. A 2018 population pyramid brought the M number to c.12,200 M = 12200 T = 6-18 Chances of starting for a domestic team = 0.54-1.62% My favourite domestic team: If you think Red Bull is bad for corporate branding, 2-time league champions KPMG United FC were a strong team in the mid 2000s. In 2006 they changed their name, and won another league title under the new name PWC Athletic.
Tahiti
Tahiti is the largest island in French Polynesia, but FIFA recognises it as a separate footballing nation. Lyle Lanley famously swindled the town of Springfield and fled toward Tahiti. Before he got there however, he was attacked by the inhabitants of North Haverbrook. Tahiti beat the Cook Islands 30-0 in 1971. You might remember Tahiti from the 2013 confederations cup where they played Spain, Uruguay, and Nigeria. They scored 1 and conceded 24 giving them the worst GD of any national team in any major competition. There are 2 tiers to the Tahiti domestic league, these contain 32 clubs (+14 reserve teams that I won’t count). A population pyramid for Tahiti is impossible to find, as it is a subregion of French Polynesia. Nevertheless, you can be from any of the other islands and still represent Tahiti. This calculation from a 2020 population pyramid gives me an M number of 52931 M = 52931 T = 32 Chances of starting for a domestic team = 0.67% My favourite domestic team: It is a tie between AS Excelsior and AS Dragon. Combining them would give the league a mythical allure.
Luxembourg
Luxembourg have been improving rapidly internationally. They beat Hungary in 2017 and they drew 0-0 with France less than a year before France became world champions. Real glory was bestowed upon them in 1980 they reached the semi-finals of the Indonesian Marah Halim Cup where they eventually lost to a Burmese XI. Luxembourg have 5 tiers in their domestic league. These 5 tiers are home to a massive 104 teams. A 2019 population pyramid shows Luxembourg having 109,701 males in the relevant age bracket. I clearly underestimated Luxembourg’s population. M = 109,701 T = 104 Chances of starting for a domestic team = 1.04% My favourite domestic team: FC Yellow Boys Weiler-la-Tour. What a name. 500pax capacity stadium. They play in the 2nd division which is also known as The Division of Honour. Their primary rivalry is with FC Blue Boys Muhlenbach and FC Red Boys Aspelt with a secondary rivalry against FC Green Boys 77 Harlange-Tarchamps.
Liechtenstein
One of the few double-landlocked countries in the world (they are landlocked as are their bordering countries), Liechtenstein squeezes in between Switzerland and Austria. Their national side signalled the beginning of the end of Jack Charlton’s Irish tenure when they held Ireland to a 0-0 draw in 1995. Ireland went on to get 3 points from a possible 12 and missed out on Euro 96. In 2011 it took until the 97th minute for Scotland to beat Liechtenstein. The 7 football teams that are based in Liechtenstein all play in the Swiss domestic league. This stretches from FC Vaduz in the top division, to FC Schaan who play in the 8th tier. The most recent population pyramid I could find was from 2015. No worries. I’ll calculate the M number from the 10-34 age range here instead of the 15-39. In this way it is a slightly more accurate, but still really flawed figure. This number comes to a suspiciously specific 5473 M = 5473 T = 7 Chances of starting for a domestic team = 1.41% My favourite domestic team: FC Vaduz. I’ve been to Vaduz. It was hot and expensive. While there, I caught a glimpse of Pak Kwang-Ryong, their star striker who has been the North Korean footballer of the year in 2013. Previously he scored against Spurs in 2011.
St.Kitts and Nevis
Saint Kitts and Nevis is a dual island nation in the Caribbean. Neil deGrasse Tyson takes his middle name from his Nevis born grandmother. Founding father of the USA, Alexander Hamilton, was also born on Nevis. As for St Kitts, Marcus Rashford has a Kittitian grandmother. St Kitts and Nevis got to within one round of qualifying for the 2006 World Cup and are the only Caribbean side to beat a European team, when they defeated Andorra in 2015. The Saint Kitts and Nevis domestic league is split across two tiers and I can find evidence of 14 teams. A 2018 population pyramid gives me a rough M number of 9,700. M = 9700 T = 14 Chances of starting for a domestic team = 1.59% My favourite domestic team: Village Superstars FC. The 7 times league champions have earned their title.
Andorra
Nestled in the Pyrenees, the Andorran national side are the perennial whipping boys of every European and World Cup qualifying cycle. In 2001 they took the lead against Ireland (but conceded 2 in the next two minutes). Albania and Hungary are among the teams that have lost to Andorra previously. Domestically, clubs play in the Primera and Segona Divisió. I found many defunct clubs but from what I can see, there are currently 18 active clubs in Andorra The most recent population pyramid I could find was from 2018. Using this data, I calculated that there are c.11,900 males aged 15-39 in Andorra. M = 11900 T = 18 Chances of starting for a domestic team = 1.66% My favourite domestic team: FC Andorra. The biggest side. Based in the capital. Named after the country but have never played in the domestic league. They play in Spain. They weren’t included in the calculation.
Faroe Islands
The Faroe Islands did the double over Greece in Euro 2016 qualifying. They’ve also beaten Iceland and Lithuania in the past. The beautiful rugged North Atlantic archipelago voted for independence in 1946 but this result was annulled by the Danes. 2 years later they were granted extensive home rule. Like Andorra, there are 18 official clubs (There are 4 divisions in Andorra with the bottom ones being exclusively populated by reserve teams. I’ve only counted non-reserve teams in brazen defiance of my 4th assumption). Again, the most recent population pyramid was from 2018. I found c.8800 15-39 year old males. M = 8800 T = 18 Chances of starting for a domestic team = 2.25% My favourite domestic team: B36 Tórshavn. A great run saw them reach the 3rd qualifying round of the Europa League this season, eventually losing out to CSKA Sofia
Gibraltar
Gibraltar has been a FIFA member since 2016. They’ve beaten Armenia, Latvia, Liechtenstein, and San Marino since becoming FIFA members. Their 2 tier national league is currently home to 17 clubs (2 recently disbanded). Their 2018 population pyramid showed roughly 5600 eligible males living in Gibraltar. M = 5600 T = 17 Chances of starting for a domestic team = 3.34% My favourite domestic team: Lincoln Red Imps. They went 1,959 days unbeaten in the domestic league from 2009-2014. Followed up in 2016 with a win over Celtic. Not content with only one Old Firm scalp, they played Rangers this season but got smashed 5-0.
San Marino
One of two states completely enveloped by Italy, San Marino will be remembered for their 1993 match against England when they scored after 8.3 seconds and then went on to concede 7. On the other end of the 90 minutes, they scored an 87th minute equaliser against Ireland only to concede again in the 95th minute in 2007. Turkey, Latvia, Liechtenstein, Gibraltar, and Estonia are the only teams to have ever dropped points against San Marino. A 1-0 win over Liechtenstein in a 2004 friendly remains their only win to date. The league system in San Marino comprises of 15 teams in two conferences (there is no relegation/promotion). The Sammarinese league is rated 55/55 regarding UEFA Coefficients. I found a 2016 population pyramid, so like Liechtenstein, I shifted the data to 10-34 year olds for this M number. The number here was c.4800 M = 4800 T = 15 Chances of starting for a domestic team = 3.44% chance My favourite domestic team: A.S. San Giovanni. The only team from San Marino that has never won anything domestically. They have a downright wacky poorly translated history on Wikipedia which only endeared them to me more.
Monserrat
A volcanic British Overseas Territory in the Caribbean. Due to huge eruptions that started in 1995, more than half of the island is uninhabitable. Many indentured Irish servants were brought to Monserrat which has left a noticeable impression on the demographics of the island. Riley, O'Brien, Farrell, Ryan, and Meade are some of the more prominent surnames on Monserrat. The 'Black Irish' of Monserrat is something that has often beenreported on. Monserrat routinely featured at the foot of the FIFA rankings for many years. On the day of the 2002 World Cup Final, Monserrat played Bhutan in what was called ‘The Other World Cup Final’ as it was between the two bottom ranked sides. Bhutan won 4-0 which was their first ever international win. Monserrat has had an unstable league system due to constant volcanic eruptions. Teams come and go quite frequently. There are at least 5 times and at most 12, so the T number will be 5-12 With a tiny population, the Monserrat M number is only 1240. M = 1240 T = 5-12 Chances of starting for a domestic team: 4.44%-9.68% My favourite domestic team: Oh the Montserratian team names are amazing. Montserrat Volcano Observatory Tremors or the Seven Day Adventists Trendsetters would be my top picks.
Bonus
The Vatican City
The not FIFA recognised, home to so many skewed per capita records, I thought I’d include the Vatican just out of curiosity. The Vatican actually has an internal domestic league, The Vatican City Championship, with 8 teams. The teams are comprised between the staff of the police, the newspapers, the library, and other administrative bodies. The pope is yet to line up for any of the sides. The league also has a cup competition, The Vatican Supercoppa The only population pyramid I found was poor and unsourced. As there are minimal women living in the Vatican, It’s safe to assume almost all of the 825 residents are male. As it’s difficult to find age breakdowns, I’ll include every person living in the Vatican as my M number. M = 825 T = 8 Chances of starting for a domestic team = 10.70% TL;DR
Domestic League
% chance
New Caledonia
0.51
Turks and Caicos Islands
0.54-1.62
Tahiti
0.67
Luxembourg
1.04
Liechtenstein
1.41
St.Kitts and Nevis
1.59
Andorra
1.66
Faroe Islands
2.25
Gibraltar
3.34
San Marino
3.44
Monserrat
4.44-9.68
The Vatican1
10.70
1 Not FIFA recognized.
Conclusion
Want your son to have the best chance of being in a starting XI? You better move to Monserrat. If you’re European and don’t want to move too far maybe San Marino is your best bet. Of course if you were just looking to get into a matchday squad,you could roughly double the percentage. There are around 200 countries in the world and I only looked at 5% of them. I’m sure there are other ones with better ratios out there but quite frankly, I’m too lazy. Thanks for reading! Sources: Population pyramids: https://www.populationpyramid.net/ https://www.theodora.com/ Club numbers: www.wikipedia.org for general info and then the citations on wikipedia for a more detailed look. https://int.soccerway.com/ www.FIFA.com
[Eurovision] Spain in the late 2000's: El Chiki Chiki and the next years, or how an internet meme became one of the most memorable acts in history and broke Spain's spirit forever.
Oh yeah. If you have seen the comments of my previous post, the most common comment in all of them is "Where is El Chiki Chiki?", and if you don't follow Eurovision you must already be wondering what the hell is that and why people request it so much. Buckle up, you're about to find out. Here's the usual glossary for those who haven't been following this:
Eurovision: The Gay Olympics An international music contest in which most countries in Europe and some not in Europe take part.
EBU: European Broadcasting Union, an international body made by many national broadcasters that organizes Eurovision and sets its rules.
TVE - Radiotelevisión Española, the Spanish national broadcasters that represents Spain at Eurovision.
Juries: Panels of alleged music experts who vote, both in Eurovision and in national finals.
Televote: Vote by the public, usually done by phone/SMS and in some cases by internet, both in Eurovision and in national finals.
National final: A televised show in which a national broadcaster selects their representative, usually with vote by the public.
The setup So I already told you how Spain is the only country with 100% victory drama in the sixties and a bit of miscelaneous drama in the next three decades. And then it came the early two thousands, and they got their hearts broken in 2002 when, after hyping themselves believing that Rosa would win or place very close to the top she only placed seventh and from then on the placements of Spain went steadily downhill, and the Spanish public became convinced that Eurovision was a big joke, that Spain would never do well and that basically it wasn't worth the effort. Here we will deal with the next three years, and if you want a heads up, what happened here was what would happen if the Trump electoral campaigns were an Eurovision country. 2008: Or why letting internet trolls pick your national representatives is not a good idea In 2008, Spain decided to hold a national final to chose their representative in Eurovision. The title was, Salvemos Eurovisión, which translates as "Miraculously we found a fuck to give but it's probably the last one" "Let's save Eurovision", just so you can gauge how their spirits were. And they decided to hold their national final, for the first time ever, via the internet. Now, you need to remember that 2008 was twelve years ago and the internet back then was radically different from what it's now. Reddit was less popular than Digg, Yahoo was worth money, Chrome didn't exist and this was the most watched video on Youtube. For social media, Facebook was still only a blip on the radar and TVE decided to use MySpace for the national final. (If you don't know what that is, ask your parents). TVE set up a platform on MySpace in which any artist could submit a song and anyone in Spain could vote. The five songs with the most votes and five more picked by a jury would qualify to a televised final. They received a grand total of 536 songs from all over Spain. (Amongst them La Revolución Sexual from La Casa Azul which is how I discovered Eurovision, so you can blame them for this post if you want). One of these online entries was El Chiki Chiki by Rodolfo Chikilicuatre. This is very blatantly a joke entry. Besides being intentionally performed badly, it parodies reguetón music that was pretty in at the time and mocks some iconic dance steps (el brikidans, el cruzaíto, el maiquelyaison and el robocó). But there's more: The lyrics make barely veiled references to the prime minister of Spain José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, the opposition leader Mariano Rajoy, president of Venezuela Hugo Chávez and an the time the Spanish King told him to shut the fuck up in an international summit. In theory, this is all political commentary that is against the rules of Eurovision, and somehow TVE accepted it. Another point of controversy was that Chikilicuatre was a comic character (The real name of the guy is David Fernández and you're not going to remember it just like I don't) created for a late night show that promoted his song heavily and whose host called his public to vote for him. Other contestants protested, saying that he was getting an unfair amount of promotion, but TVE told them tough luck, maybe they should have thought of becoming friends with a late night host too. And then, enter the next big player: Forocoches. Although its name is an allusion to cars, Forocoches was an internet forum with very little moderation and a high propensity for trolling, that kind of was the closest thing Spain had to a native version of 4chan (you already can see where this is going, right?) and they decided it would be a hilarious joke to vote the song and make it go to Eurovision. They started voting for Chikilicuatre en masse and between this and the tv promotion he shot up to the top of the voting. Then there was a fallout between the trolls. The users of Forocoches were expecting some acknowledgement from the show and its host (they were allies, after all), and when they didn't get it they decided to divert their efforts to an even more trollish act: Antonio el Gato with "La Bicicletera", which is either an amazing example of abstract dubstep or one of the worst songs ever. El Gato shot from 300 votes to over 80,000 in two days and TVE decided that maybe letting internet votes be manipulated was not a good idea. They disqualified El Gato, but they kept Chikilicuatre. So Chikilicuatre and Forocoches were pretty much stuck with each other. He won the online voting round and then he also won the public vote in the final and not even by a slim margin: In total he got 60 points versus 48 of runner up Coral. This wasn't just a TV show promoting him or just internet trolls voting for him. This was a majority of the public deciding to send him because they were done with Eurovision and sending a joke act to laugh at Europe and tell them how little they cared. They were not the first country to do that nor they would be the last, it's all part of the game. Now, the lyrics have a lot of politics which is is a big no in Eurovision, so obviously they would have to sanitize them for Eurovision. Of course. LOL, NO. The final version had some lyrics rewritten to add fake English, but the only political allusion that was removed was Hugo Chavez. Anything else was still there and somehow the EBU let it pass because it was in a language that a majority of Europe wouldn't understand. The rest of the act had been taken up to eleven, including playing a toy guitar at the beginning, a backing singer pretending to fall and flashing her underwear to the audience, a mock crucifixion with Chikilicuatre held in the air by his backing singers... He was going full force troll act. I personally don't like it, but I have to admit that as a joke act it's VERY effective. You don't need to understand the language to be in the joke, you just have to watch it, and it's pretty memorable. At that time the scores in Eurovision were 100% televote and the public responded... comparatively well to it, taking it to sixteenth place in a field of twenty-five. Is it a good place? Meh, not really. He was barely avoiding the lower third of the score table. But is it a good place for the expectations about him? Hell yeah! And not only that, it was the best place Spain had in four years and precisely when they were trying to avoid it. Just like Rosa's relative failure did six years before, Chikilicuatre's relative success had a big impact in the Spanish psyche and giving the same exact message: Eurovision was not worth taking seriously. Just look at this! A serious act with all their effort behind it had only placed seventh, while a troll act full of disdain had managed to place sixteenth! Why try hard or even try at all, if phoning it in you didn't risk disappointment and could actually end up in better spirits? (Since people recall better their feelings than the facts that caused them, a decade later some people actually believe that Chikilicuatre placed higher than Rosa) The top performers of the year didn't help: The winner for Russia brought his own ice rink and an Olympic skater to dance on it (And for reference, this is the same guy that two years earlier had brought a piano with a ghost woman and to ballerinas ) Ukraine managed to give boners to both gay and straight dudes wit a Swarowski-clad diva climbing a translucent wall (No, really, watch that. It's probably the ultimate 2000's Eurovision act. We PEAKED there, people) and Greece rounded the top three with a pop-up book slightly smaller than my living room. They're all very over the top, flashy acts with that are at least as focused on the show as on the song, if not more, and also Russia, Ukraine and Greece belong to strong voting blocs (Former Soviets and Balkans, respectively), so this continued reinforcing the perception of Eurovision as a joke. And... well, that's the story of how Spain lost the last fuck they had to give, by having a very successful joke that went better than expected. Positive reinforcement is a hell of a drug. And that, kids, is why internet trolls shouldn't be allowed to weigh in real world decisions. 2009: They stole our votes! The next year Spain organized again a national final, titled "Eurovisión: El retorno" (That translates as "Eurovision: The return" but pretend it doesn't. It was bullshit and everyone knew it). The format was pretty similar, with first an online round (With a whopping 978 songs) from which the public chose 20 and after adding more songs from a jury and three semifinals, twelve songs faced each in the final. This year there were no troll shenanigans and the national final was shaping up pretty smoothly until the first semifinal. At the end it came down to two rather similar acts: Soraya with La Noche es Para Mí and Melody with Amante de la Luna. (If they seem a bit similar to two of the top three of last year is because they are. Spain has talent to find what works in Eurovision after it worked). Melody was in a partnership with Los Vivancos, a group of dancers known for mixing Spanish folk dance with stripping onstage. The kind of things the Eurovision public likes. Four days after the first semifinal in which they competed and qualified, they decided that the stage was too small, the audio was bad, the video was bad, and that what was supposed to be an equal partnership between them and Melody was being treated in media as if they were only her backup dancers. With only ten days left to the final, they announced they were dropping out and left melody scrambling to find a replacement group of dancers. Which she did. And at the end her performance was not that bad. They even had the pecs and everything. Melody won the juries and placed second in the televote, and Soraya placed second in the juries and won the televote, and since the tiebreaker was the televote she was chosen as Spain's representative. Her song, by the way, had been composed in Greek two years earlier and had been rejected by three artists before she took it, had it rewritten in Spanish and released it, and urged by her fans she entered it to the online voting two hours before the deadline. (It was eligible since none of the other artists released it commercially). Now, I'm not saying anything, but maybe if three artists already rejected your song you should take a step back and reconsider if you really want it... The Spanish fans, of course, started hyping it because that's what they do. It was a powerful song, it would be rewritten to make it even more powerful, Greece would vote for Spain because the original composers of the song were Greek, Sweden would vote for Spain because Soraya's boyfriend was a Swede... and I'm not kidding, this is what some of them said, forgetting that the people who care about this kind of details is a minuscule fraction of the total voters who only care about the song and only hear it on Eurovision night. And Soraya fed them. She promised the fans an amazing show, in which they (I quote) "would see butterflies instead of eyes" and they would have "an amazing concept never seen in Eurovision". What did they get instead? Smoky eyes and a disappearing trick with a piece of orange fabric.. (You can click here for the part of the trick). It wasn't bad, but... ok, yes, it was bad. Particularly because of the fabric. You could see the seams, literally and figuratively, and at the end she just moved a couple meters to the left and the camerawork didn't help to hide it. In 2009 juries were back and left her dead last, while televote left her slightly higher and the combined votes put her in second last position, 24 out of 25. Spain had placed last before but it had been with less countries competing, and in absolute terms this was Spain's lowest position ever. But let's go back in time to several weeks before the contest: Spain was originally planned to broadcast the first semifinal on Tuesday and vote on it (although they were not competing in the semifinal due to being automatically qualified to the final), and because of some to some internal issues by TVE they requested to switch to the second semifinal on Thursday. This was already a problem because two of Spain's neighbors (Portugal and Andorra) were in the first semifinal and they would miss the chance of some sweet neighborly votes. Both countries protested but EBU accepted it, although with some reluctance. At the end Portugal qualified and Andorra placed so low that getting votes from Spain would have made no difference, but anyway... Now, the Madrid Open on tennis was also happening on Thursday a few hours before than the second semifinal and TVE was already commited to show it, and when one of the Thursday matches went into overtime and started eating the time on the semifinal, TVE decided to continue showing it because they gauged that Spaniards cared more about tennis than about Eurovision. They later played the semifinal with a one-hour delay, and instead of using public vote and juries they used only the jury votes. Most of the countries taking part on the semifinal complained and for very valid reasons: Semifinals are a way for the European public to get a first contact with the songs competing, and a lot of the Spanish public missed this chance because a rerun is not as exciting as a live event, so the countries that qualified to the final would miss an advantage on the final that they should have had (It's not THAT unfair: From the countries not competing in the semifinals, Germany and UK were showing the first semifinal, and France and Russia showed the second semifinal, so each semifinal's qualifiers would have an advantage with those particular countries). And it was even worse for the countries that did not qualify, since they missed the only chance to show to the Spanish public their songs (including these masterpieces about a shoe and a traffic jam because this is fucking Eurovision). Now, one of the purposes of Eurovision, particularly for small countries without that much tourism, is simply to remind their existence to the rest of Europe and increase their regional presence, so cutting the chance to do this in one of the biggest markets in Europe was a big deal and none of the countries in the second semifinal were particularly happy with Spain. So, the Spanish fans came up with an alternative explanation for their low placing: All these countries were angry and agreed not to vote for Spain to punish them and... No, I'm just kidding. THAT would have made sense. The explanation they created was that Soraya had actually placed in the top 10 but EBU wanted to punish Spain for the delayed broadcast and had lowered their score by a hundred points. Never mind the fact that this would require rewriting the votes of at least a dozen countries and probably more, while the vote was happening, that it would have affected the standing of all other entries in the final, and that this could be solved simply with a fine. Hardcore fans who are more privy with how Eurovision works will say this ironically, but some of the average Spaniards honestly believe this. And a second explanation, that made so much noise that it was even echoed by one of the major TV channels in Spain, was that this was all on purpose. Spain knew that Soraya had high chances to win and they didn't want to deal with the expense of hosting the contest next year, so they had intentionally delayed the broadcast of the semifinal to make other countries angry at them and force EBU to punish them to make sure they didn't win. (Nevermind the fact that Alexander Rybak with Fairytale had been the red hot favorite for months and basically had the victory in the bag since he was selected to represent Norway, and that the winner hosting is a tradition but not mandatory) 5D chess, everyone! Then Spain sued Norway in the Supreme Court of Europe asking to remove their win... wait, wrong year and continent. My bad. 2010: Because having internet trolls influence your choices once was not bad enough. In 2010, Spain did again a national final in two parts, first an online selection titled OH GOD WHO CARES THEY CHANGE THE NAME EVERY YEAR "Eurovisión: Tu país te necesita" (Translates as "Eurovision: Your country needs you") and then a televised final. The online process was rife with irregularities. Even if TVE said that joke entries would be avoided because they didn't want another Chikilicuatre, there was a lot of them. The frontrunner of the votes, Karmele with Soy un Tsunami, was disqualified in late January. I think this is the song and if it is, it probably was disqualified for having lyrics mentioning the Spanish claims over Gibraltar, for mentioning commercial brands and for plagiarizing an old francoist song. She threw a tantrum, but there was not that much she could do. Chimo Bayo, who was in third place in the votes with La Fiesta del Fuego was disqualified as well for having been released in pubs before the required deadline of October 1st. Although another most probable reason was because he had close ties to competitor channels to TVE (some other songs with limited releases have been able to compete). Two other acts were also disqualified. Then El Pezón Rojo (That translates as "The red nipple") shot to the top of the votes with Y yo tan sexy, and twelve days later they were disqualified as well because their song had been aired in a podcast two years earlier. Three other acts were also disqualified. The online voting phase ended three days later and ten songs passed to the televised final, Destination Oslo. A lot of things have been gone from the internet in these ten years, so please excuse me for getting third hand reports about the whole thing, but apparently what happened here is that Forocoches had originally supported Chimo Bayo, and when he got disqualified they decided to boost the worst act they could find and their pick was John Cobra with Carol. I don't really like Chikilicuatre, but I have to admit it's a well conceived comedic act and it requires a lot of talent to successfully pull it off. John Cobra was just not that at all. It's not well conceived and it doesn't require or show any talent. Despite TVE's assurances that they would not allow troll acts, somehow John Cobra slipped through their filters and when the online voting finished he was on second place and passed to the televised final. And he made an absolute shitshow then: Allegedly, some members of Forocoches in the public booed him because they had asked him to wear a t-shirt with the logo of Forocoches and he failed to do it. The rest of the public booed him simply because he was just awful. His response was grabbing his crotch and shout at the public to suck his dick, on live TV. The presenter spent several minutes scolding him like a kindergardener and trying to get him to shut up just so she could continue with the show while he alternated between aggressively requesting a blowjob from his haters, aggressively thanking Forocoches and aggressively interrupting the judges when they were giving him their opinions, until one of the judges shut him down and told him that his attitude disqualified him to be in music forever. This got probably the loudest applause of the night. The presenter had to apologize twice for his attitude to the public and the viewers, once in the moment and another before announcing the winner, calling him "shameful". You can see the whole nine minute shitshow here or a highlight reel here. Even if you don't speak Spanish it's worth it. Unsurprisingly, he placed last. The winner and Spain's representative was Daniel Diges with Algo Pequeñito, a ballad of a man asking for a small show of love from his partner. The 2008 runner up Coral placed second again just to rub salt on her wounds. The song got a rather meh reception from the Spaniards. It wasn't seen as bad, but it was definitely considered cheesy and boring. But hey, at least it wasn't John Cobra and that was a pretty good quality. (Can anyone say Biden?). And most people disliked his staging, with backing dancers dressed as circus performers (kinda like childhood keepsakes) and pretty nonsensical dancing. But hey, he wasn't John Cobra! The dancing has it's merits, though: Imagine standing in one leg without moving at all during the first minute of the song. Now imagine doing that but in a handstand. That was difficult. But yes, it was creepy. His backing dancers are pretty much out of a child's nightmare. During his performance in Eurovision, a Catalan professional invader that had entered the field of soccer and tennis matches and even the track of a Formula 1 race and had already been arrested for assaulting Roger Federer jumped on the stage and joined the dancers, wearing a traditional Catalan headwear. (I'm intentionally not linking his profile or writing his name, btw). He was onstage for around half a minute until security chased him out, but you can still see him get dragged out in a couple takes after he jumps off the stage. Then when Daniel's backing singer entered the frame as it was planned, some people thought it was the streaker again and were very confused until they realized what was happening. Here you can see the whole thing. In hindsight, this played in Daniel's favor because of how professionally he and his dancers handled it. They didn't miss a beat of the performance even if they had no idea what was happening and this could actually have been dangerous. They were allowed to perform again at the end of the show and this second performance went without interruptions, and Spain eventually placed fifteenth. (This was one position higher than Chikilicuatre, but I bet you no one in the Spanish public remembers it). So yeah, 2010 was the year where trolls had a second chance and almost got it, but in the end, they didn't and everyone gave a sigh of relief. Some other stage invasions, just because. I'm not sure if this was the first stage invasion in Eurovision, but it certainly wasn't the last. Some people asked for this and since it wouldn't merit a post of its own, I will take the chance to write about two other notorious stage invasions: In 2017, when previous year's winner Jamala was performing as an interval act in the final, an Ukrainian guy drapped in an Australian flag jumped onstage and bared his ass and was actually tackled out the stage. He probably was treated much more roughly because political tensions in 2017 Ukraine were much higher than in 2010 Norway and he was deemed a much more serious threat. EBU later uploaded her performance on the rehearsal the day before as the official version. I watched it twice waiting for the mooning moment before realizing what was happening. Shame on me. And in 2018, a British political activist interrupted the performance of Surie, representing United Kingdom, to demand press freedom. They cut to shots of the public while security reduced him and gave Surie back his microphone. I was watching this contest live on a square in Lisbon, btw, but at right that moment I was too busy trying to get into some Irish dude's pants and missed it happening. And I didn't even get the dude. Shame on me. Just like Daniel, Surie was offered the chance to perform again but she declined, saying that she was proud of how she had handled it. (A year later she revealed that it had been pretty traumatic, though, and she actually had to deal with PTSD because of it). And just like Jamala, EBU uploaded the version in the rehearsal of the previous day as the official version, but BBC decided to keep the version with the invasion. Just so we don't miss a year, 2011 2012 was a turning point for Spain, so I want to write about 2011 here to tie things up. There wasn't much drama this year. They changed the format to a show to pick first and foremost artists. Three acts made the national final with each of them being given three songs, and then the most voted song by each artist would go to a final round to be chosen by the public. The winner was Lucía Pérez with "Que me Quiten lo Bailao", a song she really didn't want to perform (She was much more keen of Abrázame, another of her songs). Still, she was stuck with that song and tried to do her best. At the end, Spain placed third from the bottom with 50 points. This is actually a very high score for such a low placing and 2011 had the most even final ever, with the winner scoring only 221 points. As a comparison, in the most uneven final ever in 2015 both songs in the top 2 passed 300 points, a score of 50 would have put her in 12th place, and the third song from the bottom scored only 4 points. Germany was hosting in 2011 and they took LED screens in the background to a new level, and there is an urban legend that Spain didn't specify what they wanted on the screens and when they were shown a stereotypical palms and fireworks background they protested, only to be told that it would be either that or exploding pigs. I don't think that's true, but I decide to believe it because it's hilarious. So that's it. I hope you enjoyed it and stay tuned for the 2010's: How Spain kind of got their mojo back and lost it again.
[OC] The "worst" El Clásico in decades? - what to expect from the 245th rendition of football's biggest match-up
soccer's general consensus seems to be that the coming Clásico will be the worst in possibly decades, with both teams going through periods of crisis and/or transition. But El Clásico was, is, and will continue to be the biggest, most renowned matchup in world football, with the two most successful clubs of our generation, FC Barcelona and Real Madrid C.F. facing off for the 245th time (the 181st in La Liga). It's fair to say this match should be on the watchlist of every football fan, so I'm going to give some insights on what to expect for the uninitiated. https://preview.redd.it/nslpljd2cvu51.png?width=1100&format=png&auto=webp&s=f9a964e76ca2a450b4c90980a8249a7b5b1a8956
Statistics and history of El Clásico
Stat
Barcelona
Real Madrid
El Clásico wins
96
96
El Clásico wins in La Liga
72
73
Goals scored in El Clásico
399
405
Top scorer in El Clásico
Lionel Messi (26)
Cristiano Ronaldo and Alfredo Di Stéfano (18)
Most matches played in El Clásico
Lionel Messi (43)
Sergio Ramos (44)
Highest win in El Clásico
7-2 (24/09/1950)
11-1 (19/06/1943)
As you can see, El Clásico is not only a very high-level rivalry, but also an incredibly balanced one, with both teams having the same number of wins in competitive matches (52 draws), with Madrid having a positive goal difference of 6. Whoever is the winner of this Clásico will accordingly be the all-time best team in El Clásico, at least before the two teams meet again in April. Some more fun facts:
The fastest goal in El Clásico was scored by Karim Benzema after 22 seconds in Madrid's 1-3 loss on 10/12/2011
Xavi and Iker Casillas have shared the most matches together on the pitch (36)
The fist Clásico in La Liga was played on February 17, 1929. Madrid won 2-1.
Before last season's 0-0 in Camp Nou, the last Clásico to end in scoreless was on November 23, 2002
This list features every player that has played for both Madrid and Barça at some point.
https://preview.redd.it/v9lkhi2jmvu51.png?width=674&format=png&auto=webp&s=fdef8f71e6ee282fec2f67e69e6720255e416a07 Barcelona vs. Real Madrid is a rivalry that surpasses sporting aspects. In Francoist Spain, Barça was a symbol for local fans to not only express their support for the football club of their city, but also their Catalan identity. The meaning of Barça's club motto, "Més que un club" (= "more than a club"), is likely not what you think it is. To the people of Barcelona and Catalunya, Barça is a symbol of their regional identity, a medium to freely express their beliefs, a safe haven to freely speak their language and to vouch for democracy and the end of Franco's nationalistic regime. To this day, there is overwhelming support by most of Barça's fanbase for the movement of Catalan independence, with their supporters often being left-wing. Madrid on the other hand has always been a symbol of Spanish nationalism, centralism and support for the Spanish monarchy. The club is viewed by its fans as the Spanish King's club, magisterial and full of honour. Most of Madrid's fans are supportive of the Kingdom of Spain and the monarch, some even with right-wing tendencies. They support the idea of a centralist Spain, as opposed to independence of any of the "nacionalidades históricas" (Galicia, Basque country, Catalonia). This stark political contrast has led to clashes in the past. It has also led to last season's Clásico in Camp Nou being postponed. Authorities had to make this decision as they believed the safety of fans (in- and outside the stadium), players and officials wasn't guaranteed at that time due to the wave of protests taking place in Catalonia in October 2019.
Current form, injuries and suspensions, expected lineups
Barcelona's last 5 matches: W (4-0 Villarreal), W (3-0 Celta), D (0-0 Sevilla), L (0-1 Getafe), W (5-1 Ferencváros) Madrid's last 5 matches: W (3-2 Betis), W (1-0 Valladolid), W (2-0 Levante), L (0-1 Cádiz), L (2-3 Shakhtar) Last 5 Clásicos: Barça 1-1 Madrid (Copa 18/19), Madrid 0-3 Barça (Copa 18/19), Madrid 0-1 Barça (La Liga 18/19), Barça 0-0 Madrid (La Liga 19/20), Madrid 2-0 Barça (La Liga 19/20) Players unavailable (Barça): Ter Stegen (injury), Umtiti (fitness), Matheus Fernandes (injury) Players unavailable (Madrid): Carvajal (injury), Odriozola (injury), Ødegaard (injury), Hazard (injury), Mariano (fitness) Expected lineups: Barça: Neto - Alba, Piqué, Lenglet, S. Roberto - De Jong, Busquets - Fati, Coutinho, Dembélé - Messi Neto obviously in goal as MATS is still injured. Alba has been included in the squad after recuperating from an injury, so I expect Koeman to also play him. Alternatives would be Dest and Firpo. I also expect Piqué and Lenglet to be starting, although some Barça fans seem to prefer Araújo over Piqué. Sergi Roberto should make it over Dest. I also don't think either of De Jong or Busquets will be replaced by Pjanić. The biggest uncertainty is whether they start Griezmann as a CF, or Messi, with Coutinho at CAM. I personally think it's best for a player so out of confidence as Griezmann to start the match on the bench. Madrid: Courtois - Mendy, Ramos, Varane, Nacho - Casemiro, Kroos, Valverde, Isco - Vinícius, Benzema With an undisputed defensive line other than him, Nacho might be replaced by Militao or Vázquez, depending on how ZZ wants his team to play. The midfield 3 will most probably look like this, potentially with Modrić instead of Valverde. Playing Isco is something that I fully expect him to do, as Isco and the 4-1-2-1-2/diamond he brings with him are the "secret weapon" Zidane always reserves for big matches such as Clásicos and UCL finals. Vinicíus should be playing over Jović with the form both of them are in.
Zidane's Clásico tactics
Madrid have had some terrible, terrible results in El Clásico throughout the last decade. 1-5, 0-4, 0-5, 2-6... under Zidane though, their record against Barça has been remarkable (4 wins, 2 draws, 2 losses, GD of 14:11). Zidane's Madrid normally play against Barça how they play against every big team: relatively passive. Handing the possession to the opposition, playing zonal marking or man marking high up the pitch instead of actively pressing throughout the whole match, with being effective on the counter through long balls, crosses and fast, line breaking passes, their offensive strategy. Casemiro has been a key piece in not only giving Kroos more playmaking freedom, but also locking down Messi and the half-space between the defensive line and midfield, with Messi "only" scoring 3 non-penalty goals in the last 13 Clásicos since and including Case's iconic performance in 2016's Clásico: https://reddit.com/link/jgt04v/video/ei5n0ciwsvu51/player One of Zidane's essential points of focus is stopping Messi, which can backfire sometimes, like when Kovačić had to man-mark Messi in 2017's 0-3 loss: https://reddit.com/link/jgt04v/video/ro13rio5tvu51/player Zidane loves to use a diamond formation in big matches, and I except him to do so against Barça as well. With Ødegaard out, he will probably try to have Isco draw players on him, creating space for attackers to make runs, ideally looking something like this (excuse my poor MS paint skills): https://preview.redd.it/0nvrwb13vvu51.png?width=1863&format=png&auto=webp&s=5b42a5c468b101abe8eb6726d9b31e8285232e25
Koeman's tactics
We haven't seen much of Koeman's Barça (no Clásico of course) so far, so my tactical analysis will not be very thorough. The formation looks to be permanently switched to a 4-2-3-1, with Messi now having less positional freedom. Having two proper wingers eases the defensive pressure off of the two full backs, while having one central midfielder less will most probably make quickly passing through their midfield easier than before. They still play high-press, possession-based football, but Koeman seems to like giving away some of the possession to the opponent (compared to Valverde and especially Setién), as in 4 of 5 league matches, their possession was only slightly above 50%. Since I lack the material, the tactical knowledge, the dedication and the knowledge about Koeman's Barça to go any further than this, I'm going to link this brilliant and detailed tactical analysis of Barcelona's 3-0 win against Celta posted by u/Andremerlaux in barca for the people that want to dive into a more in-depth analysis of the tactical side of Barça's style of play. Sadly, the only thing I found on realmadrid regarding tactics were memes, so now you have to look at the abomination of a tactical analysis of mine.
5 reasons Barça is going to win
Leo Messi - we've probably all experienced the little magician's otherworldly touch at some point in our life as a football fan. There's little explaining to do, on a good day, Leo Messi can decide matches on his own. The last time this happened was in the 2nd Clásico of 2016/17, where Messi scored 2 and made THAT celebration, so it might be time for another Messi masterclass against Madrid by now. https://preview.redd.it/vsdmucrdzvu51.png?width=761&format=png&auto=webp&s=d80cef34ce6d71a977ca44db2f0e4fe8dd6514b5 Madrid are having trouble scoring - Real Madrid are having massive trouble getting their players into goalscoring positions, and even then, Jović, Vinícius and co. often fail to finish the job. Post-restart, they've only scored 1,65 goals per game on average, extremely sub-par for their standards. If Barça score 1 or 2 goals, chances are high they're also winning. Playing at Camp Nou - Camp Nou has been an absolute fortress over the last decade. In the 2010s, Barça only lost 9 matches at home in La Liga (Source), and since their loss against Betis in November 2018, they went unbeaten for all of 2019 in all competitions at Camp Nou before finally losing again to Osasuna in July 2020. Playing without fans might take this advantage away though. Change of playstyle and formation - Zidane's tactics and his utilization of Casemiro to neutralize Messi have worked relatively well against Barça on most occasions. Barcelona's style might have changed over the years, but it was always possession-heavy. Zidane's Madrid have shown weaknesses when having too much of the ball, so maybe Koeman giving away more possession will hurt Madrid more than it benefits them. Ansu Fati - the rising star has been in amazing form and with just 17 years, he's having essential influence in Barcelona's games this season. Reckless and calm in front of goal, he's already collected 4 goals and 1 assist in all comps this season, more contributions than any of Madrid's players. On the left wing, he'll likely be facing Nacho, Madrid's makeshift RB and possible weak point, since Carvajal and Odriozola are both injured. https://preview.redd.it/vx84kodyzvu51.png?width=1002&format=png&auto=webp&s=0dc8bbab2a563efebbc40a86860f61e085b8af68
5 reasons Madrid is going to win
Defensive stability - Before the two matches against Cádiz and Donezk, Madrid have been extremely stable defensively. As hard as they struggle scoring goals, Madrid have been incredibly consistent in their defending, especially post-restart, only conceding 10 goals in 17matches (before the Cádiz match). If they can return to their usual defensive form and keep a clean sheet, another Ramos penalty might be all they need to collect all 3 points. Zidane's Clásico expertise - out of 8 Clásicos played under Zidane, Madrid have only lost 2 (4 wins, 2 draws). Apart from the Kovačić man marking Messi disaster (0-3, 23/12/2017) and the Messi masterclass with a red for Ramos (2-3, 23/04/17), Zidane's tactics have been working very well against Barça, especially taking Messi out of the match. If there's one man that knows how to get a win or draw against Barça, it's Zizou. Sergio Ramos - while Messi can be extremely decisive for Barça, the same goes for Sergio Ramos and Real Madrid. Madrid's captain is not only their leader and most important presence on and off the field, but also their defensive mastermind, as well as their free kick and penalty taker, with only Benzema (27) topping his goal tally of 13 last season. If there's one man to score a last minute winner in a big match, we all know it's him. https://preview.redd.it/a29vxaa60wu51.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=4d416332137adb09ab6c71b6899eb89792e1f14c They have the better midfielders and defenders - with all due respect to Barça, Madrid's depth and quality in midfield and defense (including GK, since Ter Stegen is injured) is higher than Barça's, on a normal day, that is. A midfield of Casemiro, Kroos and Valverde, with Isco and Modrić being options off the bench, might win the tactical battle for Madrid, while Courtois - Mendy - Ramos - Varane - Nacho with support of Casemiro is a backline that is hard to break down even for Messi, Fati and co. Barça's fear of big matches - Barças latest performances in the most important matches have been underwhelming, we're not only talking about the infamous UCL bottlejobs, but also about them losing the 2019 Copa final against Valencia, the last Clásico, the Supercopa semifinal against Atleti and struggling with Sevilla and Atlético in the league. There seems to be some mental blockade in big matches.
5 reasons for a draw
Attackers out of form - Griezmann, Benzema and Messi have not been racking up the goals so far this season. Combine this with Hazard's injury and Jović + Vinícius and their chronic inabilities to put the ball into the net from the easiest of positions, and placing bets on a player to score first in this match will get really hard. Might want to try Ramos. Both teams not scoring or conceding much - Barça (GF 2, GA 0,5) and Madrid (GF 1,2, GA 0,5) haven't scored much this season per match on average in La Liga, but neither have they conceded much. Smells like a 0-0. Last year's Clásico at Camp Nou - last year's Clásico at Camp Nou ended in a 0-0 draw. Both teams had the same number of points before the match, the risk of letting their rivals wander off with a 3 point lead was too high, so maybe the situation will be the same this year (Madrid at 10pts, Barça at 7 with one match less). The average goals per game in La Liga has never been this low - matches in La Liga are seeing 2,1509 goals on average this season so far. The only season that had less goals per match on average was 1972/73 (2,1438). I'm not saying this match will be a guaranteed 0-0, but seeing goalfests in La Liga is a rarity at the moment. Both teams neutralizing each others weaknesses - Barça's defense isn't the most reliable - we've know this at the very latest since the infamous 2-8. On the other hand, Madrid's attackers are having massive trouble scoring or even creating chances. While Barça still is an offensive powerhouse (at least looking at the teamsheet) with players like Messi, Dembélé, Griezmann and talents like Fati, Trincão and Pedri, the core of Madrid's success last season has been their defense, with the likes of Ramos, Courtois, Mendy and Varane putting up insane performances in La Liga ever since the restart. All in all, both teams seem to be perfectly neutralizing each others weaknesses.
5 reasons for you to tune in
Messi, Benzema, Griezmann, Ramos, Coutinho, Kroos... - even though the teams have surely lost quality in Cristiano, Neymar, Suárez etc. over the last few years, El Clásico still features some of the best and most appealing players in world football. Two world class teams, only meeting each other twice every La Liga season. Polemics of El Clásico - even though the Clásicos are not as heated as they were when Pep and Mou faced off, the likes of Jordi Alba, Piqué, Suárez, Vidal, Ramos and Reguilón have generated heated encounters and situations in El Clásico throughout the last years. Watch the players confront each other, watch two sets of fans creating conspiracies about the ref on soccer and I'm sure Alba will obligatorily wipe his hand through someone's face once again. Not something you'd want to miss. https://preview.redd.it/w7p7kfjc3wu51.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=b12637c3ba46e46d41b57cd314cc5c63dab24296 PL has Fulham-Palace on at the same time - I know this sub is full of PL fans who couldn't care less about the rest of Europe's leagues. But let's be honest, even to you guys Fulham vs Palace is surely not the most interesting white vs blue-and-red matchup taking place at 3pm this Saturday. The losing team will be in massive trouble - both teams have lost points twice already this season, and with some Barcelona fans increasingly unhappy with the club's general situation and some Madrid fans increasingly worried about the way Zidane's team is playing, the losing team and its fans will want to turn their trajectory around as fast as possible. Watch the hot takes coming in - KoemanOut? ZidaneOut? - or think of something more creative. Possibly Messi's last Clásico at Camp Nou - it's no secret the little magician wanted to leave Barça this summer. His contract is running out next summer, and if there is no other tie involving both teams this season, this could very well be his last Clásico at home. With the Messi-Ronaldo era in La Liga coming to an end, form your opinion on the new generation of La Liga's stars - Vinícius, Rodrygo, Valverde, Jović, Militão, Ødegaard for Los Blancos - Fati, De Jong, Dembélé, Pedri, Trincão, Puig for the Blaugranas. Will this be the worst Clásico of our time? We can only speculate, but one thing is for sure: a new era of El Clásico has begun.
An in-depth look at why Dream has always been right.
/rp /dsmp THIS IS ROLEPLAY, DO NOT SEND HATE TO ANY CC's! As I have said before, I adore the villain Dream plays. He's manipulative, cruel, and knows how to get what he wants by stepping on others. True perfection in a chaotic evil individual. I see those traits making a successful character who gets his way no matter what. Now, most see Dream as the bad guy, destined to fall soon. However, while he is chaotic evil, sometimes chaos is the better choice over law. This is more than true in Dreams' case. Ever since the beginning of the server, Dream has been destined to win. Let me explain. In the beginning with the Disc Sagas, Dream had the right idea by immediately going for the discs. Tommy was foolish for showing that he had any attachment to them at all. If he had just left them in his ender chest and not said anything to Dream, none of what is going on now would be happening. All of the problems on the server stemmed from those discs. By taking advantage of Tommys' blatant foolishness and trying to keep the discs from him, Dream was trying to keep his server safe from breaking down into chaotic anarchy due to an obsessed maniac child with a hyper fixation on music discs and the nerve to stand up to him. During the L'Manberg Revolt (I refuse to call it a true revolution for reasons following), Dream convinced Eret to betray the rebels and join his side in return for kingship. This is the first showcase of Dreams' evil tendencies showing through. He took a dark path to reach the light. He knew Eret could be good and wanted to protect them from the massacre he would cause. In the end, the Dream SMP belongs to Dream, and Wilbur had zero right to establish his own claim on the land Dream created. The true enemy of the revolt was Wilbur all along. But, Wilbur won the war, you say. No. He didn't. Dreams' army decimated L'Manberg and defeated Tommy in the bow duel. Had Tommy not manipulated Dream into allowing L'Manberg to have independence by surrendering the discs to him, L'Manberg would be nothing more than a memory. Keep this disc exchange in mind. This moment is what backs up Dreams' current argument that the discs belong to him, not Tommy. This is the only point in the server where Tommy willingly handed the discs to Dream. Ever since then, Tommy has been trying to steal them back. The discs officially belong to Dream. During the Election process and following war era, Dream backed up Schlatt at first, then turned on him and supported Wilbur, then returned to Schlatt again, then finally settled on having Wilbur betray Pogtopia. This is another showcase of Dreams' chaotic evil side. Although Dream went back and forth, supporting the side that would cause more destruction, he consistently chose the side that would destroy any threat to his powers. In the end, Dream was always against L'Manberg. A nation he never recognized. This battle is the first fight that Dream technically won. He achieved every last goal he had except for one. The only goal he seemed to share with Technoblade: end the government. Otherwise, Dream was able to tear down any threats to him and keep them down for quite a while before any new trouble arose. After Tommy and Ranboo tore down Georges' house, Dream was angered. Why? He cares about George very much (A DNF arc was genuinely possible for a while). Dream also saw this minor griefing incident as a chance to truly eliminate the single last threat to him left. Tommy made an incident completely unrelated to the discs about that, which was his biggest mistake. Had Tommy left the discs out of the situation and, for once, shut his goddamn mouth, Dream might have conceded to the probation. Instead, Tommy acted selfishly and placed himself in front of his nation. Tommy challenged Dream with Spirit, which was a stupid move on his part. Tommy should've known that Dream had lost all care for anything except for the discs and, most likely, George. This move also makes Sapnap a fool, but we'll get to that part later. Tommy was rightfully exiled and is suffering, but is learning his lesson. I'll come back to Tommys' rather enjoyable depression later. The subplot going on currently (aside from the whole bloodvines chaos, which I won't go over here as we don't have enough information to connect that to Dream of one of his potential allies yet) is the Mexican L'Manberg/El Rapids story. To paint Dream in a good light in this plot, we have to go back to when Dream dethroned George. Dream did this to protect him, yet George whined because both he and Sapnap misinterpreted Dreams' speech to Tommy about him not caring. When Dream said that he didn't care about anything but the discs, he meant that he didn't care about any other material item. Spirits' leather was useless to him. His actions towards George spoke way louder than his words did. George and Sapnap we're foolish for not realizing that Dream was doing everything, not just for his own gain, but for his friends' gain as well. Running off with Quackity and Karl to start a protest was a baby move. Once Mexican L'Manberg gained enough power to stand on their own, they immediately became a terrorist organization. Eret earned the throne by betraying L'Manberg, but it wasn't a mistake on Dreams' part to dethrone him. Eret chose to side against Dream, even when they were asked to at least remain neutral as a king. Dream crowned George king because he was the most neutral man on the server at the time. He then sent George off to build his cottage to protect him from the war because he cared. After the war, George became more involved in the politics of the server, therefore making him not neutral and a massive target. Eret, having been dethroned before, learned his lesson and returned to his neutral ways. Dream saw this and gave him back the crown after George babyraged over unimportant matters. Mexican L'Manberg then proceeded to attack Eret and their castle, stealing his physical throne in an attempt to return it to George. Dream and his allies were willing to fight, but Mexican L'Manberg fled to the Holy Land instead and immediately tagged Dream as the terrorist. Now, I'm sure that Alex is a good debater in real life as a lawyer, but holy fuck was Quackitys' defense terrible in that fight. Dream was right to label them as pussies for not even trying to fight and instantly camping in the place where they couldn't legally be killed. Dream caused no mayhem that night, only Mexican L'Manberg with the destruction of Erets' castle. Who's the terrorist then? Finally, Quackity used the defense that Dream has no right to be pulling the strings of every event in the server. That's horse shit. It's Dreams' server, it always has been, and it always will be. It's his job to make sure everything goes how he needs it to go. If I were Dream, I would just take Quackitys' last canon life early and cut the resistance short. Quackity poses no true threat to Dream PVP-wise, but he's dangerously good at convincing powerful people. He's a loose cannon that needs to be eliminated swiftly and ruthlessly. Back to the main story with Tommy. Dream has been visiting Tommy every day and doing repetitive activities with him. The most notable two being blowing Tommys' things up whenever he makes any progress and stopping him from committing suicide. Since this plot has yet to show a true end in sight, I have to theorize. I have come up with two theories, both of which lead to a victory for Dream and keep him on the good side. First theory, Dream is keeping Tommy alive and training him to be his loyal drone. Over time, Tommy has grown more and more used to Dreams' hilarious torment (no seriously, I laugh every time Dream steals from him. It's funny af) and concedes faster and faster to Dream. Dream using Tommys' dying sanity as leeway to teach him to obey his every command. But what about the skins Tommy will be using that progressively look more and more dead? Those make more sense in the second theory, but I have some ideas about them in this theory as well. When Tommy reaches the mental condition depicted by the final skin (extremely ripped/dirty clothing and baggy, bloodshot, and gray eyes), he will obey any command given to him. Dream will use Tommy to kill Tubbo for the disc he has, then either let Tommy live while still in exile so he doesn't remember his attachment to Tubbo or the discs, or he'll kill Tommy right after to eliminate all threats. My other idea is that he'll let Tommy die in the state of the final skin, but he'll come back, either as a vengeful ghost or an undead zombie and, because he's used to Dream calling the shots, will obey him and take Tubbos' life for the discs. Time for the second theory. Dream has been stopping Tommy from killing himself early on because he wants to make a spectacle of his death. He could do this in one of two ways. The first way is that he could threaten Tubbo into giving up Tommys' disc by taking Tommys' life. That would be more violent and less on the good side, so this second way is what will likely happen if the plot shifts this way. During World War I, soldiers held a Christmas Armistice, where all fighting was paused to celebrate the holiday. From what I remember in class, enemy soldiers played soccer in No Man's Land and chatted like friends, even though they were off killing each other not long after (google this for more, it's really cool). I predict that a similar thing will occur this Christmas on the Dream SMP. After the irl actors spend real Christmas with their families and whatnot, everyone who can will log on for a Christmas party. All fighting will be paused and everyone will come together and share good memories, gifts, and jolly. Tommy will still be in exile and will not be allowed to join the party. During said party, Tommy will kill himself. Everyone will see the death message in the chat and chaos will ensue. Amid this chaos, Dream will take his opportunity and attack Tubbo for the disc, either killing him for it or sparing him. Either way, Dream takes his discs back and the threat of Tommy, who was a traitor to Dreams' rightfully earned poweland from the very beginning, will be gone. One final idea I'd like to add that may or may not play into the main story: Dreams' plan with the prison. There is no way that Techno isn't gonna be in there eventually. Techno did hint at something bad happening soon when he said he was writing an arc, ya know. Although the server is on 1.16 and Dream, according to the duel, is better at axe PVP than 1.8 like Techno (don't come at me for that I don't fully understand the logic of Minecraft PVP as well as the guys do, I'm just making observations based on what I saw), Techno grinds harder on the server. He doesn't just make one set of maxed out netherite, he makes 10. We don't know what all Dream has under his belt since we haven't seen where his current base is (and we probably won't any time soon), we know that Techno will be a rough match if the two have to brawl. Now, there are two reasons why Dream might want Techno locked away. One, he's a threat to Dream. Two, Dream wants Techno alive and safe for reasons unknown, so Techno will consent to being locked up for his own safety against Tommy or the Butcher Army. Number one is more likely, since Dream appears to be pro-government. Dreams' best bet with imprisoning Techno would be to take Phil hostage. Since Phil is a hardcore boi, he is constantly on one life. If he canonically dies, he's out. Techno loves his dad and will do anything to keep him alive, including running headfirst into Dreams' grasp. I'm not sure how this will play into the main plot, but I wanted to discuss my thoughts on it while I can. That's pretty much all I have to say on this. I identify as chaotic evil myself, so that's probably why I'm so adamant about the bad guys winning. If you need a tdlr, essentially I'm trying to say that Dream has every right to everything on the server and he is always in the right. It's just that he is chaotic evil, so he takes dark paths to reach the light. If you've made it this far, please leave a comment and share what you think about my ideas. I love debating dsmp theories with others. Please keep debates civil and remember that this is all just roleplay. Thanks everyone!!!! Have some blue: 💙🐦🐬🦋🌊🧦💎📘🔵🦕🔷💙
Japanese Soccer player HIROKI SAKAI epitomize the issue that plagues us
Throwback (you might need it to understand the whole story, this is long but trust me it speaks volume, english isn't my native tongue so don't be too surprised if you read something poorly worded).
September 13, 2020
During a soccer (football) game having Paris Saint Germain face Olympique de Marseille, brazilian superstar Neymar (PSG) got into a clash with spanish player Alvaro Gonzalez (OM). That game ended with a huge controversy, Neymar accusing Gonzalez of racism. In those current times of Black Lives Matter uproar (Neymar is half black), this polemic got huge, worldwide, Neymar's tweet after the game got nearly 1 Million likes and 200k retweets: https://twitter.com/neymarjstatus/1305262756459876358 The entire world backed Neymar and condemned Gonzalez's racism, rightfully so, because racism is bad right ? Fuck racism. But there were no proofs yet, so the french justice asked for video tapes from the broadcasters and profesional lip readers were brought in.
September 22, 2020
Lip readers confirmed that Gonzalez called Neymar "mono" (monkey). A huge win against racism, especially for the black community. People better watch their mouth next time they disrespect a black player and racially abuse him. Here comes the most interesting part
September 23, 2020
Football club OM alledges that japanese player Hiroki SAKAI got racially abused by Neymar in that same game.
September 29, 2020
It was confirmed by profesional lip readers that Neymar threw a "[...] chino de mierda" at japanese international player Sakai. Which would be like "shitty chinese" in english. https://twitter.com/GFFN/status/1311061788012707840https://twitter.com/ellarguero/status/1311056762418667524 The irony right ? Neymar, who raised a riot against Alvaro's racism, witnessed abusing an Asian player, Sakai, known in the game for being very peaceful. Besides we're all Asians here, we all know that he didn't think that Sakai was chinese. We Asians, are all "chinese" for this kind of people. Now, the ice on the cake
September 30 - October 1, 2020
Hiroki Sakai releases a post on instagram, exonerating Neymar, saying the brazilian player never abused him. https://www.instagram.com/p/CFzkzApJzjg/ " Nobody said anything discriminating to me. We just had a little argument " He says. https://twitter.com/ActuFoot_/status/1311765809321177089 So Sakai decided to kill this second controversy in the egg, whereas Neymar got very vocal about it. This won't go further, the medias won't publicly condemn the casual racism towards an Asian and make a huge fuss about it, there won't be 1Million likes and 200k retweets. Not gonna lie I just want to puke. Thus what can we learn about this ? - Neymar by being extremely vocal about this whole controversy, got the entire world's attention on the matter of racism towards black people, all ethnicities, all ages. Not a single player from profesional to youth divisions will ever dare to say something racist towards a black player from now on (was already the case tbh, its extremely rare that people dare to be racist in public with black people). Doesn't matter if he lost fans in the process, he made a huge step forward for black people. - On the other hand Sakai didn't want to confront this matter, he decided to "let it fly". Sakai could have been a gigantic foundation stone to fight racism towards asians, the reason being that the culprit was one the biggest star in the worldhttps://www.instagram.com/neymarj?hl=en, in the most mainstream/popular sport in the entire world. Sakai didn't have to speak up. People would have fought this battle for him. But he prefered to back off straight away to maintain his own image. Hiroki-kun wants everybody to love him. Hiroki-kun doesn't want to make ennemies. Hiroki-kun doesn't want people fighting and arguing over him. You can slap or spit to his face, you can call him a chink, Hiroki-kun will just smile. Because life is a manga isn't it ? Very respectulf and docile people finish first... right ? Not really. All those asian kids in the West will keep hearing "fucking chink" and other disrespectul slurs while training or playing football games (or any other sports) for their entire childhood just like I did, and eventually give up because fed up of having to deal with this shit. And the rare top asian players will keep hearing racist shit with only few people being offended by it. And therefore casual racism lives on for many years without barely anybody to stand up against to make those socially unacceptable https://twitter.com/Marshal014/status/1012324302744678401https://twitter.com/Techivist/status/1012028237415776256 Seen live on national Mexican TV, when South Korea knocked Germany out of the 2018 World Cup to allow Mexico to go the final stage https://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-39919870 Argentinian player Lavezzi, ironically playing for Chinese club Hebei China Fortune 2017 https://www.sportbible.com/football/news-coach-accused-of-making-racist-gesture-to-player-takefusa-kubo-20200210 Real Mallorca coach assistant's racist gesture towards japanese player Takefusa Kubo 2020 A random one that I just found about Sakai, when COVID just started, so funny hey ? I bet Hiroki-kun would hug this guy and let him marry his daughter https://twitter.com/Payetz10__/status/1238182925977505792 A couple of random bonuses : https://twitter.com/LoGioPSG/status/1311069925776273408 https://twitter.com/kingchris287/status/1311325600267763714 And my favorite one by french/algerians rappers PNL (most popular rappers in France), the official MV got removed because I think they stole a melody from a japanese pianist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4snmn5QoUFo In french "parle pas chinois avec moi" (don't speak chinese with me), means that someone doesn't make sense or just stuttering, shitting himself. I really love how they chose to film this in Japan, really suits the mood as well as this topic 🤡 To conclude I lost a lot of respect for Sakai, but I won't lie, that didn't surprise me one bit. If you already read me, you know that I'm not a big fan of Japanese culture. I don't care if he's a nice guy, of course he is, but that was so selfish, there was a much bigger picture, a bigger fight, and he didn't even have to fight it, so many people would have done it for him and they would have won because it's racism. But he exonerated him, thus people will let it slide. I had to talk about it because it just made me feel nauseous and angry, to say the least. Now this shit will just be forgotten. Alvaro Gonzalez ends up being a racist but not Neymar, what he did to Sakai was "ok", people will keep doing it. Asians who have power and big reach have to speak up, as much as we do, this is how black people changed things for their own kind. Took me a while to write this, thanks for reading it it you made it this far, you're a G. Stay safe.
[Eurovision] Spain in the late 2000's: El Chiki Chiki and the next years, or how an internet meme became one of the most memorable acts in history and broke Spain's spirit forever.
Oh yeah. If you have seen the comments of my previous post, the most common comment in all of them is "Where is El Chiki Chiki?", and if you don't follow Eurovision you must already be wondering what the hell is that and why people request it so much. Buckle up, you're about to find out. Here's the usual glossary for those who haven't been following this:
Eurovision: The Gay Olympics An international music contest in which most countries in Europe and some not in Europe take part.
EBU: European Broadcasting Union, an international body made by many national broadcasters that organizes Eurovision and sets its rules.
TVE - Radiotelevisión Española, the Spanish national broadcasters that represents Spain at Eurovision.
Juries: Panels of alleged music experts who vote, both in Eurovision and in national finals.
Televote: Vote by the public, usually done by phone/SMS and in some cases by internet, both in Eurovision and in national finals.
National final: A televised show in which a national broadcaster selects their representative, usually with vote by the public.
The setup So I already told you how Spain is the only country with 100% victory drama in the sixties and a bit of miscelaneous drama in the next three decades. And then it came the early two thousands, and they got their hearts broken in 2002 when, after hyping themselves believing that Rosa would win or place very close to the top she only placed seventh and from then on the placements of Spain went steadily downhill, and the Spanish public became convinced that Eurovision was a big joke, that Spain would never do well and that basically it wasn't worth the effort. Here we will deal with the next three years, and if you want a heads up, what happened here was what would happen if the Trump electoral campaigns were an Eurovision country. 2008: Or why letting internet trolls pick your national representatives is not a good idea In 2008, Spain decided to hold a national final to chose their representative in Eurovision. The title was, Salvemos Eurovisión, which translates as "Miraculously we found a fuck to give but it's probably the last one" "Let's save Eurovision", just so you can gauge how their spirits were. And they decided to hold their national final, for the first time ever, via the internet. Now, you need to remember that 2008 was twelve years ago and the internet back then was radically different from what it's now. Reddit was less popular than Digg, Yahoo was worth money, Chrome didn't exist and this was the most watched video on Youtube. For social media, Facebook was still only a blip on the radar and TVE decided to use MySpace for the national final. (If you don't know what that is, ask your parents). TVE set up a platform on MySpace in which any artist could submit a song and anyone in Spain could vote. The five songs with the most votes and five more picked by a jury would qualify to a televised final. They received a grand total of 536 songs from all over Spain. (Amongst them La Revolución Sexual from La Casa Azul which is how I discovered Eurovision, so you can blame them for this post if you want). One of these online entries was El Chiki Chiki by Rodolfo Chikilicuatre. This is very blatantly a joke entry. Besides being intentionally performed badly, it parodies reguetón music that was pretty in at the time and mocks some iconic dance steps (el brikidans, el cruzaíto, el maiquelyaison and el robocó). But there's more: The lyrics make barely veiled references to the prime minister of Spain José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, the opposition leader Mariano Rajoy, president of Venezuela Hugo Chávez and an the time the Spanish King told him to shut the fuck up in an international summit. In theory, this is all political commentary that is against the rules of Eurovision, and somehow TVE accepted it. Another point of controversy was that Chikilicuatre was a comic character (The real name of the guy is David Fernández and you're not going to remember it just like I don't) created for a late night show that promoted his song heavily and whose host called his public to vote for him. Other contestants protested, saying that he was getting an unfair amount of promotion, but TVE told them tough luck, maybe they should have thought of becoming friends with a late night host too. And then, enter the next big player: Forocoches. Although its name is an allusion to cars, Forocoches was an internet forum with very little moderation and a high propensity for trolling, that kind of was the closest thing Spain had to a native version of 4chan (you already can see where this is going, right?) and they decided it would be a hilarious joke to vote the song and make it go to Eurovision. They started voting for Chikilicuatre en masse and between this and the tv promotion he shot up to the top of the voting. Then there was a fallout between the trolls. The users of Forocoches were expecting some acknowledgement from the show and its host (they were allies, after all), and when they didn't get it they decided to divert their efforts to an even more trollish act: Antonio el Gato with "La Bicicletera", which is either an amazing example of abstract dubstep or one of the worst songs ever. El Gato shot from 300 votes to over 80,000 in two days and TVE decided that maybe letting internet votes be manipulated was not a good idea. They disqualified El Gato, but they kept Chikilicuatre. So Chikilicuatre and Forocoches were pretty much stuck with each other. He won the online voting round and then he also won the public vote in the final and not even by a slim margin: In total he got 60 points versus 48 of runner up Coral. This wasn't just a TV show promoting him or just internet trolls voting for him. This was a majority of the public deciding to send him because they were done with Eurovision and sending a joke act to laugh at Europe and tell them how little they cared. They were not the first country to do that nor they would be the last, it's all part of the game. Now, the lyrics have a lot of politics which is is a big no in Eurovision, so obviously they would have to sanitize them for Eurovision. Of course. LOL, NO. The final version had some lyrics rewritten to add fake English, but the only political allusion that was removed was Hugo Chavez. Anything else was still there and somehow the EBU let it pass because it was in a language that a majority of Europe wouldn't understand. The rest of the act had been taken up to eleven, including playing a toy guitar at the beginning, a backing singer pretending to fall and flashing her underwear to the audience, a mock crucifixion with Chikilicuatre held in the air by his backing singers... He was going full force troll act. I personally don't like it, but I have to admit that as a joke act it's VERY effective. You don't need to understand the language to be in the joke, you just have to watch it, and it's pretty memorable. At that time the scores in Eurovision were 100% televote and the public responded... comparatively well to it, taking it to sixteenth place in a field of twenty-five. Is it a good place? Meh, not really. He was barely avoiding the lower third of the score table. But is it a good place for the expectations about him? Hell yeah! And not only that, it was the best place Spain had in four years and precisely when they were trying to avoid it. Just like Rosa's relative failure did six years before, Chikilicuatre's relative success had a big impact in the Spanish psyche and giving the same exact message: Eurovision was not worth taking seriously. Just look at this! A serious act with all their effort behind it had only placed seventh, while a troll act full of disdain had managed to place sixteenth! Why try hard or even try at all, if phoning it in you didn't risk disappointment and could actually end up in better spirits? (Since people recall better their feelings than the facts that caused them, a decade later some people actually believe that Chikilicuatre placed higher than Rosa) The top performers of the year didn't help: The winner for Russia brought his own ice rink and an Olympic skater to dance on it (And for reference, this is the same guy that two years earlier had brought a piano with a ghost woman and to ballerinas ) Ukraine managed to give boners to both gay and straight dudes wit a Swarowski-clad diva climbing a translucent wall (No, really, watch that. It's probably the ultimate 2000's Eurovision act. We PEAKED there, people) and Greece rounded the top three with a pop-up book slightly smaller than my living room. They're all very over the top, flashy acts with that are at least as focused on the show as on the song, if not more, and also Russia, Ukraine and Greece belong to strong voting blocs (Former Soviets and Balkans, respectively), so this continued reinforcing the perception of Eurovision as a joke. And... well, that's the story of how Spain lost the last fuck they had to give, by having a very successful joke that went better than expected. Positive reinforcement is a hell of a drug. And that, kids, is why internet trolls shouldn't be allowed to weigh in real world decisions. 2009: They stole our votes! The next year Spain organized again a national final, titled "Eurovisión: El retorno" (That translates as "Eurovision: The return" but pretend it doesn't. It was bullshit and everyone knew it). The format was pretty similar, with first an online round (With a whopping 978 songs) from which the public chose 20 and after adding more songs from a jury and three semifinals, twelve songs faced each in the final. This year there were no troll shenanigans and the national final was shaping up pretty smoothly until the first semifinal. At the end it came down to two rather similar acts: Soraya with La Noche es Para Mí and Melody with Amante de la Luna. (If they seem a bit similar to two of the top three of last year is because they are. Spain has talent to find what works in Eurovision after it worked). Melody was in a partnership with Los Vivancos, a group of dancers known for mixing Spanish folk dance with stripping onstage. The kind of things the Eurovision public likes. Four days after the first semifinal in which they competed and qualified, they decided that the stage was too small, the audio was bad, the video was bad, and that what was supposed to be an equal partnership between them and Melody was being treated in media as if they were only her backup dancers. With only ten days left to the final, they announced they were dropping out and left melody scrambling to find a replacement group of dancers. Which she did. And at the end her performance was not that bad. They even had the pecs and everything. Melody won the juries and placed second in the televote, and Soraya placed second in the juries and won the televote, and since the tiebreaker was the televote she was chosen as Spain's representative. Melody won the juries and placed second in the televote, and Soraya placed second in the juries and won the televote, and since the tiebreaker was the televote she was chosen as Spain's representative. Her song, by the way, had been composed in Greek two years earlier and had been rejected by three artists before she took it, had it rewritten in Spanish and released it, and urged by her fans she entered it to the online voting two hours before the deadline. (It was eligible since none of the other artists released it commercially). Now, I'm not saying anything, but maybe if three artists already rejected your song you should take a step back and reconsider if you really want it... The Spanish fans, of course, started hyping it because that's what they do. It was a powerful song, it would be rewritten to make it even more powerful, Greece would vote for Spain because the original composers of the song were Greek, Sweden would vote for Spain because Soraya's boyfriend was a Swede... and I'm not kidding, this is what some of them said, forgetting that the people who care about this kind of details is a minuscule fraction of the total voters who only care about the song and only hear it on Eurovision night. And Soraya fed them. She promised the fans an amazing show, in which they (I quote) "would see butterflies instead of eyes" and they would have "an amazing concept never seen in Eurovision". What did they get instead? Smoky eyes and a disappearing trick with a piece of orange fabric.. (You can click here for the part of the trick). It wasn't bad, but... ok, yes, it was bad. Particularly because of the fabric. You could see the seams, literally and figuratively, and at the end she just moved a couple meters to the left and the camerawork didn't help to hide it. In 2009 juries were back and left her dead last, while televote left her slightly higher and the combined votes put her in second last position, 24 out of 25. Spain had placed last before but it had been with less countries competing, and in absolute terms this was Spain's lowest position ever. But let's go back in time to several weeks before the contest: Spain was originally planned to broadcast the first semifinal on Tuesday and vote on it (although they were not competing in the semifinal due to being automatically qualified to the final), and because of some to some internal issues by TVE they requested to switch to the second semifinal on Thursday. This was already a problem because two of Spain's neighbors (Portugal and Andorra) were in the first semifinal and they would miss the chance of some sweet neighborly votes. Both countries protested but EBU accepted it, although with some reluctance. At the end Portugal qualified and Andorra placed so low that getting votes from Spain would have made no difference, but anyway... Now, the Madrid Open on tennis was also happening on Thursday a few hours before than the second semifinal and TVE was already commited to show it, and when one of the Thursday matches went into overtime and started eating the time on the semifinal, TVE decided to continue showing it because they gauged that Spaniards cared more about tennis than about Eurovision. They later played the semifinal with a one-hour delay, and instead of using public vote and juries they used only the jury votes. Most of the countries taking part on the semifinal complained and for very valid reasons: Semifinals are a way for the European public to get a first contact with the songs competing, and a lot of the Spanish public missed this chance because a rerun is not as exciting as a live event, so the countries that qualified to the final would miss an advantage on the final that they should have had (It's not THAT unfair: From the countries not competing in the semifinals, Germany and UK were showing the first semifinal, and France and Russia showed the second semifinal, so each semifinal's qualifiers would have an advantage with those particular countries). And it was even worse for the countries that did not qualify, since they missed the only chance to show to the Spanish public their songs (including these masterpieces about a shoe and a traffic jam because this is fucking Eurovision). Now, one of the purposes of Eurovision, particularly for small countries without that much tourism, is simply to remind their existence to the rest of Europe and increase their regional presence, so cutting the chance to do this in one of the biggest markets in Europe was a big deal and none of the countries in the second semifinal were particularly happy with Spain. So, the Spanish fans came up with an alternative explanation for their low placing: All these countries were angry and agreed not to vote for Spain to punish them and... No, I'm just kidding. THAT would have made sense. The explanation they created was that Soraya had actually placed in the top 10 but EBU wanted to punish Spain for the delayed broadcast and had lowered their score by a hundred points. Never mind the fact that this would require rewriting the votes of at least a dozen countries and probably more, while the vote was happening, that it would have affected the standing of all other entries in the final, and that this could be solved simply with a fine. Hardcore fans who are more privy with how Eurovision works will say this ironically, but some of the average Spaniards honestly believe this. And a second explanation, that made so much noise that it was even echoed by one of the major TV channels in Spain, was that this was all on purpose. Spain knew that Soraya had high chances to win and they didn't want to deal with the expense of hosting the contest next year, so they had intentionally delayed the broadcast of the semifinal to make other countries angry at them and force EBU to punish them to make sure they didn't win. (Nevermind the fact that Alexander Rybak with Fairytale had been the red hot favorite for months and basically had the victory in the bag since he was selected to represent Norway, and that the winner hosting is a tradition but not mandatory) 5D chess, everyone! Then Spain sued Norway in the Supreme Court of Europe asking to remove their win... wait, wrong year and continent. My bad. 2010: Because having internet trolls influence your choices once was not bad enough. In 2010, Spain did again a national final in two parts, first an online selection titled OH GOD WHO CARES THEY CHANGE THE NAME EVERY YEAR "Eurovisión: Tu país te necesita" (Translates as "Eurovision: Your country needs you") and then a televised final. The online process was rife with irregularities. Even if TVE said that joke entries would be avoided because they didn't want another Chikilicuatre, there was a lot of them. The frontrunner of the votes, Karmele with Soy un Tsunami, was disqualified in late January. I think this is the song and if it is, it probably was disqualified for having lyrics mentioning the Spanish claims over Gibraltar, for mentioning commercial brands and for plagiarizing an old francoist song. She threw a tantrum, but there was not that much she could do. Chimo Bayo, who was in third place in the votes with La Fiesta del Fuego was disqualified as well for having been released in pubs before the required deadline of October 1st. Although another most probable reason was because he had close ties to competitor channels to TVE (some other songs with limited releases have been able to compete). Two other acts were also disqualified. Then El Pezón Rojo (That translates as "The red nipple") shot to the top of the votes with Y yo tan sexy, and twelve days later they were disqualified as well because their song had been aired in a podcast two years earlier. Three other acts were also disqualified. The online voting phase ended three days later and ten songs passed to the televised final, Destination Oslo. A lot of things have been gone from the internet in these ten years, so please excuse me for getting third hand reports about the whole thing, but apparently what happened here is that Forocoches had originally supported Chimo Bayo, and when he got disqualified they decided to boost the worst act they could find and their pick was John Cobra with Carol. I don't really like Chikilicuatre, but I have to admit it's a well conceived comedic act and it requires a lot of talent to successfully pull it off. John Cobra was just not that at all. It's not well conceived and it doesn't require or show any talent. Despite TVE's assurances that they would not allow troll acts, somehow John Cobra slipped through their filters and when the online voting finished he was on second place and passed to the televised final. And he made an absolute shitshow then: Allegedly, some members of Forocoches in the public booed him because they had asked him to wear a t-shirt with the logo of Forocoches and he failed to do it. The rest of the public booed him simply because he was just awful. His response was grabbing his crotch and shout at the public to suck his dick, on live TV. The presenter spent several minutes scolding him like a kindergardener and trying to get him to shut up just so she could continue with the show while he alternated between aggressively requesting a blowjob from his haters, aggressively thanking Forocoches and aggressively interrupting the judges when they were giving him their opinions, until one of the judges shut him down and told him that his attitude disqualified him to be in music forever. This got probably the loudest applause of the night. The presenter had to apologize twice for his attitude to the public and the viewers, once in the moment and another before announcing the winner, calling him "shameful". You can see the whole nine minute shitshow here or a highlight reel here. Even if you don't speak Spanish it's worth it. Unsurprisingly, he placed last. The winner and Spain's representative was Daniel Diges with Algo Pequeñito, a ballad of a man asking for a small show of love from his partner. The 2008 runner up Coral placed second again just to rub salt on her wounds. The song got a rather meh reception from the Spaniards. It wasn't seen as bad, but it was definitely considered cheesy and boring. But hey, at least it wasn't John Cobra and that was a pretty good quality. (Can anyone say Biden?). And most people disliked his staging, with backing dancers dressed as circus performers (kinda like childhood keepsakes) and pretty nonsensical dancing. But hey, he wasn't John Cobra! The dancing has it's merits, though: Imagine standing in one leg without moving at all during the first minute of the song. Now imagine doing that but in a handstand. That was difficult. But yes, it was creepy. His backing dancers are pretty much out of a child's nightmare. During his performance in Eurovision, a Catalan professional invader that had entered the field of soccer and tennis matches and even the track of a Formula 1 race and had already been arrested for assaulting Roger Federer jumped on the stage and joined the dancers, wearing a traditional Catalan headwear. (I'm intentionally not linking his profile or writing his name, btw). He was onstage for around half a minute until security chased him out, but you can still see him get dragged out in a couple takes after he jumps off the stage. Then when Daniel's backing singer entered the frame as it was planned, some people thought it was the streaker again and were very confused until they realized what was happening. Here you can see the whole thing. In hindsight, this played in Daniel's favor because of how professionally he and his dancers handled it. They didn't miss a beat of the performance even if they had no idea what was happening and this could actually have been dangerous. They were allowed to perform again at the end of the show and this second performance went without interruptions, and Spain eventually placed fifteenth. (This was one position higher than Chikilicuatre, but I bet you no one in the Spanish public remembers it). So yeah, 2010 was the year where trolls had a second chance and almost got it, but in the end, they didn't and everyone gave a sigh of relief. Some other stage invasions, just because. I'm not sure if this was the first stage invasion in Eurovision, but it certainly wasn't the last. Some people asked for this and since it wouldn't merit a post of its own, I will take the chance to write about two other notorious stage invasions: In 2017, when previous year's winner Jamala was performing as an interval act in the final, an Ukrainian guy drapped in an Australian flag jumped onstage and bared his ass and was actually tackled out the stage. He probably was treated much more roughly because political tensions in 2017 Ukraine were much higher than in 2010 Norway and he was deemed a much more serious threat. EBU later uploaded her performance on the rehearsal the day before as the official version. I watched it twice waiting for the mooning moment before realizing what was happening. Shame on me. And in 2018, a British political activist interrupted the performance of Surie, representing United Kingdom, to demand press freedom. They cut to shots of the public while security reduced him and gave Surie back his microphone. I was watching this contest live on a square in Lisbon, btw, but at right that moment I was too busy trying to get into some Irish dude's pants and missed it happening. And I didn't even get the dude. Shame on me. Just like Daniel, Surie was offered the chance to perform again but she declined, saying that she was proud of how she had handled it. (A year later she revealed that it had been pretty traumatic, though, and she actually had to deal with PTSD because of it). And just like Jamala, EBU uploaded the version in the rehearsal of the previous day as the official version, but BBC decided to keep the version with the invasion. Just so we don't miss a year, 2011 2012 was a turning point for Spain, so I want to write about 2011 here to tie things up. There wasn't much drama this year. They changed the format to a show to pick first and foremost artists. Three acts made the national final with each of them being given three songs, and then the most voted song by each artist would go to a final round to be chosen by the public. The winner was Lucía Pérez with "Que me Quiten lo Bailao", a song she really didn't want to perform (She was much more keen of Abrázame, another of her songs). Still, she was stuck with that song and tried to do her best. At the end, Spain placed third from the bottom with 50 points. This is actually a very high score for such a low placing and 2011 had the most even final ever, with the winner scoring only 221 points. As a comparison, in the most uneven final ever in 2015 both songs in the top 2 passed 300 points, a score of 50 would have put her in 12th place, and the third song from the bottom scored only 4 points. Germany was hosting in 2011 and they took LED screens in the background to a new level, and there is an urban legend that Spain didn't specify what they wanted on the screens and when they were shown a stereotypical palms and fireworks background they protested, only to be told that it would be either that or exploding pigs. I don't think that's true, but I decide to believe it because it's hilarious. So that's it. I hope you enjoyed it and stay tuned for the 2010's: How Spain kind of got their mojo back and lost it again. Note: This was originally posted in /HobbyDrama. You can find the original post here.
Previous episodes:Flamengo, Vasco, Fluminense, Grêmio, Botafogo, Atlético Mineiro, Internacional, Corinthians, Santos, Palmeiras, Cruzeiro In this series I will present each of the 12 Brazilian teams that together compose the "Big 12". My point is to make them more knowledgeable to you, since each one of these teams have their share of the Brazil national team success and of Brazilian club football accomplishments as a whole. I'll try to be as smooth, efficient and non-boring as I can. If the feedback is positive, I'll keep bringing more to this series. So ok, let's do this! Method: I'll present the teams in a chronological order, from the oldest foundation (Flamengo-1895) to the latest one (São Paulo-1930). The order will be: Flamengo, Vasco, Fluminense, Grêmio, Botafogo, Atlético Mineiro, Internacional, Corinthians, Santos, Palmeiras, Cruzeiro, São Paulo. How many of these have you heard of? Geographical reference: Before we start, I'd like to ask something very simple from you. I want you to keep in mind that these 12 teams are spread in 4 different States in Brazil. The club's State name is written below, next to the club's name. It has a direct link to Google Maps, so that you can check it out to make this experience more accurate.
Major achievements: 3 Intercontinental/Club World Cup (1992, 1993, 2005), 3 Copa Libertadores (1992, 1993, 2005), 6 Brazilian Leagues (1977, 1986, 1991, 2006, 2007, 2008), 1 Supercopa Libertadores (1993)
State League titles: 21 (Against Corinthians' 30, Palmeiras' 23, Santos' 22)
PLAY AND LISTEN TO SÃO PAULO'S ANTHEM WHILE READING - Click here São Paulo FC, the biggest Brazilian club São Paulo seems to be the only team in Brazil that has all the major ingredients that make a team, the biggest: lots of international and domestic titles, big fanbase, big stadium, big idols and historical teams. Clubs like Santos or Flamengo come close, but lack one or other ingredient - that's why São Paulo, the only 3x Club World champion and the youngest of the Big12, is considered the biggest club in Brazil!
Brazilian Club
International titles
Domestic titles
Total
São Paulo
12
6
18
Santos
8
9
17
Flamengo
5
12
17
Palmeiras
3
14
17
Cruzeiro
7
10
17
Corinthians
4
11
15
Grêmio
6
8
14
Not only São Paulo leads the title rank, but also the runner-up rank, as you can see below:
Brazilian Club
International runner-ups
Domestic runner-ups
Total
São Paulo
8
8
16
Cruzeiro
9
7
16
Palmeiras
6
5
11
Santos
2
9
11
Internacional
2
8
10
Grêmio
6
4
10
In the entire South America, São Paulo is only behind Boca Juniors and Independiente in international trophies:
South American club
Intercontinental/Club World Cup
Copa Libertadores
Others
Total
Boca Juniors
3
6
9
18
Independiente
2
7
5
14
São Paulo
3
3
6
12
River Plate
1
4
5
10
However, you have to consider that in Argentina there are only 5-7 big clubs (Boca, River, Independiente, San Lorenzo, Racing, Estudiantes, Vélez), while in Brazil there are at least 12, making things more difficult to São Paulo. São Paulo is also the only Brazilian club to win 3x the Intercontinental/Club World Cup, which is considered their biggest feat:
Event
Match
Goals
Intercontinental Cup 1992
São Paulo 2-1 Barcelona
Raí (2x), Stoichkov
Intercontinental Cup 1993
São Paulo 3-2 Milan
Palhinha, Cerezo, Müller, Massaro, Papin
Club World Cup 2005
São Paulo 1-0 Liverpool
Mineiro
The beginnings São Paulo was founded in 1930, and accepted people from any origin, social class or ethnicity since their early days. They won their first trophy in 1931, a State League title, led by Friedenreich - who scored 103 goals in 5 years at the club. After a few fusions with other clubs, the team would begin to really shine in the 1940s. The 1940s: five State League titles Due to Brazil's huge size and weak infrastructure, there wasn't a National League until 1959 - until then and even afterwards, the State Leagues were the main tournaments. In the 1940s, São Paulo won 5 of them. At this time, the club also received the nickname "The Dearest Team", because they dared to bring and show a huge São Paulo State Flag in the inauguration of the Pacaembu stadium, in front of 70.000 spectators, including the hated Brazilian dictator Getúlio Vargas. Leonidas da Silva The first big idol of the club was Leonidas, present in the 5 State League titles in the 1940s. The Black Diamond had played in two World Cups (1934, 1938) and joined the club in 1942. He scored 140 goals in 212 matches, and retired from football in this same club, in 1950. It was in this decade that São Paulo gained the respect of the best teams of the city, Palmeiras and Corinthians, who already had 10 State League titles on their account. In 1943, during a State League draw, a Corinthians' director said that the draw was unnecessary: he flipped a coin and said that if it falls head Palmeiras will be champions, if it falls tail it will be Corinthians. After being questioned about São Paulo, he replied, laughing: "if the coin stands, it will be São Paulo, if it stops in the air, it will be Portuguesa". São Paulo were the champions, and had a huge coin standing on their car during the celebrations at night. The Steamroller dominated the decade, got the respect of Corinthians and Palmeiras and were now considered a rival. These 3 teams received the nickname of Iron Trio from the media. 1950s-1970: construction of Morumbi, the biggest private stadium in the world The club destined all their money in the 1950s to the construction of their stadium Morumbi, which would be the biggest private stadium in the world. Without funds to build a strong team, they only won two State Leagues in this period (1953, 1957), with the legendary Hungarian coach Béla Guttmann commanding them in the 1957 title, with 1950 World Cup Golden Ball winner Zizinho on their side. While São Paulo built their stadium, a young kid named Pelé arrived at Santos, and gave no chance to them, or to the Iron Trio teams in the 1960s. 1970s: back in the game In this decade, São Paulo won their first Brazilian League title in 1977, and also 3 State Leagues (1970, 1971, 1975), besides one Copa Libertadores runner-up (1974), and one Brazilian League runner-up (1973). Curiously enough, the 1977 São Paulo wasn't a great team, and nobody bet on them to become Brazilian champions. They beat Atlético Mineiro in the final, on the penalties, after two 0-0 ties. São Paulo missed their first two penalties, but managed to overcome Atlético, who sent three shots away. No São Paulo player was elected to the League's Best XI. The São Paulo players who stood out in this decade were: Gérson, World Cup champion in 1970, Pedro Rocha, elected to the League's Best XI in 1973, Mirandinha, elected to the League's Best XI in 1973 and called to the 1974 World Cup, Waldir Peres, excellent goalkeeper who won the League Golden Ball in 1975 and played in 3 World Cups (1974, 1978, 1982), Chicão, centre-back who played 312 matches for São Paulo in the 1970s and got called to the 1978 World Cup, and Serginho Chulapa, the club's greatest topscorer, who scored 242 goals in 399 matches for São Paulo between 1973-1982, and played in the 1982 World Cup as a starter, after Careca's injury. 1980s: State dominance In the 1980s, São Paulo watched their rivals Palmeiras and Santos struggle, as they took home 5 State League titles (1980, 1981, 1985, 1987, 1989). But it was in the 1986 Brazilian League that São Paulo proved their worth. Led by Careca, they ended the 1st stage undefeated (7W-3D). On the second stage, they kept the good shape, with only 2 defeats in 16 matches, and with 3 wins scoring 5 goals or more. On the knock-out stage, São Paulo first met Inter de Limeira in the ro16, the current São Paulo State League champions. São Paulo lost the 1st leg 1-2, but gave a 3-0 back in the return leg, with Careca scoring once on each match. In the quarter-finals, they would play Fluminense, and lost the 1st leg 0-1. In the 2nd leg, Careca opened the score at '67 with this crazy goal, and Müller scored the second ten minutes later. In the semi-finals, they would face América, a traditional team from Rio de Janeiro, that was big in the old days. América's goalkeeper worked hard, but at '80, Careca finally scored with this shot. In the return leg, Careca scored this genius lob goal from inside the box. The team held América's pressure, and left with a 1-1 tie and the spot in the big final. The big final would be against Guarani. In the 1st leg at the Morumbi, the topscorers of the tournament, Evair and Careca, scored once each, and the match ended 1-1. The 2nd leg was one of the craziest Brazilian League finals. It ended 1-1 with two own goals, and went to extratime. São Paulo did 2-1 with Pita at '91, but Guarani tied at '97 and scored the 3-2 at '110, with this goal of guts. São Paulo needed a goal in 10 minutes, and at '119, Careca scored to tie the match 3-3 and become the league topscorer. On the penalties, Careca missed São Paulo's first shot, but so did Guarani. São Paulo would score all their 4 other penalties, while Guarani's João Paulo sent it away, so that São Paulo were crowned Brazilian League champions for the 2nd time. São Paulo had 6 players elected to the League's Best XI: Gilmar, Dario Pereyra, Nelsinho, Bernardo, Pita, and the Golden Ball and league topscorer with 25 goals, Careca. Also in 1986, São Paulo had 5 players called to the 1986 World Cup, notably the starters Müller and Careca, as well as Oscar, Falcão and Silas. They lost on the penalties to France in the quarter-finals. 1991-1994: Telê Santana Era, the team that dominated the world Johan Cruyff said, after his Barcelona lost to São Paulo in the 1992 Intercontinental Cup: "if you are to be run over, better be by a Ferrari". This São Paulo superteam dominated Brazil, South America and the World in these years. They won 2 Intercontinental Cups, 2 Copa Libertadores, 1 Brazilian League, 1 State League, 2 Recopa, 1 Supercopa Libertadores and 1 Copa Conmebol, not to mention the Tereza Herrera (4-1 against Barcelona) and the Ramón de Carranza (4-0 against Real Madrid) in Spain. Everything started in 1990, with the arrival of Telê Santana, the celebrated Brazil 1982 coach. With him, São Paulo finished 2nd in the Brazilian League, losing to their rival Corinthians on the final. In 1991, São Paulo began the season in great fashion, winning the Brazilian League by June, with a 67% rate. They led the first stage, then knocked Atlético Mineiro out in the semis after two ties (1-1, 0-0), before beating Bragantino in the final (1-0 and 0-0), with this goal from Tilico on the 1st leg. São Paulo were crowned Brazilian League champions for the 3rd time. Two São Paulo players were elected to the League Best XI: Ricardo Rocha and Leonardo. On December 1991, São Paulo had their revenge against Corinthians in the State League final: in front of 102.000 spectators at the Morumbi, Raí scored a hat-trick and ended the conversation. 3-0 to São Paulo on the first leg, and a 0-0 tie in the second leg to secure the State League title against Corinthians. 1992: the first Copa Libertadores and Club World titles In this season, São Paulo won the Copa Libertadores on the first semester, then the Intercontinental Cup and the State League titles on the second. At the beginning, the coach Telê used the reserves in the Copa Libertadores, considering it a way too disloyal competition. But after a 0-3 defeat and with the pressure from the board to take it seriously, he changed his strategy and qualified from the group stage on the 2nd place, with 3W-2D-1L, behind Criciúma. São Paulo passed through Nacional (Uruguay) in the ro16 without much problems and 2 wins (1-0, 2-0). In the quarter-finals, São Paulo suffered, but beat Criciúma 1-0 at home with this goal from Macedo. In the 2nd leg, Criciúma opened the score at '10, but Palhinha tied with this great goal at '55, qualifying his team to the semis. In the semis against Barcelona (Ecuador), São Paulo smashed them 3-0 at home, with another great goal from Palhinha. In the 2nd leg in Ecuador, São Paulo goalkeeper Zetti performed this huge mistake as Barcelona scored 2-0 at '87, but it was too late and São Paulo qualified to the final. In the big final against Newell's Old Boys (Argentina), São Paulo lost the 1st leg in Argentina, 0-1. At home, with a crowd of 105.000 at the Morumbi, Raí scored 1-0 from a penalty at '65. The match ended and went to the penalties. The Argentines hit the post on their first shot, but São Paulo lost their third one. The Argentines missed their 4th shot, while Cafu scored. Zetti saved Newell's 5th shot - and São Paulo were crowned South American champions for the first time. Palhinha was the Copa Libertadores topscorer with 7 goals. This title qualified São Paulo to the Intercontinental Cup, to play against European champions Barcelona in December. São Paulo 2-1 Barcelona: the 1992 Intercontinental Cup title In August, São Paulo had already beaten Barça 4-1 for the Tereza Herrera Trophy (5mn video), with Müller scoring this nice goal. Four months later, they would meet in Tokyo for the Intercontinental Cup trophy. Bulgarian Stoichkov opened the score at '12 with this amazing goal. São Paulo, led by Raí, quickly dominated the match and tied at '27: Müller did a great Cruyffesque turn and assisted Raí to score. Minutes later, Müller almost scored this great lob goal. In the second half, Barcelona almost scored again, but Ronaldão saved on the line. At '78, Raí scored from this no-chance free-kick on the GK side to overcome the score to 2-1 in São Paulo's favor. Not much else was done, the match ended, and São Paulo were crowned for the first time Club World champions. Raí, who scored a brace, was elected Man of the Match.
São Paulo - 2
1 - Barcelona
1. Zetti
1. Zubizarreta
2. Vítor
2. Ferrer
4. Ronaldão
4. Koeman
3. Adilson
3. Guardiola
6. Ronaldo Luís
5. Sacristán
5. Pintado
6. Bakero (Goikoetxea)
8. Toninho Cerezo (Dinho)
7. Amor
10. Raí
10. Witschge
11. Cafu
11. Beigiristain (Nadal)
7. Müller
8. Stoichkov
9. Palhinha
9. Laudrup
Telê Santana
Johan Cruyff
One week after the title, on the 20th December, São Paulo played the 2nd leg of the São Paulo State League final, against rivals Palmeiras. São Paulo had won the 1st leg 4-2, with a hat-trick by Raí and this great goal by Cafu. In the 2nd and final leg, in front of 111.000 spectators, São Paulo won 2-1, with goals by Müller and Cerezo, to secure their 18th State League title and tie with Palmeiras in the State League title ranking. São Paulo played 84 matches in 1992, with 45W-21D-18L (66% rate) and 133 goals scored. Raí was the topscorer with 31 goals, folllowed by Palhinha (25) and Müller (24). 1993: International Quadruple Crown, São Paulo dominates the World again São Paulo started the season playing the São Paulo State League. However, the 1990s was a Golden Era of Brazilian football, and the State League was dominated by a rich Palmeiras sponsored by Parmalat, with Roberto Carlos, César Sampaio, Edílson, Zinho and Edmundo - so that São Paulo finished 3rd. São Paulo were focused in the 1993 Copa Libertadores, which they entered in the ro16, as returning champions. At first they had a 1992 rematch against Newell's Old Boys (Argentina): they lost 0-2 in Argentina, but stomped them 4-0 at home in the 2nd leg (3mn29 video). In the quarter-finals, they met Flamengo. Palhinha scored this beautiful lob goal at the Maracanã, in the 1st leg that ended 1-1. At home, Dinho almost scored from this crazy free-kick, but Müller didn't forgive and scored this nice goal at '24. Right-back Vitor saved São Paulo with the goal empty moments later, and then he assisted Cafu to score the second and qualifying goal at '68. In the semis, São Paulo sent Cerro Porteño (Paraguay) home, after a 1-0 victory at home and a 0-0 tie away. In the 2nd leg, after a corner kick by Arce, Ronaldo Luís saved São Paulo on the goal line. In the big final, São Paulo destroyed Universidad Católica (Chile). In the 1st leg at home, they were leading 5-0 at '70, before the Chileans scored their goal of honor at '85 - goals and highlights here (7mn13 video). In the 2nd leg in Chile, São Paulo lost 0-2, and were crowned back-to-back Copa Libertadores champions. Raí left to French club PSG after the Libertadores title. In this first span (1987-93) at the club, he scored 111 goals in 306 matches, as a midfielder. He would come back later, from 1998 until 2000. In September, São Paulo won their 2nd international trophy of the year - the Recopa Sudamericana, against Cruzeiro (0-0, 0-0, p.k. 4-2). In November, São Paulo won their 3rd international trophy of the year - the Supercopa Libertadores, which gathered all the 16 Libertadores champions in history. After beating Independiente (Argentina) (2-0, 1-1), Grêmio (2-2, 1-0), Atlético Nacional (Colombia) (1-0, 1-2, p.k. 5-4) and Flamengo (2-2, 2-2, p.k. 5-3) in the final, they only needed a win in the Intercontinental Cup against the AC Milan of Fabio Capello to claim the uniqueInternational Quadruple Crown. São Paulo 3-2 Milan: the 1993 Intercontinental Cup back-to-back title The early 1990s Milan was legendary - Gli Invicibili (The Invincibles) that won the 1991/92 Serie A unbeaten, reaching a 58-match run with no defeats. Baresi, Costacurta and Maldini, one of the strongest defences in football history, also Desailly and Donadoni in midfield, plus Massaro and Jean-Pierre Papin in attack. This Milan had 5 starters of the 1994 WC final against Brazil - São Paulo had none, actually only 5 bench players (Zetti, Ronaldão, Leonardo, Müller, and Cafu - who was subbed in during the final). This 1993/94 Milan only conceded 25 goals in 54 matches, but São Paulo somehow found a way to score 3 against them. Milan started the match better, with this crazy shot from Massaro. But it was São Paulo who opened the score at '19 with Palhinha, after this cross from Cafu. Massaro tied at the beginning of the 2nd half, but Cerezo scored the second at '59 after a cross from Leonardo. Papin tied it 2-2 at '81 from a header. But 7 minutes later at '88, this funny back/knee goal happened, scored by Müller. São Paulo held the pressure, the match endedand the World belong to São Paulo once again, for the second year in a row. Toninho Cerezo was elected Man of the Match. With this title, São Paulo joined Pelé's Santos record of winning two back-to-back Copa Libertadores and Club World titles - they are the only South American teams to have done so until today, and probably, forever.
São Paulo - 3
2 - Milan
1. Zetti
1. Rossi
2. Cafu
2. Panucci
4. Ronaldão
6. Baresi
3. Válber
4. Costacurta
6. André Luiz
3. Maldini
5. Dinho
8. Desailly
8. Doriva
5. Albertini (Tassotti)
11. Toninho Cerezo
7. Donadoni
10. Leonardo
11. Massaro
9. Palhinha (Juninho Paulista)
10. Papin
7. Müller
9. Raducioiu (Orlando)
Telê Santana
Fabio Capello
With this title, São Paulo won the International Quadruple Crown, and is the only team in the South American history to have achieved it.
Date
International Trophy
Adversary
May 26th
1993 Copa Libertadores
Universidad Católica (Chile)
September 29th
1993 Recopa Sudamericana
Cruzeiro
November 24th
1993 Supercopa Libertadores
Flamengo
December 12th
1993 Intercontinental Cup
Milan (Italy)
In 1993, São Paulo played 98 matches, with 46W-30D-22L (62% rate), scoring 163 goals. Palhinha and Raí were the topscorers with 22 goals each, followed by Cafu (20) and Müller (15).
Player
Period
Apps
Goals
Brazil NT Caps
Goals
World Cup att.
Zetti
1990-97
432
-
17
-
1 (1994)
Cafu
1990-94
273
38
150
5
4 (1994, 1998, 2002, 2006)
Valber
1992-97
159
5
12
-
-
Ronaldão
1986-93
300
3
14
3
1 (1994)
Ronaldo Luís
1992-95
109
2
-
-
-
André Luiz
1993-96
90
9
12
1
-
Pintado
1992-93
116
2
-
-
-
Doriva
1991-94
81
1
14
-
1 (1998)
Dinho
1992-93
113
12
1
-
-
Toninho Cerezo
1992-93
72
7
73
5
2 (1978, 1980)
Raí
1987-93, 98-2000
393
128
49
17
1 (1994)
Leonardo
1990-91, 93-94, 2001
112
17
60
7
2 (1994, 1998)
Müller
1984-88, 90-94, 1996
191
110
59
12
3 (1986, 1990, 1994)
Palhinha
1992-95
229
71
16
5
-
Juninho Paulista
1993-95
141
22
50
5
1 (2002)
1994-95: the end of the Telê Era Before Telê started to get sick in 1995, he had time to collect the 1994 Recopa Sudamericana and the 1994 Copa Conmebol - the latter with the reserve team, called Little Express, with upcoming talents such as Rogério Ceni, Juninho Paulista, and Denílson, who even beat the traditional Peñarol (Uruguay) 6-1 in the final - the largest score in a South American final ever. He also reached the 1994 Copa Libertadores final, but lost it on the penalties to Vélez Sarsfield (Argentina) (0-1, 1-0, p.k. 3-5). Telê passed away in 2006, at the age of 74, and is considered the best Brazilian coach in history. He inspired a series of world class coaches, namely Marcelo Bielsa, Arrigo Sachi and Pep Guardiola - notably with his Brazil 1982 and São Paulo 90-94 sides. 1996-2004: Rebuilding times, the club thatalmostwins In this period, São Paulo was known for building good teams and revealing great players, but without collecting trophies. They only won 2 State Leagues (1998, 2000), 1 Rio-São Paulo Tournament (2001), and an irrelevant Copa Master da Conmebol (1996). On the other hand, they finished 2nd in three State Leagues (1996, 1997, 2003), two Rio-São Paulo (1998, 2002), 1 Copa dos Campeões (2001), 1 Supercopa Libertadores (1997) and one traumatic Copa do Brasil (2000), losing the title in the last 10 minutes. They also reached 1 Copa Libertadores semi-final (2004), 1 Copa Sudamericana semi-final (2003) and finished 3rd in two Brazilian Leagues (2003, 2004). Meanwhile, their rivals Corinthians and Palmeiras were collecting trophy after trophy, while Santos started to reemerge to big titles. The highlights of this period were the return of Raí in 1998 and his performance (7mn video) against Corinthians in the State League final, the performances of Rogério Ceni, Belletti, França, Dodô, Marcelinho Paraíba and Luís Fabiano, and the revelations of Denílson, Julio Baptista and Kaká. Three of them even represented São Paulo at the 2002 World Cup title (Rogério Ceni, Belletti, Kaká), as well as Edmilson and Denilson, who lived this period at the club and were now in Europe. But the trophies weren't coming. Kaká, notably, appeared in 2001 in the Rio-São Paulo Tournament final. He entered the match at 0-1, and scored two goals in two minutes, thus taking the title home. He performed well in the 2001 Brazilian League, but was knocked out in the quarter-finals. After the 2002 World Cup title in June, Kaká returned to São Paulo and tore the Brazilian League apart with Luis Fabiano, winning the Golden Ball Award. However, the title didn't come again, as they lost in the quarter-finals (1-3, 1-2) to the uprising young talents of Santos' Diego and Robinho. The São Paulo supporters were extremely angry at Kaká, calling him a popcorn maker (meaning choker in Brazil), and demanded his exit, notably after another defeat in the 2003 State League final (2-3, 2-3) to rivals Corinthians. Kaká then left the club in 2003 to join Milan. He played 131 matches and scored 48 goals for São Paulo, in this period (2001-2003).
Player
Period
Apps
Goals
Brazil NT Caps
Goals
World Cup att.
Rogério Ceni
1990-2015
1237
131
18
-
2 (2002, 2006)
Edmilson
1994-00
256
1
40
1
1 (2002)
Belletti
1996-02
200
16
51
1
1 (2002)
França
1996-02
327
182
8
1
-
Dodô
1995-99
169
93
5
2
-
Marcelinho Paraíba
1997-00, 2010-11
201
50
6
1
-
Denilson
1994-98
191
26
61
8
2 (1998, 2002)
Kaká
2001-03, 2014
155
51
95
31
3 (2002, 2006, 2010)
Luís Fabiano
2001-04, 2011-15
347
213
45
28
1 (2010)
2005, Libertadores, Club World Cup and Rogério Ceni - the myth, the legend, the 1 Before 2005, Rogério Ceni was considered just a good goalkeeper - after that, he became a club idol and started de facto his legacy. Ceni arrived at the club in 1990, at the age of 17. He got promoted to Telê's main team in 1992, after the death of third goalkeeper Alexandre, and collected some important titles under him, as reserve. He started playing in 1997, for both São Paulo and Brazil NT - his known antipathy however didn't help him for Brazil, specially with so many talents around with more empathy, like Taffarel and Marcos, or with more skills, like Dida. He developed himself as a world class free-kick taker - and that, somehow, worked against him when people analyzed his goalkeeping abilities. Rogério Ceni is the goalkeeper with the most goals scored in history, with 131 goals in 1237 matches for São Paulo - 69 from penalties, 61 from free-kicks. In 2005, he notably scored 21 goals in 75 matches, being the team's topscorer of the season. The team started the 2005 season with some good players from 2004: Cicinho, Fabão, Lugano, Josué, Danilo, Tardelli and Grafite. With the arrival of Júnior, Mineiro, Amoroso and Luizão, the team was ready to dominate South America and the world for the third time. They started winning the São Paulo State League, led by the coach Émerson Leão, main responsible for building the team, since his arrival on September 2004. He would then leave to Japan, being subbed by Paulo Autuori. In the Copa Libertadores group stage, São Paulo ended 1st, with 3W at home and 3D away, against The Strongest (Bolivia) (3-3, 3-0), Universidad de Chile (Chile) (4-2, 1-1) and Quilmes (Argentina) (2-2, 3-1). Highlights to this free-kick goal by Rogério Ceni against Universidad. In the ro16, São Paulo met their city rivals Palmeiras, and won the 1st leg 1-0 away with this great goal by Cicinho. In the 2nd leg at home, Rogério Ceni and Cicinho scored at '81 and '89 to beat Palmeiras 2-0. In the quarter-finals, Tigres (Mexico) lost 0-4 to São Paulo in the 1st leg - Ceni opened the score with this great free-kick and also scored the third from another free-kick. In Mexico, they lost 1-2, but qualified anyway. River Plate (Argentina) would be their adversary in the semis. At home, São Paulo hit the post twice, and won by 2-0, with goals from Danilo at '76 and Rogério Ceni, from this penalty at '89. In Argentina, São Paulo won 3-2, without much problems. In the big final, São Paulo met Athletico Paranaense, and tied 1-1 in the 1st leg (away), with this funny own goal when they were losing 0-1. In the 2nd leg at home, São Paulo won 4-0: first with Amoroso at '16. Athletico then missed a penalty, and São Paulo scored the 2nd at '52 with Fabão. Luizão scored the 3rd and Tardelli the 4th. São Paulo were for the 3rd time, the Copa Libertadores champions, and the first Brazilian team to achieve it. Ceni and Luizão were the topscorers of the team, with 5 goals each. This title qualified them to the 2005 Club World Cup. 2005 Club World Cup: São Paulo 1-0 Liverpool, 3x Club World champions In Japan for their 3rd time, São Paulo first beat Al-Ittihad (Saudi Arabia) 3-2 in the semis, so they could face European champions Liverpool in the final. The English team hadn't conceded a goal in 10 matches, and went full-attack on São Paulo, who defended themselves. But at '27, Mineiro scored the only goal of the match after a chipping from Aloisio. São Paulo defended as they could, with great help from Ceni, who performed the save of the year after Gerrard's free-kick at '51. The match ended at '93, and São Paulo were crowned Club World champions for the third time. Ceni was elected Man of the Match and Golden Ball of the Cup.
São Paulo - 1
0 - Liverpool
1. Rogério Ceni
12. Pepe Reina
5. Lugano
3. Finnan
3. Fabão
4. Hyypiä
4. Edcarlos
23. Carragher
2. Cicinho
2. Warnock (Riise)
6. Júnior
22. Sissoko (Pongolle)
7. Mineiro
8. Gerrard
8. Josué
14. Xabi Alonso
10. Danilo
7. Kewell
14. Aloísio (Grafite)
10. Luis Garcia
11. Amoroso
19. Morientes (Crouch)
Paulo Autuori
Rafael Benítez
2006-08: the BrazilianSovereign In 2006, São Paulo reached once again the Copa Libertadores final, but lost to Internacional (1-2, 2-2). The team then focused on the Brazilian League, which they would win three consecutive times. Led by coach Muricy Ramalho, they would play defensive football (3-5-2) and show great regularity - though always getting eliminated in knock-out competitions. With these 3 titles, they reached a total of 6 league titles in their history. In these 3 league titles, São Paulo played 114 matches, with 66 wins and only 16 defeats (overall rate of 67%), conceding only 87 goals. 11 São Paulo players were elected to the League's Best XI in this period: Ceni, Ilsinho, Fabão, Mineiro and Aloísio (2006), Ceni, Breno, Richarlyson, Hernanes (2007), Ceni, André Dias, Miranda, Hernanes and Borges (2008). Highlights to Hernanes, great São Paulo revelation, who later shone in Europe.
Player
Period
Apps
Goals
Brazil NT Caps
Goals
World Cup att.
Cicinho
2004-05, 2010
151
21
15
1
1 (2006)
Lugano (Uruguay)
2003-06, 2016-17
213
13
95
10
2 (2010, 2014)
Júnior
2004-08
198
11
22
1
1 (2002)
Mineiro
2005-07
138
7
25
-
Josué
2005-07
158
7
28
1
1 (2010)
Danilo
2004-06
194
37
-
-
-
Grafite
2004-06
75
27
4
1
1 (2010)
Amoroso
2005
26
18
20
10
-
Luizão
2005
28
11
17
3
1 (2002)
Aloísio
2005-08
124
23
-
-
-
Miranda
2006-11
260
10
58
3
1 (2018)
Richarlyson
2005-10
147
6
2
-
-
Hernanes
2005-10, 2017, 2019-
297
49
27
2
1 (2014)
2009-today The São Paulo that brought fear to their adversaries disappeared in this period, collecting only one Copa Sudamericana in 2012. They managed however to reach two Copa Libertadores semi-finals (2010, 2016), two Copa do Brasil semi-finals (2012, 2015) and one 2nd place in the Brazilian League (2014). They also revealed Casemiro and Lucas Moura, among others. São Paulo is one of the 3 Brazilian clubs to never be relegated. To this day, São Paulo has the 3rd largest fanbase in Brazil, with 17 million supporters, and a stadium attendance average of 27.400, as of 2019. If you have any questions about Brazilian football, feel free to join us at futebol, where you'll be very welcomed!
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